the one with frowning

August 26, 2014

Friday nights can be interesting at a museum. No, not because something like Night at the Museum happens.

(I wish I had 50 bucks for every time I was asked that.)
(I get asked it a lot!)

It’s fun to play spot the awkward first date night. Friday nights the people to have more of an energy than other nights. This lends itself to a little more snark than usual as well. I don’t mind this too much as long as it’s good-natured. I can give it as good as I take it. Last Friday:


A woman is in the gallery looking up at one of our Alexander Calder pieces. Alexander Calder was a sculptor best known for the mobile. /End Art Lesson. We have two mobiles out. The two are about 2 rooms apart. She stood under the second one. I walk in.

her: I blew on the first one and got it to move. let’s see if I can do it to this one.
me: actually that is rather frowned upon.
her: just frowned?
me: you wouldn’t like me when I’m frowning.


Next thing I remember is waking up wearing torn purple pants on.

best of overheardohio Nov-Jan

February 17, 2014


I’ve been slacking on the best of @Overheardohio. Me slacking on this is a big shock to all (one) of you huh? With that in mind (and since January only had 3—though they were pretty funny) I give you a top three for the months of November, December and January.

Honorable mention:

“my mom saw the text where I told my girlfriend I wanted to put pudding on her.”-high schooler @McDonalds

Now my picks for best.

3.  “It would be sweet to be jesus. Your parents could never get too mad at you. You’d be mom cut me some slack I’m going to be crucified”

2.   Older lady “you’re nuttier than a pet sandsquatch” guy: “a what?” Older lady “a pet sandsquatch…you know a Bigfoot”


1.  “You know I’m straight & godly but if my husband’s secretary wanted to have sex I’d let her lesbian me up”–woman drinking a giant margarita

Have any favorites? If in Ohio make sure to follow @overheardohio and send in what you hear. If you don’t live here follow and enjoy.

The one where I inadvertently come out of the closet

December 16, 2013

First a little bit of back story. I’ve talked more than a few times about how much I watch wrestling. I believe this is how this initially came about and if it didn’t well maybe I am….

AnyRepressedSexuality my sister was visiting and as we lazed about I put on WWE Smackdown. Now there is a wrestler who when a heel (bad guy) I enjoy. His name is Alberto Del Rio. He plays a heelish, pompous Mexican aristocrat. The story in my head goes my sister made a comment about him being attractive. The wifebot was not onboard. I chimed in with

“Come on Alberto Del Rio is a pretty good looking man.”

If that really isn’t how it started and I simply blurted that out well Lucy gots some splaining to do…

Flash forward to every SINGLE time he would come on the tee vee the wifebot would say “here comes your boyfriend.” Or some variation of that and I’d reply “always with the gay jokes.”

FLASH FORWARD to last week.

I’m watching some wrassling and out strolls ADR. He’s wearing his traditional long black scarf (and he previously would come out with a long white one.) What happens next was pretty funny. The part in parenthesis is what I had heard.

Me: I need a fancy shmancy long scarf.
wifebot: what are you talking about?
me: one of those long fancy scarves.
wifebot: (like his white one) Like your boyfriend’s?
me: yeah!

Her eyes get big, as does her smile. We look at one another.


me: wait did you say boyfriend?

I will never here the end of this. He is pretty handsome.


Post it note Tuesday: once more with feeling

December 3, 2013

Way back in the day I took part in something called Post it Note Tuesday. That sort of fell to the wayside and not just on my part. It turns out that people were clamoring for witty internet made sticky notes from yours truly. So back by popular demand post it note Tuesday.

Uh hello?

Okay fine it’s just back. Mostly because the Rizza said she missed them and I figured it’s an easy way to keep my lazy self posting. You can make your own here.

rejection letters

Last week I got 5 rejection letters. 2 of the 5 letters came on the same day.


Yeah that was an emo jimi day.



I saw a posting for making your very own Lando Calrissian moustaches. I’ve now set a new goal for making Lando staches and going around Landorizing peoples and places.

don't know Lando

He is a charming mustachioed hero!


Awesome hoodie. See yesterday’s post.


First Katy Perry and this little girl tried. (I barely even noticed Katy’s boobs) and then my coworker on his last night comes over and says “Keep writing that wonderful poetry and stay creative.” Come on people!

the one with spider-man

December 2, 2013

So my awesome sister flew up from Florida last week. She apparently brought the snow with her. The temp dropped and the snow fell basically as soon as she landed and on her last day we warmed up (you know to a warm upper 30’s.) It was awesome to have her up here for her birthday and then Thanksgiving.

