This was going to be a post about how happy I am with where I’m at in terms of my health and running. Then I saw the last real post (which was like a million years ago) was also about running. I though “am I really blogging about running Jimi now?” At least the post was funny.
Pants falling down always is.
AnyButtShowing the happy with my progress post will come another day. About this time last year I got serious about leading a healthier life. I had done yoga sporadically. I’d done DDP YOGA even more but it was in February last year I got serious. Serious and consistent. One of the other things I wanted to work on was being open to doing more things. As a poet and a playwright I like to be alone. It just comes with the territory. My problem was (is) that I’m often uncomfortable in situations and I let that dictate what I do. The biggest problem I have with this is how it might hinder the wifebot’s fun. One of the things I love and admire about her is her willingness to put herself out there and try things.
This is not my style.
The point? I’m trying to do interesting things more often. I’m challenging myself more. Some ways are small (most of them are really). It’s why I’ve been a part of the Open Mic nights at Loganberry books for over a year now. It’s why when the wife wanted to go sledding this Florida raised dude went hurtling down a hill.
(On what is essentially just a trashcan lid)
I did this even though she suggested it to me after I had shoveled snow for an hour. The Shillelaghs like to make plans. There was a time where we would make a ton of plans and not really get through them all. Now? Now, the Shillelaghs destroy plans. We create and smash coffee tours. Lindsay creates seasonal bucket lists that we in turn attempt to help her crush.
<s>sledding</s>
Up next was snowshoeing (not officially placed on the list). Snowshoeing? Get the heck out of here with that. I mean I stumble around in snow all winter trying to get to the bus/work. Why would I or anyone want to? Right?
(Don’t be stupid!)
(Sorry I’ve not had breakfast today)
First the wifebot and I had to get our run in. It was technically week 7 day 3 of Couch to 5k. This called for a five minute warm up walk and then 25 straight minutes of running. I nailed it ending with 2 miles of running. Wait this isn’t about running!
(Damn you running!)
After a shower and a change we headed off to the winter sports center in the beautiful Cuyahoga Valley National Park. There we rented some snowshoes (only 5 bucks) and were shown how to wear and use them. We headed over to the Oak Hill Trail because it was a more moderate trail to do. This was our first time and we speculated on who would be the first to fall.
There were no falls. The Shillelaghs win this round snow. What was there?
Awesome conversations.
Pretty sights:
Poetic reflection:
And of course we stopped someone so we could have this (Lindsay’s photo):
Today is Monday. I don’t hate Monday’s but that’s probably because it is essentially a weekend day for me. The thing that sucks for me is the wife is stuck at work so it’s a missed opportunity
For sexy time
The danger in Monday is if it isn’t productive writing wise it sours rather quickly. This weekend sped by helped by the fact that I worked both Saturday and Sunday. I apparently hate having a weekend. It was a weekend packed with booze, friends, working and fest.
Friday (after a 12 hour day!) we finally made it back to Parnell’s. Life got in the way and we missed our friends there. We also missed their perfect pours. We were there to send off a coworker. The Uinta SUM’R Ale is delicious. If you are in Cleveland Hts or Downtown stop at one of them.
Drink and be merry.
Saturday I worked (covering for a friend) and it was busy. From there we headed over to the Romanian Fest at St. Mary’s. It had been too long since I had seen Rizza. We drank all manner of beers (Romanian, Croatian and Slovakian) I took only one picture:
That is Kevin pointing his inflatable American Flag Gun at me. He essentially paid five dollars for it. There were booths with carnival games set up. To win it he had to play two games (five bucks) and literally just put this giant ball in a giant basket. He had to throw it but you stood right next to it.
What is more Romanian than an inflatable American Flag gun?
We listened to traditional Romanian music. Like whatever that selfie song was. We watched older woman go to town in a dance circle that kept encroaching our talking area. We thought about starting a competing circle but didn’t. There were plenty of full track suits there and in the bathroom some old guy said something to me in a language I don’t know and shook my hand.
I’m probably a made man in the Romanian mafia now.
The beer was tasty but I forgot to try a pastry. Back at Rizza’s there were shenanigans and fireball whisky shots. The next day I had to work but had no coffee.
NONE.
It was terrible.
After work on Sunday the Three Shillelagh’s walked over to Little Italy for the Feast of the Assumption. I was a mess after 6 straight days of work and 36 hours of standing over 4 days. I was in not the greatest of moods but hopefully the other shillelaghs enjoyed the feast.
