the one with fests

August 18, 2014

Today is Monday. I don’t hate Monday’s but that’s probably because it is essentially a weekend day for me. The thing that sucks for me is the wife is stuck at work so it’s a missed opportunity

For sexy time

The danger in Monday is if it isn’t productive writing wise it sours rather quickly. This weekend sped by helped by the fact that I worked both Saturday and Sunday. I apparently hate having a weekend. It was a weekend packed with booze, friends, working and fest.

Friday (after a 12 hour day!) we finally made it back to Parnell’s. Life got in the way and we missed our friends there. We also missed their perfect pours. We were there to send off a coworker. The Uinta SUM’R Ale is delicious.  If you are in Cleveland Hts or Downtown stop at one of them.

Drink and be merry.

Saturday I worked (covering for a friend) and it was busy. From there we headed over to the Romanian Fest at St. Mary’s. It had been too long since I had seen Rizza. We drank all manner of beers (Romanian, Croatian and Slovakian) I took only one picture:




That is Kevin pointing his inflatable American Flag Gun at me. He essentially paid five dollars for it. There were booths with carnival games set up. To win it he had to play two games (five bucks) and literally just put this giant ball in a giant basket. He had to throw it but you stood right next to it.

What is more Romanian than an inflatable American Flag gun?

We listened to traditional Romanian music. Like whatever that selfie song was. We watched older woman go to town in a dance circle that kept encroaching our talking area. We thought about starting a competing circle but didn’t. There were plenty of full track suits there and in the bathroom some old guy said something to me in a language I don’t know and shook my hand.

I’m probably a made man in the Romanian mafia now.

The beer was tasty but I forgot to try a pastry. Back at Rizza’s there were shenanigans and fireball whisky shots. The next day I had to work but had no coffee.


It was terrible.

After work on Sunday the Three Shillelagh’s walked over to Little Italy for the Feast of the Assumption. I was a mess after 6 straight days of work and 36 hours of standing over 4 days. I was in not the greatest of moods but hopefully the other shillelaghs enjoyed the feast.

I hope to do it all again next year.

Well except the working both Saturday and Sunday.

And no coffee thing.

the one with muscles

June 30, 2014

On January 26th I decided to start taking being healthier seriously. It started with getting our pebbles from the clinic to track our steps/exercise. That’s why I know the date at least. I had been doing DDP YOGA off and on for years. Never too serious about it and would continually let things get in the way or derail me.

I asked for the DDP YOGA pack for Christmas and thanks to my Father in Law and Mother in Law I received it.

(I’m much too cheap to buy it myself)
(And lazy)

So January 26th I started my road to better health. I (we actually) have been eating better. It’s been hard—I love all things cookies—and could be better. I’m working on that. I’m proud at how we’ve cut out all fast food. Working till 9:30 twice a week made it easy to be lazy and just grab Wendy’s. We don’t do that anymore.

I do the DDP YOGA every day now. I’m down 20 pounds since I’ve started. I can touch my toes for the first time since probably middle school and I feel good. I can feel/see muscles I’m not sure I knew existed. Basically this is me now:


Okay so I’m not Ravishing Rick Rude….yet…

AnyPipeDream the point is I’ve been successful thus far but have a long way to go. I mentioned on twitter (so it makes it legal right?) that I would donate a dollar for every pound lost at the end of the year to the Cleveland Food Bank. An awesome guy said he would match so now I have triple motivation to lose.

I’ll need it.

Let’s get to the funny shall we? For that we go back to the muscles. There is a noticeable difference—only because I was a flabby girly man before. Recently this happened:

Scene: Morning. Our bedroom. The wifebot getting ready in front of the mirror. Me on the bed behind her.

Me (flexing and grabbing muscle): mmm LOOKITTHAT.
(She turns around probably smiling and sees me looking at my arm)

Her: I thought you were looking at my butt. I was going to say thanks but you’re there looking at your muscles.

We laughed and laughed. Being healthy brings marriages together.

best of overheardohio Nov-Jan

February 17, 2014


I’ve been slacking on the best of @Overheardohio. Me slacking on this is a big shock to all (one) of you huh? With that in mind (and since January only had 3—though they were pretty funny) I give you a top three for the months of November, December and January.

Honorable mention:

“my mom saw the text where I told my girlfriend I wanted to put pudding on her.”-high schooler @McDonalds

Now my picks for best.