This could be a post about family, or Thanksgiving or what I’m thankful for but it isn’t. It’s about the awesomeness that is this:


And the added awesomeness of the different reactions it gets. My sister pretty much gave it to me the moment we walked in our door. I of course immediately put it on. Despite the fact that it was probably (slightly) above hoodie weather I wore it out that night. Where to? A special church Thanksgiving dinner that we were guilt tripped invited to attend by her sister. Now we are not church goers but have no problem with churchies—I mean people who attend church.

Me being me I wore it to the dinner. I walked in with it all the way up and the looks were amazing. I’m not a total dick so I unzipped it soon after entering. Then the looks were probably who the heck are these guys but everyone was nice. I left the hood up. The hoodie being up cause the awesome half Peter Parker half Spidey look the comic uses a lot.



On the street I wore it fully zipped but added some pretend web slinging/shooting at buildings and people.


Spidey what’s up?
What the fuck?
Did he just throw something?
A couple people in starbucks tried to snap pics.

The other day I came into work with it fully up and started to unzip it as two managers walked down the hall.

one: Oh it’s Remick.
two: Like you really needed to ask who it was?

I guess since my sister gave it to me this post was about family and what I’m thankful for.


the one with a screen test

September 30, 2013

Way back in August (that really seems far away) my birthday rolled around. It turns out the Miami Marlins were playing the pirates in Pittsburgh on my birthday. The rest of the shillelaghs were on board to come with. We decided to make it a day and then stay the night at a cheap motel and leave in the morning.

It was a beautiful Tuesday. We started the same as all our roadies: with a trip to Luna Bakery Café. It’s a tradition and delicious. On our way we still hadn’t decided where we were going to hit up once there. It was a safe bet it’d be art related. There’s the Warhol museum, the toonseum (cartoon museum–visit it’s awesome!) I’ve never been to the Carnegie Museum of art so it seemed the logical choice but that’s not how we roll. We did a simple equation:

August 6th is jimi’s birthday x August 6th is Warhol’s birthday = going to the Warhol.

We had been to the Warhol before but it had been a while. There were a bunch of different things and many more ways to interact. One way was doing your own screen test.

From the Warhol museum:

Warhol’s Screen Tests, which number approximately 500, are revealing portraits of hundreds of different individuals, shot between 1964 and 1966. The subjects are both regulars of the Factory scene and new visitors—both famous and anonymous. They were all asked to pose to be captured by Warhol’s stationary 16mm Bolex movie camera on silent, black and white, 100-foot rolls of film. Each screen test was exactly the same length, lasting only as long as the roll of film, about 2 ¾ minutes. The resulting films were projected in slow motion so that each lasted approximately four minutes. For exhibition, Warhol strung the Screen Tests together in a sequence, inducing an almost hypnotic reverie that could “help the audiences get more acquainted with themselves,” as he once said.

You know the shillelaghs weren’t going to pass that up. Watch below for some silent, black and white awkwardness.

Cupids, Cigars, and Meat or a weekend recap

April 29, 2013


Hopefully you’ve stopped reading after that painful intro. There really isn’t all that much to read. Saturday we spent most of the day at home. There was one executive decision made: Dandelion wine will be made this year. I looked up recipes and everything. Hell, I pinned something on Pinterest. The goal is to start now and let it sit for a year. This time next year I’ll be sipping Dandelion wine while reading Dandelion wine.

Ray Bradbury is so thug life.

At some point the wife’s mom stopped over to help us with our garden. There are lots of things popping up. Hyacinths, Grape Hyacinths, Roses, Tulips and more! We are very excited but also have no clue what we are doing. But we’re trying Ringo.

Yeah vague Pulp Fiction reference!

Eventually we headed off. First stop was Pelvic Joann’s. Then we headed to Ohio City Burrito because we were all starving. There Kat did the weird thing of ordering chips but no salsa or even Guacamole.


Next was the ever awesome West Side Market. It’s always such a fun, colorful time there. I’ve managed to resist the urge to mess with them as they carnival bark out to you. There’s a vendor there named Jim’s Meats. Which lead to this:

Wifey: Heh. Jim’s meats.
Me: Don’t worry you’ll load up on Jimi’s meat later.
Wifey: Really?

Next up was the Thrift Store. I was good (Read: boring) and only looked for work stuff.

Okay I looked for a tweed jacket. I always do.  No luck but there was this:

photo (7)

Then we went to Cigar Cigars in Ohio City. I needed to pick up a reward cigar. Why? Well, because my play was picked to be in a play festival. I found out about a line of cigars named Hemingway. Those seemed like the clear choice.  They’re made by Arturo Fuente Cigar Company. Luckily they had some. So I picked up The AF Hemingway Short Story and their Flor Fina 8-5-8 Maduro.


