The one on the phone

March 14, 2011

Recently someone from the Columbus Crew called me about tickets. For a couple years the wifey, Lindsay and I made our way to a bunch of matches. Last year we did not however. Many a thing got in the way—not the least was me being laid off.


Me: Hello.

Ticket guy: Hi, James?

Me: You found me.

Ticket guy: Haha. Yeah. Hi I’m whatever the name I said was with the Columbus Crew. How are you?

Me: Delicious.

Ticket guy: Haha delicious. I like that. That’s good right?

Me: Yeah.

Ticket guy: Great. Well I’m going to make it better I hope. Our records show you didn’t make it to any Crew matches last season.

Me: Yeah last season was tough…we wanted….

Ticket guy: Yeah we understand economy got rough…but I’m here to help get you back up here—

Me: Yeah it was mostly losing my job that stopped us.

Ticket guy: Oh? That is…I’m sorry about that. Economy hit a lot of people.

Me: Yeah.

Ticket guy: Well we got a lot of deals for you James. Especially if you get season tickets.

Me: Well we’d love to make it to at least one this season but season tickets would not be possible at this time.

Ticket guy: Okay Okay. I understand. Let me get you started on some of our single game specials.

Me: Yeah we want to go to at least one but at this time I can’t make any commitments. We’ll be looking at the schedule soon…

Ticket guy: Well James we have a lot of gifts for ordering tickets now. Let’s see what it’ll take to get you to come on down. Lots of cool gifts.

Me: Is one of them a job?

Ticket guy: Oh? Uh? Haha no unfortunately. I’ll tell you what my name is again whatever name I originally said, and my number is (number here) when you know what you want I can help you. Okay?

Me: Thanks whatever his name was.

We said our goodbyes then. I couldn’t help but try and make him feel uncomfortable. I dig the people at the Crew and they’ve always been nice and helpful. When we can make a match I will call him.

The one with the Overheard top ten

January 19, 2011

The job search thickens (That’s what she said!) so today will be a shorty.

(Hey shawty!)


So you can head over and check out the latest stuff at B movie brigade. We be on twitter too! This post will be something I’d been meaning to do more of. There (as some may know) is a little thing called Overheard Ohio. It has some real funny stuff. Even if you don’t live in Ohio it’s still pretty funny. Check it out (and submit if you can!)! Anyplug here is (my) top ten submissions for the month of December:

10. “Santa has a sleigh but I’ll let u know what the truth is. MFer is jolly cus he get 2 creep up on some fine ass bitches.”-Guy rapping outside.

9. “I should be home having sex with my girl. Fucking snow and fucking bus.” -Young dude at the bus stop.

8. “Let’s not forget the time you stuck your junk in their pitcher of beer.”–Guy jogging to his friend.

7. “it’s like my stepmom has Christmas cheer coming out of her vagina” –young lady @Phoenixcoffeeco

6. “Sometimes not being able to control your bowels can be a good thing.” —woman walking on @Coventryvillage

5. “Damn ‘Papa was a rolling stone.’ that is some deep ish…just like it’s talking to me man.”–Young guy outside Wendy’s.

4. “Shit if I have to spend Christmas at her parents she better pretend I’ve got a blow pop in my pants.”-guy waiting for the rapid.

3. “I hope your grandad still gives it to your grandma because she’s pretty doable for her age.”-Guy in Walmart to his friend.

2. “We broke up because he got drunk and kept telling my mom ‘your daughter likes to get her fried rice porked’ at her party”-girl eating sushi.

1. “I broke up with a girl once so I wouldn’t have to figure out what to get her for X-Mas.”-Guy discussing x-mas presents.

the one with blood and people in shopping carts

August 3, 2010

Another weekend comes to an end and it’s time to get back to the grind of the work week.

Haha. Sorry I had to do it. I hope your work week in general isn’t too bad.

My grind continues to consist of making sure that I’ve applied to at least 2 places. This is usually what Monday is. I make sure to find at least 2 jobs to apply for. I continue looking during the week but Monday is the at least 2 for that week day.

I’m sure you all are very happy to have learned that information.

Anyunemployment the weekend was a fun one. It started on Friday (as they often do) with a trip to the Grog Shop. We were going to support a friend’s brother’s band. The band is Mos scocious who apparently was voted best local band in Chicago. I only had to hear this fact about 600 times from various sources. Whatev. They were good. A little too feel goody for my usual taste but they were fun.

They were good to listen to and pretty catchy. They also had a decent stage presence which is something that some of the bands sorely lack. I was very happy to go because it had been way too long since I’d been to the Grog. The wife and been recently but not me. I miss it and this summer is a long way from the summer of the Grog we had with the rizza a few years back. So it’s been a while.

