TMI Thursday: Toilet Water Edition

December 23, 2010

It’s a Festivus Miracle! This makes two straight days with a post. Now will see how long that last. I’m a very busy person you know. Some of us have to go to work and all…oh wait. Never mind. Not only is a second straight day with a post but it is the return of TMI Thursday. I mean you know it’s been like 2 whole weeks or so since I’ve written one.

Yeah and you continue to ride on the coattails of Lilu.

(Shut up! But you know go read her stuff cus she is a lot funnier than me.)
(You didn’t need to agree so easily with that last statement.)

AnyLosingAllCredibility this happened a few weeks back. It turns out that my wife is one talented actress and my sister (Lisa) is one crazy lady. Now for the record I knew both of these things already. They just confirmed the thoughts. The wife was in the middle of her run as Chorus member, Monica Lewinsky and Eleanor Roosevelt in Hillary: A Modern Greek Tragedy with a (somewhat) Happy Ending. Now my crazy sister decided she’d fly up (from FLA) and enjoy our wintry weather. She flew up for the last weekend of shows to see one.

I know crazy.

This is all of course set up—set up that technically happened after the actual tmi event. I know we’re like messing with the space time continuum here. We be getting our freaky science fiction swagger on. That’s how we roll here.

AnyStarTrek I suppose I should stop stalling and get on with the post. It is short and sweet. Okay it’s not actually that sweet. Like the good husband I am I was making sure the apartment was cleaned and presentable. The wifey was at work and my sister was arriving the next day. I cleaned and cleaned like I was Cinderella. The wifey as she likes to do made me a list of things to do. I of course followed the list to a tee.
Then out of the kindness of my heart (and despite it not being on the list) I decided to clean the bathroom too. Husband points! So I cleaned away. I cleaned the sink. I swept. I cleaned the mirror. I turned my attention to the toilet. I cleaned it until it was spotless. We could eat off of it…

Well you could—not me—no I’m not as kinky as all of you.

As I was about to leave I noticed there was actual still a spot inside the bowl. So I went down to one knee to vanquish the evil stain. Except I did it too hard and this caused a tidal wave. Toilet water (albeit clean) and toilet bowl cleaner flew up and went in my nose. A blast of cold toilet water smacked me right in the face and shirt.

My initial reaction was to blow it out of my nose. This ended with a bunch of yellowish brown boogies landing on the toilet.

I cleaned those up and then gave myself a whiskey shot as a reward.


the one where I get recappy again

July 26, 2010

Just as I mildly and lovingly poke fun of the Monday weekend updates I find myself on the verge of doing a second consecutive one. I still didn’t do anything fancy enough to really warrant a recap but that is what makes it funny, no?

Probably not.

Our adventure starts on Thursday because it can. As I’ve said a few times (I think?) since being laid off most days blur into one another. Basically my week consists of three days now: Monday, Friday and Sunday.

Jimi’s unemployment week study guide:

Monday registers for 2 reasons: I file my weekly claim for unemployment and Monday Night Raw (Wrestling comes on)

Friday: Because the wife is all “I’m soo glad it’s the weekend” This day is also known as the start of the ‘often having to wear pants period’

Sunday: The wife says “I don’t want to go back to work tomorrow.” This is also the beginning of the “not having to put pants on period.”

Anypantless back to Thursday. The Three Shillelaghs headed over to the Cinematheque for the Marx Brothers Monkey Business. This was the movie that brought the wife over to the good side when it comes to The Marx Brothers. It also I believe cemented her love for Harpo.

What’s not to love?


Honk. Honk.

This newfound enjoyment of the Marx Brothers has spawned a possible Halloween costume. We could be the three Marx Brothers. Wifey: Harpo. Lindsay: Groucho and Me: Karl.

I’m not explaining that joke. You either get it or can Google that shit.

Friday night the wifey and I had dinner at her dad’s house. It was a good time and delicious dinner as usual. From there we headed over to the movie theatre to watch ‘Inception’ I saw three people I use to work with and 1 of them actually tried to talk to me which you know sucked. After an appropriate amount of jokes about having our minds being blown and the previews we enjoyed the movie-thoroughly.

Can I just say ‘The Town’ with Ben Affleck looks painfully bad?

Saturday I got to go back to my no pants wearing for most of the day. I relaxed at home and worked on some writing and what not. The wife spent some time with her mom and sis. That night we went to see BOOBIES! We went to Touch Supper Club to see some Burlesque.

Or as it was saved in my calendar: TATAS!

I should have taken some pics but it was a good time and there were lots of boobies! Big and naked ones! Wooo! Okay I’m done. I won’t really go into too much detail about the show cus the wife is going to review it. I will say the venue left a lot to be desired. It was tiny (That’s what she said!) and cramped and not run too smoothly.

Sunday was a nice lazy (mostly) Sunday with the wife. We lounged on the couch drinking coffee and reading together. After that we headed to the store and then again over to her dad’s house. Now since both he and her step mom are retired they got involved with the local Democrat movement. The wife (as am I) is happy about this because they wanted to do something and stay active. This led though to the wife roping me into some stuff. She agreed to help them do some canvassing. Which you know could suck and all that. Perhaps a longer post will come about that because it was definitely interesting.

From there we ran off to scott’s (clevoplanner) for a “tweetup”/ house warming bbq. It was a good time to just sit outside and chat with people. A beer in hand is always a good thing. We got to meet some people we’ve talked to on twitter. It was a good time—never going to complain when I’m surrounded by a whole lot of lovely chicks. There were more people not from twitter there and it was funny how things shaped up:


There was a hilarious separation between the two sets. Yes that picture confirms that all tweeters look alike.

All in all a good weekend.

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