Way back in August (that really seems far away) my birthday rolled around. It turns out the Miami Marlins were playing the pirates in Pittsburgh on my birthday. The rest of the shillelaghs were on board to come with. We decided to make it a day and then stay the night at a cheap motel and leave in the morning.
It was a beautiful Tuesday. We started the same as all our roadies: with a trip to Luna Bakery Café. It’s a tradition and delicious. On our way we still hadn’t decided where we were going to hit up once there. It was a safe bet it’d be art related. There’s the Warhol museum, the toonseum (cartoon museum–visit it’s awesome!) I’ve never been to the Carnegie Museum of art so it seemed the logical choice but that’s not how we roll. We did a simple equation:
August 6th is jimi’s birthday x August 6th is Warhol’s birthday = going to the Warhol.
We had been to the Warhol before but it had been a while. There were a bunch of different things and many more ways to interact. One way was doing your own screen test.
From the Warhol museum:
Warhol’s Screen Tests, which number approximately 500, are revealing portraits of hundreds of different individuals, shot between 1964 and 1966. The subjects are both regulars of the Factory scene and new visitors—both famous and anonymous. They were all asked to pose to be captured by Warhol’s stationary 16mm Bolex movie camera on silent, black and white, 100-foot rolls of film. Each screen test was exactly the same length, lasting only as long as the roll of film, about 2 ¾ minutes. The resulting films were projected in slow motion so that each lasted approximately four minutes. For exhibition, Warhol strung the Screen Tests together in a sequence, inducing an almost hypnotic reverie that could “help the audiences get more acquainted with themselves,” as he once said.
You know the shillelaghs weren’t going to pass that up. Watch below for some silent, black and white awkwardness.
Oh, hello there. I didn’t see you come in. The weekend came and went like a flash. I worked both Saturday and Sunday because I apparently don’t like having days off. Well, it was mostly that I like having money. I like money and because saddle shoes are so damn expensive, but that story is for another time.
I’m hard at work on finishing Eating Yogurt with a Fork (poetry chapbook).
Did you know I tumble now?
Yes, I’m quite clumsy. Actually you can find my poetry, news about it and all sorts of weird silly inspirational shiz over at my Tumblr page: Love is a donkey.
A few things to come: a review of the newest Les Robert’s book and something about the ‘Play Me, I’m Yours’ street pianos project.
Today however we have serious business to cover. We all know that Sir Patrick Stewart is totally awesome. It’s just a fact. Jimi fun fact #231: If you say something bad about Patrick Stewart he will pummel* you.
*not like you very much.
AnyMakeItSo his awesome is much documented. Did you know he was a time traveler? Well, ancient astronaut theorists believe the proof just may be at the Cleveland Museum of Art. I was walking through the gallery keeping the Renaissance galleries safe and sound. I came upon “Pier Francesco Visconti,Court of Saliceto, Adoring the Christ Child” marble from 1484. It’s a marble sculpture by workshop of Benedetto Briosco and Tomaso Cazzaniga. I gave it a once over with my keen detective’s eye and had to stop.
I looked again.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard himself?! Need proof?
Bam!
Patrick Stewart is a time traveling bad ass.
Or Cazzaniga or Briosco/workshop are time travelers who happen to be Star Trek TNG fans.
The only thing we know for sure is I’d probably make out with Patrick Stewart if he asked me to. Wait, what?
1. what me creating poetry at work looks like.
2. Snicker-doodle yogurt from Menchies w/ Cap’n Crunch & Fruity Pebbles on top.
3. Me dressed for Bal Ingenieux to support Ingenuity Fest
4. The wifebot and I (with whiskey I brought in my flask) at Bal Ingenieux
5. Chilling with The Flash at Comics are Go on free comic book day.
1. Swiss chard and sweet potato gratin made by the wifebot.
2. Starbucks Refresher: Raspberry Pomegranate. Made w/ green coffee bean extract.
3. The wifey in her newly made doily hoodie.
4. Soccer ball bank. Columbus Crew ticket seed money?
5. Glitter Easter egg that a coworker gave me. I’m not sure why.
6. Heart shaped bird poo.
7. Godzilla at Big Fun.
8. Note to self on left over Animal Frites from Greenhouse Tavern
9. Bombshell Blonde Ale at Greenhouse Tavern 10. Coventry Arch
Recently I decided to undertake the task of cataloging all of our books. I’ve created one big spreadsheet and began listing them. I’m taking my time doing this and I’m on about book 327 or so. Part way through this I realized if I put it on Google Docs than I’d have access to the list wherever I go.