Can you guess which one is the short story?

Sunday was filled with work and steak. I really do love my job but there is one gallery that makes me think twice about it. That is the early European: French/Dutch galleries. I dig the stuff in them. It has to do with the sensors around the art and MOSTLY the dummies that set them off. OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER—Sorry. I of course was in those galleries Sunday. It was getting bad when this happened.

A kid about 7 years old came into the gallery with his parents. As he looked at the art he slowly started giving them all the stink eye. Then he saw “Cupids in Conspiracy.”



And said:  “This place is disgusting, look at those butts.”

Needless to say it helped me get through the day. I had hoped to see The Rizza that night but fate intervened. There was plenty of delicious food made by the wifey.


Balsamic steak wraps and mashed potatoes. YUM! How was your weekend?

the one with monsters

August 16, 2012

At the museum one gets to hear a lot of things.

Like this one time a strange fellow was telling people about Patty Picasso. Some of the things aren’t so fun. For instance a dad saying to his teen daughter:

“pay attention to this stuff because this is real art unlike writing.”

This isn’t one of the bad ones though. This one has monsters. The night was slowing down and the galleries were emptying. The main doors to the first floor galleries opened up slowly. Then it stopped. A kid of about 6 or so stood there. Half in and half out. Frozen. There was a look of complete horror on his face.

(Don’t even make the joke. I was off in the corner and he didn’t see me.)

Meanwhile he’s trying to back up. His mom would not let him. He’s starting to whine. “Go in honey” she says. “Nooooo” he starts to push back. “Monsters” he yells. She pushes him in and he yells “There are monsters!”

She gets down on one knee to explain to him that there aren’t monsters in here. He’s looking at me now and I’m thinking make a scary face at him. I don’t do it though.

(Wouldn’t be too hard to make a scary face.)
(shut up.)

“There are No monsters in here honey” she says calmly. “None?” He looks at me. I whisper “Yes there are” I smile reassuringly. He’s calm now. They walk around a bit. It turns out he WANTS to see some monsters. I’m not sure his definition of a monster because I’m pretty sure he was pointing at a spoon. Whatever.  They peruse the galleries and end up in the early Christian stuff.

As they start to exit the mom asks what his favorite “monster” was. He says that one and points.

This is what it was:

Icon of the Mother of God and Infant Christ (Virgin Eleousa)


And then this happened:

Mom: Honey that isn’t a monster that is Jesus.
Kid: He’s the scariest one of all.

And then lightning struck and we all died. Or I hoped they’d leave the gallery so I could laugh.

hey there Monet have you seen Manet?

May 21, 2012

Just a few things. Some (mostly those who are friends with me over on the facespacebook) may have seen these. Worth sharing here because art trickery had been slow.

And then this happened:

(2 guys are talking near a Monet and Manet paintings. I walk past.)
guy 1: can you settle something for us?
guy 2: he says Manet is just a diff way to spell Monet. They’re different people right?
me: you’re both sort of right. There’s a controversial theory that Monet was Manet.
guy 2: what?
me: Monet was Manet just with a fake moustache and a fake scar.
guy 1: That can’t be real
guy 2: Is it?
me: Google a book From Monet to Manet and the madness in between.
guy 1: wow.
guy 2: that is freaking cool.


Oh and also this:


(two visitors walk in and see Portrait of Jean Terford David)

visitor 1: is that napoleon?
visitor 2: looks like him but probably not.
me: you both are sort of right. it is napoleon’s twin brother. yapoleon.
visitor 1: i didn’t know he had a twin!
visitor 2: that is a weird name.


Oh and then:

Visitor: Where do you have the impressionist.
me: actually…our Director has never been a fan of the impressionist and so he’s been trying to weed them out for awhile.
visitor: how can he not like the impressionist?
me: I know? He’s traded them all for like one Goya. It’s not even a good Goya.
visitor: What? That isn’t possible. A museum wouldn’t do it.
visitor: would they?
me: no you’re looking for gallery 222
visitor: Had me worried.

Conversations with jimi: my hot cousin edition

February 22, 2012

We just have a quick one today kiddies. At first I was going to save this for the next conversations with jimi but it really deserves its own spot.

(A very attractive woman walks out of a gallery and through the one I’m in. A mere seconds later the guard from that gallery walks in to mine.)

Guard: Did you see that smoking hot chick?

Me: Oh man the one in blue with the big cans?

Guard: Yeah!

Me (As he mimics big boobs): Dude that was my cousin!

Guard: Oh sorry.

Me: Nah don’t worry about it. Hell I’d hit that every day.

Guard: What the hell? Your cousin? That’s sick.

%d bloggers like this: