the one with snowshoes

February 9, 2015

This was going to be a post about how happy I am with where I’m at in terms of my health and running. Then I saw the last real post (which was like a million years ago) was also about running. I though “am I really blogging about running Jimi now?” At least the post was funny.

Pants falling down always is.

AnyButtShowing the happy with my progress post will come another day. About this time last year I got serious about leading a healthier life. I had done yoga sporadically. I’d done DDP YOGA even more but it was in February last year I got serious. Serious and consistent. One of the other things I wanted to work on was being open to doing more things. As a poet and a playwright I like to be alone. It just comes with the territory. My problem was (is) that I’m often uncomfortable in situations and I let that dictate what I do.  The biggest problem I have with this is how it might hinder the wifebot’s fun. One of the things I love and admire about her is her willingness to put herself out there and try things.

This is not my style.

The point? I’m trying to do interesting things more often. I’m challenging myself more. Some ways are small (most of them are really). It’s why I’ve been a part of the Open Mic nights at Loganberry books for over a year now. It’s why when the wife wanted to go sledding this Florida raised dude went hurtling down a hill.

(On what is essentially just a trashcan lid)

I did this even though she suggested it to me after I had shoveled snow for an hour. The Shillelaghs like to make plans. There was a time where we would make a ton of plans and not really get through them all. Now? Now, the Shillelaghs destroy plans. We create and smash coffee tours. Lindsay creates seasonal bucket lists that we in turn attempt to help her crush.

<s>sledding</s>

Up next was snowshoeing (not officially placed on the list). Snowshoeing? Get the heck out of here with that. I mean I stumble around in snow all winter trying to get to the bus/work. Why would I or anyone want to? Right?

(Don’t be stupid!)
(Sorry I’ve not had breakfast today)

First the wifebot and I had to get our run in. It was technically week 7 day 3 of Couch to 5k. This called for a five minute warm up walk and then 25 straight minutes of running. I nailed it ending with 2 miles of running. Wait this isn’t about running!

(Damn you running!)

After a shower and a change we headed off to the winter sports center in the beautiful Cuyahoga Valley National Park. There we rented some snowshoes (only 5 bucks) and were shown how to wear and use them. We headed over to the Oak Hill Trail because it was a more moderate trail to do.  This was our first time and we speculated on who would be the first to fall.

There were no falls. The Shillelaghs win this round snow.  What was there?

Awesome conversations.

Pretty sights:

oakhilltrail

Poetic reflection:

poetsnoeshowing

 

And of course we stopped someone so we could have this (Lindsay’s photo):

shillelaghssnowshoeing

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the one with an island

August 25, 2014

The weekend has come and gone quickly once again. When one of the weekend days always involves being at work the weekend will go fast. Oh well. I was happy that we managed to get some DDP Yoga in on both nights. Sunday I was at work all day. It went pretty smooth and I met some first time visitors who were awesome.

Saturday was packed though. It was time for our yearly trip to Put In Bay. We started off with breakfast at Luna Bakery Café. This is where every roadie big or small starts. If you’re in Cleveland (and especially Cleveland Hts) get there. They are singlehandedly to blame for my recent obsession with making homemade granola. Then off to PIB and coming up with a name for it. Last year it was The Three Shillelaghs Naughty Nautical Adventures.

This year it was The Three Shillelaghs Naughty Nautical Adventures: The Second one. (Sharknado 2 reference bitches)

Amazingly and unplanned we ended up going on Commodore Perry’s birthday. OHP as we Shillelaghs (Kat, Linzi) call him. He is an honorary member of the Shillelaghs (along with NPH and Rivers Cuomo). We made it over to the island and stopped to get our golf cart.

(How else would we tool around the island?)

We were assigned Darth Vader. Everything was coming up Shillelaghs!

It was the SLOWEST cart ever….

There were musket demonstrations.
There was carronade firing demonstration:

photo (22)

 

It was awesome and loud. The wifebot managed to (mostly) get a video of it while she plugged her ears. Check that out here.

As if all that wasn’t cool enough: OHP was in the house.

OHP! Everything was definitely coming up Shillelaghs.

This guy:

photo 1

 

There was an actual person there playing the role of Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry. He was a Professor who researched/created a one man show. He was pretty awesome. I regret that we didn’t manage to get a picture with him.

How does that happen?

We headed up Perry’s Victory and International Peace Memorial. It sure is pretty up there. From there we can see all the islands the Shillelaghs own. I think this year we made it a goal to hang out on Starve (island) at some point.

Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Here is a photo of me trying out my poet’s gaze on the monument (Walden filter):

 

photo (23)

Looking pretty fit, no? And check out that rad beard.

Of course we had to head to Key West and get some fruity girly drinks. I had something called a bushwacker

(bow chikka bow wow)

Then a not so proud moment happened. As we walked to The Round House bar a woman face planted right in front of me. Now before I could even think to help her I swerved right around her and kept on going. What a gentlemen.  #JimiFail

(Yeah I used a hashtag.)

We ended up going to the Beer Barrel Saloon. Because if the shillelaghs are going to go to a bar it better be the longest bar. Here we (wifebot and I) had an Electric Lemonade Bucket. It looked like this:

photo 2 (1)

 

It was like blueberry vodka, blue Curaçao, lemonade, and something else. It was terrible.

 

TERRIBLE.

 

I’ll sum up the trip with some more photos.

 

photo 1 (2)

photo 3

photo 2

 

Hope you’re weekend was fun.

 


best of overheardohio Nov-Jan

February 17, 2014

ohiosaywhat2

I’ve been slacking on the best of @Overheardohio. Me slacking on this is a big shock to all (one) of you huh? With that in mind (and since January only had 3—though they were pretty funny) I give you a top three for the months of November, December and January.

Honorable mention:

“my mom saw the text where I told my girlfriend I wanted to put pudding on her.”-high schooler @McDonalds

Now my picks for best.

3.  “It would be sweet to be jesus. Your parents could never get too mad at you. You’d be mom cut me some slack I’m going to be crucified”

2.   Older lady “you’re nuttier than a pet sandsquatch” guy: “a what?” Older lady “a pet sandsquatch…you know a Bigfoot”

And:

1.  “You know I’m straight & godly but if my husband’s secretary wanted to have sex I’d let her lesbian me up”–woman drinking a giant margarita

Have any favorites? If in Ohio make sure to follow @overheardohio and send in what you hear. If you don’t live here follow and enjoy.


the one where I don’t talk about oral over dinner

July 24, 2013

It’s hard out there for a pimp, I mean poet. Okay, not really (besides the whole no money part of it.) I’m currently working on finishing up a book of poetry. A self published book of poetry. It’s probably a lot easier (the self publishing part that is) than I feel like it is or am making it.

So-Dumb

I’m working hard on that. I’m waiting on the wifebot to draw me something for the cover. Go shame her on her blog or Twitter about it. The staff art show is coming up, and I’m probably going to do a reading for the opening reception. I wasn’t sure about it, but more than a few coworkers have asked me if I was and expressed seemingly genuine happiness with my deciding to do it.

They like me. They really like me!

So I’m trying to scrounge up some poems to be read and hope to have the book ready so I can be all “buy this bitches!” Well, minus the bitches part or at the very least the exclamation point. Also I’m trying to get my shit together and work with local galleries to put together some readings and etc.

So there is some weird stuff happening in my head.

(Yeah, yeah, what else is new?)

Most of the stories I see in my head, I see as a play—on stage—or they bounce together as a poem. Lately though I’ve seen more of these flashes manifesting themselves on canvas or similar. I’ve been getting the urge to do some mixed media collage type pieces, and I know they will suck and is probably lame to try but what the heck. I’ve told myself that I’m going to stop telling myself no and just do things. I got some cool stuff cooking for here too—like movie review haikus—but that’s coming soon.

The Ohio Blogging Association has many a Cleveland meet ups, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to attend them. I was happy to see that I could attend July’s. This time it was at Tremont Farmers’ Market. Despite some storms and hail, the day cleared up in time for us to walk and peruse the market.

There were all sorts of bread, veggies and awesome little shops. Then we came across POPSMITH (Farm to pop): offering flavors of seasonally changing ice-pops showcasing our region’s fruits and herbs. Kat and I gladly forked over the 3 bucks and shared a red raspberry/basil one.

redraspberry

See the enjoyment??

And as that took place we came upon: Gray House Pies!!! Why does that warrant exclamation points? Two words: Drunken Cherry Pie. Okay that was three; keep your math off my blog! A pie made with tart and sweet cherries and blended with bourbon.

BOURBON.

It lead to this text between the wifebot and Rizza:

And then this between the Rizza and me:

me: my mouth will make love to the pie does that count?
rizza: just don’t American Pie it?

I assured her that I didn’t get to my pudgy status wasting pie like that.

So yeah. We headed over to Lincoln Park Pub for Taco Tuesday. It was tasty and they have a delicious hot sauce called the morning after.

Get it because it is yum.

I’m not going to complain about good food and hanging with cool/lovely ladies. You can check out their blogs at Poise in Parma, Jam in cle, Why Cle, Dog in the Cle, Clue into Cleveland, The girl I mean to be

I was happy to meet some new people and see those I’ve met before. It’s fun to hang with local bloggers and talk about writing, Cleveland, blogs, social media and anything really. It does feel funny when the others can talk about serious topics or such interesting niches or how they promote Cleveland and then it can turn to me and I’m like “I blog about blow jobs gone wrong and how I trick people.”

