Conversations with Jimi: Volume 20

April 21, 2014

I say things.

Many things.

A lot.

So here are a few of the betters ones recently.

 

coworker annoyed (thinks they’re snobby) with a group of visitors.

coworker: is it true what they say about the French?
me: the kissing thing? yeah.
coworker: what are you talking about?

 

 

As we start the work day.

me: instead of going to my assigned gallery I’m just going to stand in the atrium and read poetry
manager: like to yourself?
me: no at visitors.
manager: to visitors?
me: no AT them.

 

And a special one to show why you too wish you were married to me.

Me: (in bed awoken from sleep.) What are you doing?
Wifebot: uhm…getting in bed.
Me: you’re like ruining the balance of the world right now.


Post it note Tuesday: lovey dovey edition

February 18, 2014

It’s Tuesday so you know what that means right? It means that damn whimpy owes me for that burger I gave him.
Or you know Post it Note Tuesday. Make your own here. This week it’s love themed because of Valentine’s day.

friday night

I work Friday nights (museum stays open till 9) it’s pretty set. I’ve missed lots of art openings and theatre stuff because of it. Don’t even get me started on the fun I’ve missed with the wifebot and or friends. I’ve decided money be damned to be better at taking nights off to really enjoy things. Valentine’s Day I took off and we went to The Stupid Cupid show at Doubting Thomas. It was fun and then we headed for dinner at El Carnicero.

el carnicero

Speaking of El Carnicero: It is delish. We shared among other things the machaca: coffee + ancho braised beef brisket.

openmic

I’ve done the open mic at Loganberry books for two straight months. It’s growing and I’m getting better (THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID) If in the Cleveland area check it out.

bukowski

The wifebot bought me a Bone Palace Ballet by Charles Bukowski for Valentine’s Day. Where? The awesome Loganberry books of course!

hannibal

We just sped through watching Hannibal season one to be able to start watching it with season two. There are many cooking scenes and now I pretend to cook human too. Love seeing Gillian Anderson (swoon) no matter how brief. Now that we love the show it’ll probably get canceled.

Hope you had a great Valentine’s Day or just a great Friday. Enjoy your Tuesday!


best of overheardohio Nov-Jan

February 17, 2014

ohiosaywhat2

I’ve been slacking on the best of @Overheardohio. Me slacking on this is a big shock to all (one) of you huh? With that in mind (and since January only had 3—though they were pretty funny) I give you a top three for the months of November, December and January.

Honorable mention:

“my mom saw the text where I told my girlfriend I wanted to put pudding on her.”-high schooler @McDonalds

Now my picks for best.

3.  “It would be sweet to be jesus. Your parents could never get too mad at you. You’d be mom cut me some slack I’m going to be crucified”

2.   Older lady “you’re nuttier than a pet sandsquatch” guy: “a what?” Older lady “a pet sandsquatch…you know a Bigfoot”

And:

1.  “You know I’m straight & godly but if my husband’s secretary wanted to have sex I’d let her lesbian me up”–woman drinking a giant margarita

Have any favorites? If in Ohio make sure to follow @overheardohio and send in what you hear. If you don’t live here follow and enjoy.


Conversations with Jimi 19: A family affair

February 3, 2014

Conversations with Jimi are generally a glimpse into the very odd place that is my mind. This edition is no different, except you get to delve into the hilarity that is our marriage too. This is a short one and I thought about holding off for TMI THURSDAY. I love this one because it shows how perfectly paired the wifebot and I are.

Set the scene: We were on the couch watching some TV. A commercial comes on for (I don’t even remember really) CSI or NCIS or CSI:NCIS:LMNOP or whatever.

I know it wasn’t NTSF:SD:SUV::

(that show is funny though)
(watch it)
(thank me later)

So this commercial comes on and it’s all dramatical and all.

Commercial: WHAT IF IT HAPPENS TO ONE OF YOUR OWN. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ONE OF YOUR FAMILY GOES DOWN.

Kat/Jimi (complete unison and both thrusting hands toward respective crotches): YEAH GOES DOWN!

