The recap where I’m lazy

August 30, 2010

The weekend has once again come and passed. I didn’t want Monday to show its face and ruin everything. I dreaded it all night. Okay pause. I just wanted all you employed folk to feel better about your dreading and dragging. Me? I’m sitting here in my boxers sipping coffee and listening to the radio. What is Monday?
Anyunemployed the weekend was not really filled at all. I think I left the apartment 3 times since Friday.
Yeah I’m lazy I’ve learned to love and accept it. Saturday we headed over to Astound! to finally make our comic book run and I had 40 bucks of comic books waiting for me.

Friday meant it was time to see Lou Motherflipping Barlow. The show rocked the Grog for something like 2 hours. It was awesome. It was way fun to hang with Silliebean and the lovely Camilla. It was fun yelling “do it” at Lou Barlow with her. It was also fun to hear her heckle someone she likes.

Good times.

Such as silliebean leaning in and telling Camilla’s friend that she heard that the people from Great Lakes Brewing Company are dicks and he replied:

I work there.

It was awesome! Now pictures:

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Yeah that’s all. I did say I was lazy. If you haven’t read the other story from Friday night read it here.

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The one with the guy who thought he was smooth

August 28, 2010

No it’s not me. I know I’m not smooth.

At least not 100 % of the time.

The following takes place at the Lou Barlow and the Missing Men show at the Grog Shop. It really has nothing to do with the show itself. That post will come later. The story is about a guy. A guy who clearly thinks he is smooth with women but most clearly is not. He was as generic normal looking as the next college guy hitting up a show at the grog shop.

(I’m pretty sure he practices fist pumping in the mirror.)

AnyJerseyShoreReference I was in the men’s bathroom when I first encountered the tool young man—oh who am I kidding he was a tool. I was at one of the three urinals making a sissy (ha take that wife!) and there was another guy at another one.

Side note: The grog means bathroom is set up so that there are 2 urinals on one wall and a 3rd directly on the opposite wall. Here crappy drawing to confuse and horrify you:

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So keep that horrible paint shop chicken scratch in mind. So Douche O’Tool saunters on into the bathroom. There is a guy washing his hands and (as said before) two urinals being used. I’m at urinal A and there is a skinny dude at Urinal C. Now the quarters are close but unless you are precious (bad form peter) or fat bastard you can get in there easily. You know in and to the urinal without you know touching another dude and becoming gay because of it. He says:

O’Tool: Woah! A line in here what is this the woman’s room?

(No line not sure what he was talking about.)

O’Tool: I’m not going to that urinal and that guy is at the sink or I’d pee there.

At this point someone comes in and O’Tool says to him:

O’Tool: You see that chicks tits?

Guy: No, who?

O’Tool: Some chick out there.

So now I go to wash my hands and he runs to the urinal and pees. As I finish and leave he zips ups and hurriedly squeezes past me. As he does a girl is rounding the corner to go to the ladies room. She is wearing a cool Dinosaur Jr. Tee:

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He stops her as she reaches the door.

O’Tool: That’s a dope shirt.

Chick: Thanks.

O’Tool: That’s a shirt that says “date me” all over it.

Chick: No thanks.

(She pushes door open.)

O’Tool: Hey mebbe we can xchange digits?

Chick: I don’t know about that.

O’Tool: Oh. You want me to wait out here?

(She goes inside the bathroom)

Yeah that actually happened. And yes I actually stopped to listen to this—pretending that I was texting someone—because I knew O’Tool wouldn’t let me down.

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The one with the sexy pictures

May 6, 2010

Hello gentle reader and welcome. Welcome back to that warm cozy place we call (thanks to the brilliant LiLu) TMI Thursday. This one dear family involves sex just a bit. Not really the focus of the post and not really discussed so read on if you like.

Yes ever the junkie I crawl back on hands and knees and
Tap tap tap that vein.
Just one more hit baby.

*shakes box of drugs at you* Where did you learn to do this? Huh?
I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!

I wonder if I’ll cut that beginning part tomorrow morning before (or after?) posting. Who knows? I mean it is probably a bit insensitive and who knows how funny it actually is. On the one hand that commercial was too funny and easy to make fun of. Every now and again the wife and I bust out with “I learned it by watching you!” It is very fun. Then on the other hand that commercial is rather old and who knows how many of you actually know of it? Here:

AnyPSA contrary to the drivel above it wasn’t a night filled with drugs. The night was filled with drink after drink after drink. Ah the Grog Shop how I miss thee. It has been a long time since the three shillelaghs have made their way to that wonderful Mecca of booze and music. That really needs to change. Like soon.

Anywhiskey it was for a free show being held at the grog. Now this part was very hazy for obvious reasons. I’m looking at you Mr. Jack Daniels. Actually I know Jack is my best friend and only wants to help me have a good time. He loves me and I love him. So as the story goes (hazy as it is and helped along by the wife) we attended said show but pretty much never left our seats at the bar. Where we drank and as I stated before
drank some more.

Did I mention that mostly we sat at the bar and drank heavily? So after some hugging and laughing and stumbling outside all three of us (pelvic joann) parted ways. We all walked home of course—just another piece of the awesomeness that the Grog Shop is.

But you really don’t care about the before. Oh no dear gentle reader you want the juicy details that happened because of the drinky drinks and the stumbling home. After we made into our apartment things got interesting. It started out rather innocent just some usual drunk joking and more laughing. We were in separate rooms for a few minutes and then some sort of mind link occurred because next thing I know we were both in the same room and naked. I’d like to stress there was not talking about this it just happened that we both just took all our clothes off. We were all over each other and slowly made our way into the bedroom.

Now in there it started to get hot and heavy. Drunk sex can be quite fun. After a few minutes the wife unit (haha I said unit) said “you should get the camera”

I stopped what I was doing.

“oh?”

She confirmed that I had heard right and I ran off to get the camera. Yeah sexy sex pictures! Well not exactly because if you recall I told you we were really wasted. I mean really. Sure we had fun and the sex was good but the pictures not so much. We were somehow not too drunk to have really great sex but way too drunk to even take decent pictures.

There was falling off the bed (once trying to pose and the other trying to take a picture) and stumbling around. There was falling into walls and doors as we tried to take picture. For the most part the pictures consist of: An elbow. Lots of pictures of the camera strap. A few leg ones and some nice cheek shots (of course not of the butt variety)

All in all it was a pretty hilarious attempt. We swore to never tell anyone and then like 5 days later proceeded to tell Pelvic Joann and now all of you.

Smile and say cheese bitches!


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