There was a new girl and the jack and ginger she made me was well it was very weak. As we chatted and drank Marty came over to see if we needed anything. The wifey told him no but I said “order me another I’m going to chug this.” He laughed and started to make one. I told him it was because she made it rather weak, he laughed again and made it nice and strong. Which of course meant the new drink was way STRONG. Yeah! Actually the bartenders at the Grog are some of the best in town.

Anywhiskey the opening act played to maybe15 people. Most of these were at the bar and most of them didn’t pay attention to the opener. It was just one man, and he was rapping. He wasn’t too bad. I feel bad because I forget (and lost the note I wrote it on) his name. His rhymes were not too bad. Even if one ended with:

“I’m so large I’ll stretch your womb.”

I meant to tell him I dug his stuff and see if he had a twitter or Facebook but after he disappeared into the backroom I never saw him again. Before the show we went over to the doghouse for some hot dogs, because the wifey napped/read until it was time to hit the show. It was tasty as always. It was good to sit outside on Coventry and eat. People watching at its finest—though unfortunately didn’t get any good Overheard Conversation bits.

Did I just start in the middle of the night and then travel backwards? What is this Memento?

Saturday was a day of two halves. I woke up at about 10am to find no paper. Now this is most likely due to the bank taking forever to give the plain dealer their money. After some coffee the wife and I sat down to address her dying computer. We were on the phone for like 3 crazy hours with Dell but all in all it finally got taken care of. It really doesn’t deserve that much of a space as the fun things.

Later that day we headed over to the Cleveland Cinematheque for the next installment of The Marx Brothers. This week it was Horse Feathers. This fine film came out in 1932.

Funny as the Marx Brothers always are. The wife enjoyed it—and I’m hoping this new found enjoyment changes her opinion of Duck Soup. Lindsay, the wife and I then went to Cafe Tandoor for some dinner. It was delish. The wife and I shared the Butter Chicken, Baingan Bartha and some garlic naan. The time was filled with laughter and that is always good. The wifey I spent the rest of the night in watching some tv and doing some reading. I was in sort of a somber mood but nothing major. We ended up staying up till like 4 in the morning.

Sunday the big day was here. My lovely Kat and I were headed to the Nautica Pavilion for PWO Wrestlelution 3 event. Yeah we went to watch some wrestling. Can you guess who the one who wanted to was? I gave her the option of just dropping me off but she declined. So onward we went. The event started at 3pm and doors opened at 2. We arrived at exactly 2 because being poor I only bought general admission tickets.

It was sit where you can and we scoped out some decent seats. You could see well from pretty much anywhere. We sat and chatted and what not. When Raven walked past us and took a seat at the merch table. There was simply no way I could pass up seeing my all time fav (and greatest heel of all time) Raven and so we headed over. As we waited in line Hacksaw Jim Duggan approached to much fanfare. Now as wrestlers go he’s not my fav or all that amazing of one either, but I grew up watching him. As people said “hey” shook his hand or said “hoooo” (he’s known for belting out hooooo) I tried to stay my ground. I told my wife I was trying to keep my cool and not mark out or get all excited just because of childhood nostalgia. The wife egged me on because she was concerned I’d regret it. Regret will be a topic of a post soon, but not today because I was doing things not regretting them for a change. I calmly shook his hand and said Hi. That was all that was needed. I was in line for the one I needed to meet and chat with: RAVEN!


Greatest heel of all time Raven

Raven and Hacksaw Jim Duggan:

Raven and Hacksaw Jim Duggan

And then me trying to keep my cool later on.


It was awesome. I got to meet him and talk for just a bit (read about 3 sentences from me and 3 from him) but it was enough. I tried my best not to totally bumble and blather. The event went for about 3 and half hours. By the end the wifey was sort of cranky because she was hungry and tired. But she sort of enjoyed and I know she did. During the main event M-Dogg 20 v Johnny Gargano for the PWO Title, the two tore the place up (literally). They went all over the stands floor and ring. It was a great match and there were several times kat said this:

“No no no. What are they crazy?”

Here are some pictures:



Jason Bane threw Raven into a shopping cart:

Bane throws Raven into a shopping cart

Johnny Gargano flips onto M-Dogg 20 Matt Cross:

Johnny Gargano trying to kill M-Dogg 20, himself or both

Johnny Gargano dragging Matt Cross through the crowd:


We went from here to a nice dinner at Mi Pueblo and then a quiet night at home.

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Top Ten Commercial list

March 13, 2009

This post has been a long time in the writing phase or in other words it was left in my blog folder to rot but here it is. Commercials can be really good or really bad. I’m going to focus on the good right now (spoiler alert worst commercial blog coming up soon.) Now these are the best commercials no debating needed (I mean in my opinion of course) that are from between 2006 and last year. Totally separate from the likes of the McDonald’s Filet o’ Fish ad of 2009 that would blow away the competition.

10. Brooke Shields Routan boom.

There’s an epidemic spreading and its hilarity. This commercial wrapped in the guise of a PSA was just the beginning. It was on the bubble but when I read so many nuts being angered by it, I just knew it had to crack my top ten.