Grades:

Tremont Farmers’ Market: 2 blowjobs gone wrong up
Taco Tuesday at Lincoln Park Pub: 2 blowjobs gone wrong up

I’m just kidding; that’s not how I grade things. It was a fun time with fun peeps. I hope it happens more and I’m def making a Taco Tuesday trip back there.

 
This time I’ll get the “Kill me now” hot sauce.

Conversations with Jimi: the return

October 15, 2012

Holy cow it has been a long time. Is this thing on? It has been a while and I’ve seen things man. I’ve seen some things! Really life just got in the way.

Bought a house. No big deal.
Read my poetry at the Museum. No big deal.

More on that in time. For now we make a triumphant return with an easy post. Conversations with Jimi!

Coworker: FDR American Badass?
Me: Yeah. Werewolf Mussolini was awesome.
Coworker: Mussolini is not awesome.
Me: If we can’t enjoy werewolf Mussolini we may as well just have lost the war.

*********************************************************************************

The wife laughs.
me: keep laughing right to divorce court. you’d be paying alimony.
her: hmmm
me: and i’d buy coke and whores with it.
her: rude.

**********************************************************************************

me: “what would you do or say if during sex I said I’m going to fuck you like you were the wife of bath”
@kittenkaboom: ….

************************************************************************************

visitor: where is Picasso?
me: Patty or Pablo?
visitor: wait, there is more than one?

*************************************************************************************

visitor: do you have an armory?
me: we have a small thing of weapons stashed away for the zombie apocalypse.
visitor: what? No I mean the knights and stuff.

*************************************************************************************

(Always asks but never waits for response)

construction worker: how are you doing?
me: fraggle rock
construction worker: good to hear

*************************************************************************************

coworker: name one universal fact.
me: Han shot first.
coworker: uhm…

*************************************************************************************

coworker (who heard I would be doing a poetry reading): “You write poetry?”
Me: “Nope I just read it.”
coworker: “Oh that’s kind of weird.”

*************************************************************************************

coworker: your (ninja turtle stocking cap) is awesome.
me: hell yeah it is. thanks. Have an awesome night!
coworker: is it angry birds?
me: oh. oh no. no no. (in my head) i rescind my wish for your awesome night. a pox on your house!

*************************************************************************************

visitor: (see’s my Capt. Kirk tie) Nice tie. Do you like Star Trek?
Me: No. I thought this was a MacGyver tie.
Visitor: Uhm…

*************************************************************************************

visitor: how are you today?
me: i’m fine and dandy like sour candy.
visitor: fine and dandy! You time travel from the past?
me: would it help if i told you my Delorean is parked outside?
visitor: i don’t get that so no.


best of overheardohio for April

May 3, 2012

Photobucket

Hooray it’s May! Here is the top 5 @overheardohio for the month of April.

First almost made the cut (and received a bunch of Retweets): “Your Father and I aren’t paying an arm and a leg to put you through college for you to earn spending money stripping.”

There were some good ones in April so don’t forget to go read them:

“If zombies smoked weed, we’re the fucking cheetos man.”

“I like my mens to be milk white. No white gangstas tho. If they gangsta I might as well date a black dude.”–Black girl on the bus.

“Mother I’m in my thirties I can enjoy looking at women.”-Guy at grocery store after checking out a woman.

“I’m quality. You the dollar store to my @walmart.”

“You can get a blow job or a birthday cake but not both tonight” – woman on cell phone.


Best overheardohio for March ’12

April 9, 2012

Time once again for the best Overheardohio. March provided quite a lot of them. Check them all out. Before we start we’ll give an honorable mention to one. This one is just too specific to Cleveland (and too funny) not to post.

Honorable mention:

“look at me I’m a CHEF! I do CHEF things. I’m so quirky & lovable! Please think I’m quirky. That’s my impression of Cleveland Chefs”

Ready for the top 5? Here we go:

“There’s a thunder storm brewing all right, it’s in your butt.”–woman to the man she was walking with.

“Come on feel them noids, girls ride your boys!”–Drunk Affliction guy butchering the lyrics to ‘Cum On Feel the Noize’

“Girl, I done told you to keep your hand out of your lady cave.”-woman to child with her hand in her pants.

Guy1: “Look how that one be sucking on that straw. MMMM girl.” Guy2: “That’s a dude.” 2 guys at McDonalds

And number one:

“This baby been nicer inside me. When you was in you were the worst. I wished I ended it sometimes” –Pregnant women to kid as they walked.


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