The one with the birthday

August 6, 2010

someecards.com - Happy birthday to a sports fan who may just be realizing he's now older than his favorite athletes

That’s right bitches it’s my birthday!

Go, go, go, go, go, go

“Yeah I can get into this.” *Head bob and awkward looking body movement.*

Go shawty, it’s your birthday

“Hey! Don’t call me shor—”

We gonna party like it’s your birthday
We gon’ sip Bacardi like it’s your birthday

“Oh see that’s better. Though rather it be Jack Daniels but you know whatever.” *Cough* Wuss *Cough*

You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub
Look mami, I got the X if you into takin’ drugs

“Uhm drugs? Plus did you just call me mami? You are strange.”

I’m into havin’ sex, I ain’t into makin’ love
So come gimme a hug, if you’re into gettin’ rubbed

“Woah big boy just stop right there with your pervert ideas. I don’t know who you think I am but I’m not into that stuff. Plus you know I really don’t like you calling me short. You spelled it wrong too.
Oh?
You think so? You wanna take it outside tough guy?”

And that’s the true story of how 50 Cent really got all shot up. Yeah I shot 50 cent.
Don’t mess with me I’m a Lawyer!
Sorry this isn’t the movie Hook, but really is my birthday.

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Post it Note Tuesday: Colored me numbered

March 9, 2010

I’ve decided to go with a bit of a theme for today’s Post it Note Tuesdays. The theme is numbers of course because being an English Major it makes sense to make my theme numbers. Enjoy and if you want to read some more just clicky click the pic below. If you want to make your own go here.

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So on March 9th, 1997 one of the greatest rappers of all time (Biggie Smalls) was shot and killed. Today being March 9th I decided that I’d add him to the Pandora station I listen to the most to honor him. Well since I did Pandora has played 10 extremely white guys. I just found it funny. Believe me I’ll be pouring one out for my homie later.

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This one is a little more self explanatory. Including today I’ve got 5 more shifts of torture before I’m laid off. I will be pouring one out for the store later too but only the cheap stuff.

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I would love to marry my iphone but instead I will just continue to kiss on my wifey for getting it for me. The 4 apps I downloaded right away were espn score center, echophone (twitter), facebook and foursquare. Shut up.

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Yep every single time I went to get some coffee I’ve either almost dropped it or slammed it into the side of the coffee maker. I’m awesome like that. Wanna hire me?

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Thanks Monster and some people are just dicks.

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This is so awesome. I took it home and it deserves pictures more than words so:

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Phonin

May 29, 2009

Here is the second track from the E.T. CD. Yeah I like to avoid real writing.

Phonin’

[Chorus]
I got one big brown head, you don’t pick up I’m gonna be dead.
Baddies bang at the door, Reese’s pieces all ova the floor
This is just a speak and spell with a coffee can, tell me you have a secret plan.
Phonin’ Phonin’ Phonin’

My neck is all stretched out
And Elliot be looking like he got gout.
I learned all my words from Sesame Street.
Time running short, g men on my tail, your boy really be on the hot seat.
Gone are the good times back on Halloween.
I’m big time you know in the clutch I’ll make it out clean.
Give me my celly and drop me in the forest to roam
Excuse me Mr. Officer I just want to call home.

[Chorus]

I dropped the Hershey people a pot of gold.
June 82 I owned you, records knocked cold.
Hands down the best sci fi movie ever made.
May be an analogy for Jesus, don’t mean I can’t get paid.
So big I can have my own time zone, this alien be rich and it shows
Don’t act like my neck don’t bling, bitch even my heart glows!
In my left pocket an IPhone and in the right blackberry curve.
Beat back suckas with ease. Blink and you’ll miss my swerve.

[Chorus]

Worldwide you know I got that dough.
Get in my face and I swing steel like Imma golf pro.
How you gonna act like ET down cap?
Who you to think an alien can’t rap?
Bought my mom a planet with all the royalties.
Every time I come around got Henry Thomas tugging on my sleeves.
Tricked out tie fighters sit in my garage.
No more played out government vans for my entourage.

[Chorus]


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