The one where I say somethings but not really

June 30, 2010

So I’ve been bad at this jive lately. I admit I’ve been rather absent. I know there have been all sorts of rumors going around.

(I know there weren’t any rumors just play along sheesh!)

Like:

Reading ‘On the Road’ so many (9) times finally got to me and I ran off for the rails.
Or
I got a job as a male escort and was too embarrassed to tell anyone.
Or
I fell into a World Cup coma.
Or
I devoted all my time to charities out of the goodness of my heart.

Well let me address each one of these. I have read ‘On the Road’ a lot (like I said 9 times) and each time I sort of get the desire to run off, but I’d miss my wife too much. What you can’t run off and bring a family! Next up don’t be silly nobody would want me as a male escort and if I did get that job I’d be all up in your grills about it bitches. This one is close. I mean I was a zombie. I really didn’t want to do anything but enjoy the world cup. I watched every second of every match until my sister flew in from the 305 and messed it all up. I keed love ya sis! The last one—yeah right—can you see that? Let’s be honest Lou you paid for the women (Yeah vague movie reference! Anyone but my wife gets that and I’ll give you a prize!) I’m a dick. I’m somewhere between the characters of Seinfeld and Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

You want the truth?

I was off on a very dangerous and secret safari. I can’t tell you where but I can prove it:

Hark I’ve spotted the beast over yonder! Behold the wonder!

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But then tragedy struck:

I was all zounds the beast is upon me!

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Have no fear your selfless hero was not injured in the making of said pictures. To be honest I started writing this post a few hours ago and stopped to look for jobs. I have no real firm idea where I was going with this. That’s okay I’m witty and smooth. This isn’t my first post I can handle this.

Think.
Be witty.
Oh I just remembered I uh left my iron on gotta run….

I really would have love to finish this post right there. It would have been mad funny yo. I’ve been busy watching the World Cup and entertaining my sister. That is why I’ve been bad but you already knew that.
I think the real reason for this post was simply to post those highly comical poses.

Did it work?
No?
Oh …crap I just realized I left the oven on!

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Post it Note Tuesday: Let’s get dangerous.

March 16, 2010

Okay so I’m going to go all Darkwing Duck on you here and say: Let’s get complainy. I know Darkwing Duck’s catch phrase was “Let’s get dangerous” and not let’s get complainy. I also know that complainy really isn’t a word.

Oh man I just realized most of you probably won’t get the Darkwing Duck reference.

Sad.

Oh well. Either way here is your Post it Notes for this Tuesday Enjoy these (probably not: I wouldn’t blame ya) and if you want to read some more just clicky click the pic below. If you want to make your own go here.

Now that the advertising for the lovely supah is done let me get down to the business of being whiney awesome:

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Yeah this one sort of speaks for itself. I lurve my new iphone.

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So there is this train whistle like noise that goes off somewhere near our apartment like every 5 minutes. Have no idea what the hell it is. I may have to take a walk to explore.

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I’ve been reading ‘On the Road’ again by Jack Kerouac. This of course leads me to want to ride the rails and hitch the country.

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Speaking of reading I finally found a copy of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. I’ve read it before but really needed to own it and thanks to Half Price Books I now do.

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Apparently I’m a (co)director now. We had our first meeting/read through last night. I’m a bit freaked out but you know that’s probably a good thing. That may

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I complain about commercials a lot in these but for some reason those “Crazy King” commercials from Burger King really piss me off. I don’t know why it just does.

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Now I’m all for nostalgia. I mean its part of the reason I still watch wrestling is the fact that I watched it with my mom when I was younger. The Nasty Boys were great then but these days they sort of flop around like manatees who had bad knees surgically attached but don’t know how to use them.

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Day 1 of unemployment was really uneventful. This is especially true in terms of writing. I didn’t work on anything. Hell I didn’t even write a blog post. That will simply have to change.


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