Sweet.
I’ve accumulated more than a few doubles because I wasn’t sure if I owned a specific book. It would happen something like this:
(Inside a thrift store I slowly search the bookshelves. I spot something interesting. I peer around and creep closer. When old person comes up to the books I shove them down and kick them to make sure they can’t grab the book. I pick it up.)
Me: Damn this is only 50 cents! Oh wait do I have this? I can’t remember I don’t think I do. I’m not sure though.
Old person on floor: I think I broke my hip.
Me: Shut up! (Kick them.) Shit it’s only 50 cents and I don’t think I have it. Maybe Sillie will know…no she’s not going to know…I can’t not buy it…what if I don’t have it…you know?
Broken hip: I’m in so much pain.
Me: It’s always about you!
(Stepping on their spine I walk past them.)
Then I get home and see I do own the book.
“Damn you thrift store and your alluring 50 cent book siren song you’ve bashed my ship along your rocky walls once again!”
AnyFakeViolenceAgainstOldPeople as I was cataloging the books I came across my copy of Richard Bachman’s The Regulators. Many of you may know this actually a book written by Stephen King. Now King is probably my favorite modern day writer. I’ve read every one of his books, and when I was young he inspired/influenced my writing.
I flipped open the book and admired the autograph in it.
Why did I get a book he wrote under a different name signed? Well, it was the book I was reading at the time or perhaps was literally just purchased.
(This happened way back like in 1997 so let the fuzzy details stay that way!)
If I was to do it over I’d probably get The Stand or The Gunslinger which are my favorites.
Stephen King (along with it seems a billion other writers) formed a rock band named The Rock Bottom Remainders. I mean this is the list of authors who’ve played in the band at some point:
Dave Barry, Stephen King, Amy Tan, Maya Angelou, Cynthia Heimel, Kathi Kamen Goldmark, Sam Barry, Ridley Pearson, Scott Turow, Joel Selvin, James McBride, Mitch Albom, Roy Blount Jr., Barbara Kingsolver, Robert Fulghum, Matt Groening, Tad Bartimus, Greg Iles
Well it turned out they were playing the Miami Book Fair and would include Dave Barry (hilarious) and King. My sister Lisa who is oft the catalyst of my good times took me. I brought (or bought??) the book with the hopes of being able to grab an autograph. They played (and you know were decent for authors who wish they were rockers.) and then he disappeared into the back.
A large crowd lined the barrier and bulged. He reemerged and began signing books. After being pushed over to the crowd I waited and waited. Finally he made his way to me and bam Stephen Mother fucking King stood in front of me.
Now these days I’ve met a bunch of people and writers that I admire. I’ve spent time with some and talked and asked questions and it was fun. This however went more like this:
STEPHEN KING is standing in front of me. Angels were probably singing and I believe there was a bright aura shining around him. He grabs my book.
King: Hey buddy what’s your name?
Me: ….
King: Who would you like me to sign it to?
Me: ….
King: ….
Me: ….
King: ….
My sister is poking me in the back at this point.
Me: Oh uh…uh..uh..James.
King: Great.
Finally I’m getting around to posting this. Way back on June 4th I had the privilege of being part of a Books for Bloggers event. It was held at Visible Voice Books in Tremont and allowed an intimate conversation between Cleveland bloggers and Cleveland mystery writer, Les Roberts.
When I received the email invitation I was excited. It allowed for me to bring a guest and I chose my lovely Wifebot, who of course could have attended as a local blogger herself.
A little bit of honesty time. When I first move to Cleveland way back in 2002 someone suggested I read one of the books in Les Robert’s Cleveland series. It went something like this:
Person: Hey yo you’re into writing and new to Cleveland. There is like this author who writes mysteries set in Cleveland.*
(*Nowhere near how it happened.)
I looked up the name and picked the first book in the series—Pepper Pike. I read it pretty fast and really liked it. I decided right than that I was going to get to know Milan Jacovich real well, but you know things come up. I hadn’t read another in the series since. I sort of forgot all about it until I received the email.
The event was to promote his new book, The Cleveland Creep and was sponsored by Roberts’ publisher Gray & Company.
Les met with us in Visible Voice Books’ quaint upstairs meeting room. I was happy to see the room because I’ve been considering it for a reading of one my plays.
(More on that later bitches!)