It must be hard (yeah baby!) to see what we have and not be totes envious.


The one where I inadvertently come out of the closet

December 16, 2013

First a little bit of back story. I’ve talked more than a few times about how much I watch wrestling. I believe this is how this initially came about and if it didn’t well maybe I am….

AnyRepressedSexuality my sister was visiting and as we lazed about I put on WWE Smackdown. Now there is a wrestler who when a heel (bad guy) I enjoy. His name is Alberto Del Rio. He plays a heelish, pompous Mexican aristocrat. The story in my head goes my sister made a comment about him being attractive. The wifebot was not onboard. I chimed in with

“Come on Alberto Del Rio is a pretty good looking man.”

If that really isn’t how it started and I simply blurted that out well Lucy gots some splaining to do…

Flash forward to every SINGLE time he would come on the tee vee the wifebot would say “here comes your boyfriend.” Or some variation of that and I’d reply “always with the gay jokes.”

FLASH FORWARD to last week.

I’m watching some wrassling and out strolls ADR. He’s wearing his traditional long black scarf (and he previously would come out with a long white one.) What happens next was pretty funny. The part in parenthesis is what I had heard.

Me: I need a fancy shmancy long scarf.
wifebot: what are you talking about?
me: one of those long fancy scarves.
wifebot: (like his white one) Like your boyfriend’s?
me: yeah!

Her eyes get big, as does her smile. We look at one another.

Pause.
Pause.
Pause.

me: wait did you say boyfriend?

I will never here the end of this. He is pretty handsome.

Image


Post it note Tuesday: once more with feeling

December 3, 2013

Way back in the day I took part in something called Post it Note Tuesday. That sort of fell to the wayside and not just on my part. It turns out that people were clamoring for witty internet made sticky notes from yours truly. So back by popular demand post it note Tuesday.

Uh hello?

Okay fine it’s just back. Mostly because the Rizza said she missed them and I figured it’s an easy way to keep my lazy self posting. You can make your own here.

rejection letters

Last week I got 5 rejection letters. 2 of the 5 letters came on the same day.

also

Yeah that was an emo jimi day.

 

Lando

I saw a posting for making your very own Lando Calrissian moustaches. I’ve now set a new goal for making Lando staches and going around Landorizing peoples and places.

don't know Lando

He is a charming mustachioed hero!

Spidey

Awesome hoodie. See yesterday’s post.

feelings

First Katy Perry and this little girl tried. (I barely even noticed Katy’s boobs) and then my coworker on his last night comes over and says “Keep writing that wonderful poetry and stay creative.” Come on people!


the one with spider-man

December 2, 2013

So my awesome sister flew up from Florida last week. She apparently brought the snow with her. The temp dropped and the snow fell basically as soon as she landed and on her last day we warmed up (you know to a warm upper 30’s.) It was awesome to have her up here for her birthday and then Thanksgiving.

This could be a post about family, or Thanksgiving or what I’m thankful for but it isn’t. It’s about the awesomeness that is this:

Image

And the added awesomeness of the different reactions it gets. My sister pretty much gave it to me the moment we walked in our door. I of course immediately put it on. Despite the fact that it was probably (slightly) above hoodie weather I wore it out that night. Where to? A special church Thanksgiving dinner that we were guilt tripped invited to attend by her sister. Now we are not church goers but have no problem with churchies—I mean people who attend church.

Me being me I wore it to the dinner. I walked in with it all the way up and the looks were amazing. I’m not a total dick so I unzipped it soon after entering. Then the looks were probably who the heck are these guys but everyone was nice. I left the hood up. The hoodie being up cause the awesome half Peter Parker half Spidey look the comic uses a lot.

See?

Image

On the street I wore it fully zipped but added some pretend web slinging/shooting at buildings and people.

Reactions:

Spidey what’s up?
What the fuck?
Did he just throw something?
A couple people in starbucks tried to snap pics.

The other day I came into work with it fully up and started to unzip it as two managers walked down the hall.

one: Oh it’s Remick.
two: Like you really needed to ask who it was?

I guess since my sister gave it to me this post was about family and what I’m thankful for.

 


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