The one with Princess Leia

Now, this is the story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

Errr uh Bensonhurst. That’s right…New York, New York, New York, New York oh State of mind (New York City)

Seriously did my shtick change? Now I’m just Mr. Insert random song lyrics the whole time? So some of you may have known but l spent the majority of last week in NYC. Actually it was Brooklyn to be more specific and Bensonhurst if you need to be REALLY specific.

(God you people are so damn anal. Oh that was probably a poor choice of words for this place.)

AnyBum you may have heard I was on my first NYC trip. You may also have noticed that this place was dead last week. That wasn’t my fault (hey if Han Solo can say it so can I!) The place we were staying was promised to have working internet access and it did. The problem being that my friend (hence forth known as Williams or Harkness) could not remember the password. His soon to be ex wife (who he texted to ask) could not remember either.

This may need a bit of explanation. Williams and his wife are in the middle of a divorce. It appears to be at least generally “friendly” and moving forward. They lived in Brooklyn at the time it was decided. He goes to Cleveland State and moved back to Cleveland. She stayed in Brooklyn where she teaches. Last week she was due to be back in Cleveland and he took that opportunity to go back and pick up some of his stuff.

Anypointless info the time finally came for us to begin. Now originally I intended to make another Fresh Prince joke here. I was going to use the lyrics from the song about the cab and all that jazz but decided against it. Don’t worry it’ll be on the DVD extras. So we headed off—well actually first we (read he) had to go to the Ohio DMV. On the way there he decided he needed Starbucks—this would be a theme of the trip.

There is a Starbucks on every damn corner in NYC. Also Williams will attempt to go into every single one of them.

So we pull into a drive thru Starbucks over by Golden Gate Plaza. Before I go on (I know I know) another interlude. This happened or probably happened. Okay the point is I’m not embellishing this story. We may have miss heard her but this is what is believed to have happened.

The drive thru voice crackled out to us. “Welcome to Starbucks my name is Princess Leia, what can I get you today?” A confident female voice asked.

So at this point there is a slight pause on our end.

“Did she just say Princess Leia.?” I’m thinking over in the passenger seat thinking to myself

“Hi Princess Leia this is your brother Luke Skywalker.” Williams chimed in with from the drivers seat. There was a pause. No not true. There was a

PAUSE

And then Crickets. There were lots and lots of crickets. After this she once again asked us how she could help us. No acknowledgment of what had just passed between us all. Nothing at all. It was business and business and only. So Luke Williams ordered.

“We’re out of that.” darkly stated.

“Insert whatever he ordered next” (I don’t remember.)

“Oh I’m sorry we’re actually out of that too” Said with all the sympathy of Emperor Palpatine.

(Nervous laughter.)

Finally something was settled on and we drove around. Unfortunately she was only the order taker and not the drink giver. Perhaps she was never a she and the dude who gave him his drink was good with voices. Who knows? We never heard from Princess Leia again.

Now the trip and the real trouble could begin….

(You can go now.)

(No really that’s all for now)

(More stories tomorrow.)

(Probably)

(Wow still reading this?)

(Really?)

(You go home now.)

(That last one will be funny a couple stories from now.)