What I learned last week: 6/3-6/10

July 10, 2011

What I learned from last week

Group interviews suck:

Ok technically I already knew this. I’d been in group interviews before and they’ve always sucked. Last week I had an interview for a job at a college. I arrived all gussied up and what not. When I checked in I heard group interview and my first instinct was to run. I didn’t I sucked it up and went through with it. It was horridly painful. It ended with each of us having to get up in front and do a “commercial” about ourselves.

Katy Perry is hot.

Ok again something I already knew. I’ve never hid the fact that I have an HUGE crush on Katy Perry. The problem it seems is I also enjoy her music. I mean it’s not my favorite in the world but I dig it and she is way hot. So the wifebot bought tickets to her concert and I went.

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Katy Perry puts on a surprising good show.

She sort of won me over with her performance.
(Okay she had already won me over with her boobs, but still.)
Her show was very theatrical and pretty fun.

Star Trek the Next Generation: The Porn Parody:

Yes there is this. They do appear to have tried to have a real plot and decent attempt at graphics. Kimberly Kane (another crush of mine.) is in it, but unfortunately not really in the trailer. She plays Dr. Crusher.

I REALLY like to talk about my writing:

We all probably knew that, but this week it really stuck out. There was this strange dude at the wife’s show and he heard me say I was a playwright. He asked to talk with me and asked about my writing. I talked and answered all his questions even when it got weird. He seemed to be steering it toward trying to “collaborate” with me.

The wifebot is an amazing actress:

Again already knew this but the shows this weekend were pretty impressive. Plus look what the Sun News said: Catherine Remick (the wifebot) and Natalie Dolezal start off the festival with strong, snarky emotion absolutely crucial to the scene and some of the most capable and natural acting in the production. I got it here.

Going out to see Fireworks can be a good time:

I’ve sort of been lukewarm about going to see fireworks. I mean I enjoy it but this year I had a lot of fun.The three shillelaghs headed over to family fest (I think it was called that) presented by RTA. It was a good time. It was nice to hang out enjoying the 216 on a blanket with friends and random people.

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We’re rock stars:

Two times last week the wifebot and I were singled out for being awesome. As we left for the Katy Perry concert we were stopped by a lady. She said “you two look like you was walking right out of a magazine.” On the 4th of July as we entered the family fest (or whatever) a man stopped us to take our picture. He thought we were “such an interesting couple” and “looked made for each other.”

Finding lost friends:

Just yesterday my meebo app (lets me chat easily on my phone) signed on by itself. My sound was off and I was unaware. It’s connected to my aim (I know right?) and someone who I met thru a band’s message board immed me. I saw it like 3 hours later but luckily she was still online. We talked and it was nice. We’ve made sure to connect in other ways. It was very nice.

Movies on the couch:

It is such a simple joy putting in a movie and cuddling with the wifebot. Perfection.

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The one where I’m Scrooge McDuck

May 3, 2011

So if you read yesterday’s post (and you did because you are all faithful readers) you know 2 things. One we have an odd marriage (probably already knew that.) and two that I had an interview.

(The interview seemed to go pretty smoothly.)

The day started out like any other with some coffee and then breakfast: Generic Captain Crunch.

Yep Berry Kid’s Crunch.

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This of course led to generic top of mouth being crunked up.

That’s fine. It happens. I’ll take it in stride. Oh the cats spilled my coffee? That’s fine. I had to leave anyway. I throw on my Parnell’s hoodie and head on out into the sunny gray Cleveland day.

Are the gray skies an omen? Probably not, I mean Cleveland can be gray. The temp was just right at about 54 degrees. I can dig that. I put my sunglasses away and hit up my Pandora station. I was good to go. I got onto the bus and decided I’d rather read. Off came the headphones and out came the book. I noticed an older couple was eying me.

Old dude: You never see young people reading on the bus.
Old chick: I know. What’s he reading?
Old Dude: Oh it looks like he’s reading Poe!
(Yep it was a collection of Poe stories.)

I got downtown with about 30 minutes to spare before the interview. The sun greeted me as I stepped off the bus. It struggled clawing at the clouds but soon pushed them to the side. With a smile I pulled out my sun glasses. Wearing funky sunglasses always makes me feel better. They seem to boost my confidence. I walked around east fourth soaking the sun and people in. I leaned against a wall to jot a few lines of poetry down.

As I did this a man in an old Cleveland Indians jacket walked up to me. We made eye contact and I knew what was going to come next.

“Hey big man.”

Why do they always start that way with me? You probably know that I’m essentially a smurf. I mean I am small. No matter what guy is asking me for something it’s always “hey big man.” Or “big man let me ask ya something.” Is it just me or do they start the same way with others? Maybe they’re all fans of ironic nicknames? Perhaps they think it’ll make me more likely to give them some change. Maybe they think they’re helping me fulfill some “I wish I was taller” fantasy. It could be they’re calling me fat but that doesn’t seem like a smart technique. I dunno but it never fails.

Dude: Can I ask you for some help big man.
Me: You can but I’m not really in a position where I can help.
Dude: Those other people looked at me like I didn’t exist.
Me: That sucks.
Dude: I just need a couple of bucks today.
Me: I would but I spent all the cash I had on me on my bus pass.
Dude: I’m homeless but I’m still a person.
Me: I agree. I’m sorry.
Dude: I lost my job I just need a couple bucks.
Me: I’d help if I could. I lost my job too, down here trying to get a new one.
Dude: A dollar? Anything?
Me: I would if I had it but I don’t.
Dude: Bullshit you look like Mr. fucking Moneybags.
Me: Well you read me wrong. (I cross the street.)
Dude: LOOK EVERYONE THERE GOES MR. FUCKING MONEYBAGS. LOOK AT MR. MONEYBAGS WALK AWAY.

Yep he had me pegged. I’m a real Scrooge McDuck over here. Now if you’ll excuse me it’s time to go swim in my vault of gold coins.

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