9. Espn Monday Night Football Mc Hammer.

ESPN may do many bad things (read force feed us Chris Berman) but they hit the mark with a few of the MNF commercials. How can you go wrong with MC Hammer? It needs to be on here for the “Hammer don’t hurt him” line. Oh and Hammer just so you know it wasn’t my beeper that kept on beeping and beeping.

8. Jack Links Beef Jerky Messing with Sasquatch

One thing is for sure the creators weren’t messing around when they came up with this little gem. The whole set of “messing with sasquatch” ads are great. I went with the old shaving cream on the hand gag one because of its educational value. It can help sure that future generations know a classic way to get their sleep deprived friends. Just make sure if you do that they can’t clothesline you into next week.

7. Warren Wallace “into the wall” GEICO

Now I’m not a fan of racing but this commercial transcends it. This commerical came to win. The kid in it plays the lines beautifully. Well written and at least the gecko isn’t in them. “When it comes to Mike Wallace the story ends with me putting him into the wall.”

6. Mr. T World of Warcraft

Much like with MC Hammer one can never go wrong with putting Mr. T in a commercial. If this was a top ten of video game commercials list this one would beat down the competition. You never know Mr. T “may be pretty handy when it comes to computers.” I do know that I pity the fool who doesn’t think this commercial is funny.

5. Bruce Campbell “hungry like a wolf” Old spice

Bruce Campbell. Nothing more needs to be said.

4. Sony HD tv “I don’t like sports”

 It gets points from the get go for use of person in animal costume. The San Diego Chicken and Peyton Manning in one commercial is almost too much to handle. Their bit may end with “Chicken No!” but I’m say commercial yes!

3. N.P.H old spice commercial Neil Patrick Harris. What more can you ask for? This commercial is perscription strength awesome!

2. Berries and cream

Ah starburst makes an appearance. Their commercials are as off the wall as anyones. This is just plain awesome. You want a laugh or just odd looks break out with “I’m a little lad who loves berries and cream”. Brilliant I tell you! “Pardon me what kind of starburst did you just say? Ber…berries and what else?” I wasn’t a fan of the berries and cream starburst but I’m a little lad that loves berries and cream commercial!

1. Skittles singing rabbit

This just may be the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. It has it all. Culture (the opera singing) use of animals, emotion (the pain of losing his skittles) tension (will he get them back?) and even action (running in the rain). Hell even a bit o violence (the rabbit really gets him good).Skittles probably need to be crowned Kings of the commercial world. Now this one in particular gets special treatment for the sentimental value it has (we imitated the bunny all throughout or VACA in Chicago.) It wins mostly because there is a singing rabbit and there will never be a time I won’t laugh when seeing it. Plus the bunny bites him at the end!

Yes, Cleveland has a soccer team

July 4, 2008

And frankly they’re not half bad. Their name is the Cleveland City Stars. The team, which play their matches at Krenzler Field was founded in 2006. The are a member of the USL Second Division (which is the lower Division) and played their inaugural season in 2007. They came out of the gate hot winning their first 9 matches. They ended the season undefeated at home taking the 2nd seed in the playoffs. They eventually lost to eventual Second Division Champions Harrisburg 1-0. The banner first season didn’t go unnoticed–at least by the USL.  After the season they may not have had a championship trophy but their case was still filled. The franchise took home:

USL-2 Defender of the Year (Mark Schulte)
USL-2 Coach of the Year (Martin Rennie)
USL-2 Executive of the Year (Mark Geissbauer)
Marketing Excellence Award
USL Rookie Franchise of the Year

A promising beginning that had a familiar theme for Cleveland fans (there’s always next year). What was next for the club? A T.V deal of course. On April 7, 2008, the City Stars announced a deal with SportsTime Ohio that will see all of the team’s home games aired on the station. Each match will air tape delayed on game night. Replays will be aired on Sundays. Play-by-play and color commentary will be provided by Desmond Armstrong, 1994 World Cup TV commentator and former US national team player, and Glen Duerr, a former City Stars player.

The City Stars are owned by Cleveland Soccer Foundation, a 501 non for profit organization. They have a mission an a motto–“Serving the city, changing the world.” They hold free clinics in cities around Cleveland.

In 2008 they’ve played been near the top of the table as well. Currently they’re in second place with 23 points (after 13 matches) 5 points behind the Charlotte Eagles.  At home the Green Army has gone 3-0-3 scoring 9 goal while allowing only 1. Average attendance in 2007 was about 1,417. The team played the Columbus  Crew to a 2-2 draw in a reserve friendly. The Crew needed a late score to secure the draw. They moved into the third round of The Lamar Hunt U.S. Open cup, but their goal of defeating an MLS club fell short when they lost 4-1 to Chicago Fire.

Next up for the Cleveland City Stars is a return home to face Western Mass Pioneers. It takes place Friday with a matinée start time of 3 pm.

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