It was intimate and the author easily fell into a back and forth conversation. It wasn’t long before he was weaving story after story for us, and it felt like we were all old friends. He (obviously) can really tell a story. It was interesting to hear about how Cleveland grew on him and you could tell the love he had for the city.
The meet and greet was very lighthearted and filled with humor. He answered questions and signed the books.
(Free bitches!)
I was happy to meet @ADHicken who I’d enjoyed on the twitter.
(Wait that didn’t come out right.)
(T.W.S.S)
(Not her but you know the royal her–nevermind!)
Roberts’ has lived in both Chicago and L.A. but fell in love with Cleveland and couldn’t leave. He’s lived here 21 years and tells how the city has influenced him and his writing. When asked about what needs to be done for the future growth of the city his first reaction was said with humor and care:
“Oh Boy”
After a chuckle he dove into what he felt needed to be done. I snagged this from TimZaun.com because it was a little more thorough than my notes. His site is a very good read. He snapped the picture above too (Hooray for lazy jimi!)
• We need to stop the brain drain of Cleveland’s upcoming talent-young residents or transplants, choosing to be educated here; and then leaving town for larger, more progressive cities.
• Government needs to make it easier for businesses to locate here with tax incentives, etc.
• Officials who embody the “What’s in it for me?” mentality need to be replaced with individuals committed to helping Cleveland thrive.
• We need more writers to promote Cleveland’s assets.
The Cleveland Creep is Roberts’ 25th book and more importantly 15th featuring Cleveland private eye Milan Jacovich. I will have a longer review up soon but I will say that it is an excellent read. Once you talk to him it is hard to hear his voice as you read. It was near me and I opened it up just to read the first few pages and was instantly hooked. The story is a fast and smooth read. The book is filled with some wonderful prose. Jacovich’s humor and love for Cleveland mirrors that of Roberts. There is a tinge of sadness to the pages as the Cleveland private eye deals with age and loss. This only adds to the gritty realism and edge the series has.
Les Roberts will return in 2012 with Whiskey Island. The story will revolve around a Cleveland city councilman—who is corrupt—sound familiar?
I fully intended to start this post with a short little poem—one that would be purposefully bad—and my own vague tribute to Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. There is a scene in which Will Scarlett (Christian Slater) calls out a rhyme to Robin Hood.
Will Scarlett: There was a rich man from Nottingham/ who tried to cross a river/ what a dope/ he tripped on a rope/ now look at him shiver.
My intention was to write a short poem similar to what is above. It would explain the mistake I made about a submission deadline. It was bad (and slightly amusing) but I just could not bring myself to put it up here. I couldn’t take the chance someone (and there are always a few) who would think it was an honest attempt. They’d come away from here thinking I’m a bad poet.
(Shut up.)
So scratch that. No bad poem for you all. To forget about the big blunder I’ll post about Sleepaway Camp If you haven’t seen it you really should. It is an awesome piece of 80’s slasher goodness. It was made in 1983 (the slasher boom period) and is considered a cult classic. It is written, directed and produced by Robert Hiltzik—who basically has the only surviving reel. The film is the typical slasher flick about teen campers getting killed at a summer camp.
(The ending however is often listed as one of the most shocking.)
Last Saturday night I had the pleasure of seeing this movie on the big screen. I’ve seen it many times but never in a theatre (as I was 5 when it first came out.) Big props to Cleveland Cinemas Late Shift and Dave for the big (and hard) get.
(Also that’s what she said!)
It was awesome seeing it on the big screen and with so many people who had never experienced it in any form. If you’re near Cleveland you should check out the Late Shift movie series sometime. The movies are bad, awesome, sometimes awesomely bad, cheesy, fan favorites and cult classics of all kinds.
The late shift is held twice a month. The Cedar Lee Theatre hosts it the first Saturday of every month with shows 9:30 and midnight. On the third Saturday of the month it switches over to the Capitol Theatre with a midnight showing.
Then you throw in the Melt Bar and Grilled sponorship and it gets even better. How? Melt often has a movie themed sandwich for the weekend of the showing. For instance The Camp Melt Bloody Smores Sandwich:
Graham cracker, homemade creamy marshmellow, Hershey’s milk chocolate,mixed berry preserves, sweet cream cheese, dusted with cocoa powder, powdered sugar and add homemade peanut butter!
The cost is 5 bucks and the movies are always fun. They give away goofy prizes (related to the movies) and there’s always a way to get some free popcorn (again related to the movies).
Posted by ClevelandPoet 
From the cheap seats 