Apparently I’m oblivious.
Let’s set the scene. It’s a slow Wednesday night at the museum. About an hour into the night a woman came over needing some directions. I helped her in my usual charming way. Her friend looked bored as we chatted about my awesome Captain Kirk tie. They went on their merry way and I tried to keep myself from falling into a coma. On their way out of the galleries they stopped again to ask if I knew where a certain piece was.
No it wasn’t Patty Picasso’s masterpiece.
I told them where and how to go and they once again went on their merry way. I went back to stopping German Art Thieves with my buddy John McClane. Later I tried to finish the elusive man in the marble column poem and (let’s be honest here) probably thought about the wife’s boobs.
Flash forward (finally) to about an hour to go. Here come our intrepid museum explores. They’re on their way to exit the South Door. She stops to compliment me on my tie again and we start talking about nerd stuff. After a few minutes her friend walks back over and arrives just as this happens:
Her: It must suck being on your feet this whole time.
Me: Sometimes it really does.
Her: You poor thing. They don’t let you sit down?
Her: Jerks. You’ve been here all day?
Me: Just since 5.
(More comic book talk that I don’t remember) Then:
Her: When are you off?
That’s a weird way to ask when the museum closes.
Me: The museum closes at 9.
Her: And when do YOU get off?
Me: Uhm 9:30—
Her friend: He has a ring you whore.
Her friend: Whore.
Her: See you around.
They then made like Snagglepuss.