3.  “It would be sweet to be jesus. Your parents could never get too mad at you. You’d be mom cut me some slack I’m going to be crucified”

2.   Older lady “you’re nuttier than a pet sandsquatch” guy: “a what?” Older lady “a pet sandsquatch…you know a Bigfoot”


1.  “You know I’m straight & godly but if my husband’s secretary wanted to have sex I’d let her lesbian me up”–woman drinking a giant margarita

Have any favorites? If in Ohio make sure to follow @overheardohio and send in what you hear. If you don’t live here follow and enjoy.

Conversations with Jimi 19: A family affair

February 3, 2014

Conversations with Jimi are generally a glimpse into the very odd place that is my mind. This edition is no different, except you get to delve into the hilarity that is our marriage too. This is a short one and I thought about holding off for TMI THURSDAY. I love this one because it shows how perfectly paired the wifebot and I are.

Set the scene: We were on the couch watching some TV. A commercial comes on for (I don’t even remember really) CSI or NCIS or CSI:NCIS:LMNOP or whatever.

I know it wasn’t NTSF:SD:SUV::

(that show is funny though)
(watch it)
(thank me later)

So this commercial comes on and it’s all dramatical and all.


Kat/Jimi (complete unison and both thrusting hands toward respective crotches): YEAH GOES DOWN!

It must be hard (yeah baby!) to see what we have and not be totes envious.

the one with spider-man

December 2, 2013

So my awesome sister flew up from Florida last week. She apparently brought the snow with her. The temp dropped and the snow fell basically as soon as she landed and on her last day we warmed up (you know to a warm upper 30’s.) It was awesome to have her up here for her birthday and then Thanksgiving.

This could be a post about family, or Thanksgiving or what I’m thankful for but it isn’t. It’s about the awesomeness that is this:


And the added awesomeness of the different reactions it gets. My sister pretty much gave it to me the moment we walked in our door. I of course immediately put it on. Despite the fact that it was probably (slightly) above hoodie weather I wore it out that night. Where to? A special church Thanksgiving dinner that we were guilt tripped invited to attend by her sister. Now we are not church goers but have no problem with churchies—I mean people who attend church.

Me being me I wore it to the dinner. I walked in with it all the way up and the looks were amazing. I’m not a total dick so I unzipped it soon after entering. Then the looks were probably who the heck are these guys but everyone was nice. I left the hood up. The hoodie being up cause the awesome half Peter Parker half Spidey look the comic uses a lot.



On the street I wore it fully zipped but added some pretend web slinging/shooting at buildings and people.


Spidey what’s up?
What the fuck?
Did he just throw something?
A couple people in starbucks tried to snap pics.

The other day I came into work with it fully up and started to unzip it as two managers walked down the hall.

one: Oh it’s Remick.
two: Like you really needed to ask who it was?

I guess since my sister gave it to me this post was about family and what I’m thankful for.


Cupids, Cigars, and Meat or a weekend recap

April 29, 2013


Hopefully you’ve stopped reading after that painful intro. There really isn’t all that much to read. Saturday we spent most of the day at home. There was one executive decision made: Dandelion wine will be made this year. I looked up recipes and everything. Hell, I pinned something on Pinterest. The goal is to start now and let it sit for a year. This time next year I’ll be sipping Dandelion wine while reading Dandelion wine.

Ray Bradbury is so thug life.

At some point the wife’s mom stopped over to help us with our garden. There are lots of things popping up. Hyacinths, Grape Hyacinths, Roses, Tulips and more! We are very excited but also have no clue what we are doing. But we’re trying Ringo.

Yeah vague Pulp Fiction reference!

Eventually we headed off. First stop was Pelvic Joann’s. Then we headed to Ohio City Burrito because we were all starving. There Kat did the weird thing of ordering chips but no salsa or even Guacamole.


Next was the ever awesome West Side Market. It’s always such a fun, colorful time there. I’ve managed to resist the urge to mess with them as they carnival bark out to you. There’s a vendor there named Jim’s Meats. Which lead to this:

Wifey: Heh. Jim’s meats.
Me: Don’t worry you’ll load up on Jimi’s meat later.
Wifey: Really?

Next up was the Thrift Store. I was good (Read: boring) and only looked for work stuff.

Okay I looked for a tweed jacket. I always do.  No luck but there was this:

photo (7)

Then we went to Cigar Cigars in Ohio City. I needed to pick up a reward cigar. Why? Well, because my play was picked to be in a play festival. I found out about a line of cigars named Hemingway. Those seemed like the clear choice.  They’re made by Arturo Fuente Cigar Company. Luckily they had some. So I picked up The AF Hemingway Short Story and their Flor Fina 8-5-8 Maduro.


Can you guess which one is the short story?

Sunday was filled with work and steak. I really do love my job but there is one gallery that makes me think twice about it. That is the early European: French/Dutch galleries. I dig the stuff in them. It has to do with the sensors around the art and MOSTLY the dummies that set them off. OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER—Sorry. I of course was in those galleries Sunday. It was getting bad when this happened.

A kid about 7 years old came into the gallery with his parents. As he looked at the art he slowly started giving them all the stink eye. Then he saw “Cupids in Conspiracy.”



And said:  “This place is disgusting, look at those butts.”

Needless to say it helped me get through the day. I had hoped to see The Rizza that night but fate intervened. There was plenty of delicious food made by the wifey.


Balsamic steak wraps and mashed potatoes. YUM! How was your weekend?

the one with monsters

August 16, 2012

At the museum one gets to hear a lot of things.

Like this one time a strange fellow was telling people about Patty Picasso. Some of the things aren’t so fun. For instance a dad saying to his teen daughter:

“pay attention to this stuff because this is real art unlike writing.”

This isn’t one of the bad ones though. This one has monsters. The night was slowing down and the galleries were emptying. The main doors to the first floor galleries opened up slowly. Then it stopped. A kid of about 6 or so stood there. Half in and half out. Frozen. There was a look of complete horror on his face.

(Don’t even make the joke. I was off in the corner and he didn’t see me.)

Meanwhile he’s trying to back up. His mom would not let him. He’s starting to whine. “Go in honey” she says. “Nooooo” he starts to push back. “Monsters” he yells. She pushes him in and he yells “There are monsters!”

She gets down on one knee to explain to him that there aren’t monsters in here. He’s looking at me now and I’m thinking make a scary face at him. I don’t do it though.

(Wouldn’t be too hard to make a scary face.)
(shut up.)

“There are No monsters in here honey” she says calmly. “None?” He looks at me. I whisper “Yes there are” I smile reassuringly. He’s calm now. They walk around a bit. It turns out he WANTS to see some monsters. I’m not sure his definition of a monster because I’m pretty sure he was pointing at a spoon. Whatever.  They peruse the galleries and end up in the early Christian stuff.

As they start to exit the mom asks what his favorite “monster” was. He says that one and points.

This is what it was:

Icon of the Mother of God and Infant Christ (Virgin Eleousa)


And then this happened:

Mom: Honey that isn’t a monster that is Jesus.
Kid: He’s the scariest one of all.

And then lightning struck and we all died. Or I hoped they’d leave the gallery so I could laugh.

May’s Best of Overheard Ohio

June 4, 2012


Holy cow where the hell did May go? I present to you the top Overheard Ohio for the month of May!

Honorable mention goes to:

woman 1: “This dirty homeless guy called me sexy as I walked to work yesterday.” woman 2: “was he hot?”

5. “my legs are all bruised. Apparently I fell & was yelling I can’t feel my legs so they kicked me until I shut up.”

4. “Baby girl this ain’t the 50’s you ain’t gonna find another man willing to pay for everything.” black dude walking down East 4th.

3. “what present says I’m sorry our 6 year old called you mother the old moose because of me?”

2. “just don’t bring up her arm hair again.” woman to guy as they walk to their car.

Number 1:

“NO I done told you my booty popping days be over!” –woman on phone outside of Severance Walmart.

best of overheardohio for April

May 3, 2012


Hooray it’s May! Here is the top 5 @overheardohio for the month of April.

First almost made the cut (and received a bunch of Retweets): “Your Father and I aren’t paying an arm and a leg to put you through college for you to earn spending money stripping.”

There were some good ones in April so don’t forget to go read them:

“If zombies smoked weed, we’re the fucking cheetos man.”

“I like my mens to be milk white. No white gangstas tho. If they gangsta I might as well date a black dude.”–Black girl on the bus.

“Mother I’m in my thirties I can enjoy looking at women.”-Guy at grocery store after checking out a woman.

“I’m quality. You the dollar store to my @walmart.”

“You can get a blow job or a birthday cake but not both tonight” – woman on cell phone.

the one where chivalry is left for dead

May 2, 2012

Another glimpse into the ride that is jimi and kat.

I’ll set the scene. We’ve just pulled into a Walgreens parking lot. I get out but the lovely wife doesn’t. I think she may have been sending a text. I decide since I’m out I’ll be a gentleman and walk around to open her door for her.

(I open her door and out falls her bag.)

Wifey: Jerk!

Me: Jerk? I open your door to be a gentleman and I’m a jerk?

Wifey: Well it was rude.

Me: Being a gentleman is rude?

Wifey: Yes.

Love is grand.

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