The recap where I’m lazy

August 30, 2010

The weekend has once again come and passed. I didn’t want Monday to show its face and ruin everything. I dreaded it all night. Okay pause. I just wanted all you employed folk to feel better about your dreading and dragging. Me? I’m sitting here in my boxers sipping coffee and listening to the radio. What is Monday?
Anyunemployed the weekend was not really filled at all. I think I left the apartment 3 times since Friday.
Yeah I’m lazy I’ve learned to love and accept it. Saturday we headed over to Astound! to finally make our comic book run and I had 40 bucks of comic books waiting for me.

Friday meant it was time to see Lou Motherflipping Barlow. The show rocked the Grog for something like 2 hours. It was awesome. It was way fun to hang with Silliebean and the lovely Camilla. It was fun yelling “do it” at Lou Barlow with her. It was also fun to hear her heckle someone she likes.

Good times.

Such as silliebean leaning in and telling Camilla’s friend that she heard that the people from Great Lakes Brewing Company are dicks and he replied:

I work there.

It was awesome! Now pictures:

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Yeah that’s all. I did say I was lazy. If you haven’t read the other story from Friday night read it here.

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The one with the guy who thought he was smooth

August 28, 2010

No it’s not me. I know I’m not smooth.

At least not 100 % of the time.

The following takes place at the Lou Barlow and the Missing Men show at the Grog Shop. It really has nothing to do with the show itself. That post will come later. The story is about a guy. A guy who clearly thinks he is smooth with women but most clearly is not. He was as generic normal looking as the next college guy hitting up a show at the grog shop.

(I’m pretty sure he practices fist pumping in the mirror.)

AnyJerseyShoreReference I was in the men’s bathroom when I first encountered the tool young man—oh who am I kidding he was a tool. I was at one of the three urinals making a sissy (ha take that wife!) and there was another guy at another one.

Side note: The grog means bathroom is set up so that there are 2 urinals on one wall and a 3rd directly on the opposite wall. Here crappy drawing to confuse and horrify you:

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So keep that horrible paint shop chicken scratch in mind. So Douche O’Tool saunters on into the bathroom. There is a guy washing his hands and (as said before) two urinals being used. I’m at urinal A and there is a skinny dude at Urinal C. Now the quarters are close but unless you are precious (bad form peter) or fat bastard you can get in there easily. You know in and to the urinal without you know touching another dude and becoming gay because of it. He says:

O’Tool: Woah! A line in here what is this the woman’s room?

(No line not sure what he was talking about.)

O’Tool: I’m not going to that urinal and that guy is at the sink or I’d pee there.

At this point someone comes in and O’Tool says to him:

O’Tool: You see that chicks tits?

Guy: No, who?

O’Tool: Some chick out there.

So now I go to wash my hands and he runs to the urinal and pees. As I finish and leave he zips ups and hurriedly squeezes past me. As he does a girl is rounding the corner to go to the ladies room. She is wearing a cool Dinosaur Jr. Tee:

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He stops her as she reaches the door.

O’Tool: That’s a dope shirt.

Chick: Thanks.

O’Tool: That’s a shirt that says “date me” all over it.

Chick: No thanks.

(She pushes door open.)

O’Tool: Hey mebbe we can xchange digits?

Chick: I don’t know about that.

O’Tool: Oh. You want me to wait out here?

(She goes inside the bathroom)

Yeah that actually happened. And yes I actually stopped to listen to this—pretending that I was texting someone—because I knew O’Tool wouldn’t let me down.

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My wife will punch you in the kidney or the Dinosaur Jr. Show

November 23, 2009

On Friday there were Dinosaurs in Cleveland!

No not that—thankfully. Wow that show was so damn bad. God I hated that baby. It made me want to build a time machine or (buy a DeLorean) so I could go back in time and punch baby Dinosaurs in the face. Anydooozle….Back to the Dinosaurs at the Grog Shop okay technically it was Dinosaur Jr. You know these guys:

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Errr actually these guys:

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A slightly older version, but they sort of prove the fine wine theory. That’s right in my vague, way off the beaten path way I’m saying that Friday the missus and I went to the Dinosaur Jr. show. It had been a long time coming—In more ways than one. Dinosaur Jr. was one of my fav bands as a ute (OH snap a My Cousin Vinny reference!), and a clear inspiration to Kurt and Nirvana. I of course like too many bands never got to see them. Then they disbanded in 97. What is this a history lesson in Dinosaur Jr.? Screw that go do your own leg work! It’s called Google people! We bought the tickets for the show like 6 years ago (more like June or so) but it seemed to take forever to arrive. So the big night approaches and how do we prepare for it? Well none other than the Rock mantra of sex and drugs! Yeah that’s right the wife and I got home from work and took a nap! Now that’s a swerve! Could I use anymore exclamation points? We slept for about two hours and then headed over to the show. The place was packed with a unique mixture of cool 40 year olds, teens and the douche kind of 30-40 year olds (The “I was at their first show man” types.) We survived the wannabe Dresden Dolls band that opened for them—who were a lot better (read as not as sucky) than their MySpace page led us to believe. As the band took the stage what happened? A herd of mutant giraffes swooped in front of us. Fuckers. I mean we are smurfs here and from where they were there was no real difference of sliding in front of us on the d-low. I’m pretty sure they were just 12 year olds on steroids! Here are the results of part of the show being behind these urban Giraffes. You know the hold the camera high over ya head and wave it like you just don’t care and snap away?

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Then we were invited in front of some cool people (and fellow smurf people) Side note: God damn you Microsoft Word acknowledge Smurf is a fucking word!

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Anydiddle. This is when the shit hit the fan and got fun. Nearing the end of the 2 hour show the moshing began. Nothing is lamer than old farts and young idiots slamming into each other. So as this got out of control (when is it in control) my wife decided to police it. You know my tiny barely 5’2 wife? Then the smurfettes that were alongside of us were inspired by her spunk and decided to chip in. First they just pushed the idiots away but this of course made the idiots think they were playing along. Enter the kidney punching. There really is nothing as hilarious as three short girls punching giants in the kidneys, backs, and necks. It was sort of hot too.

A crude recreation of the event:

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