the one with art

October 8, 2013

Once when attempting to get into the building for a show my play was a part of this happened.

them: are you one of the artists?
me: Yes I’m the playwright.
them: so you aren’t an artist?
me:  that’s debatable.

Well jokes on you sucker because now I’m an artist too. That’s right Cleveland not only do I write bad blogs, poetry and plays but now I make bad art too.

As of late I’ve seen things…

(Dead people)

differently. Not every flash of an idea is solely on the stage or a poem. I’ve become fascinated by how objects can change words. My first foray was for the staff art show. The name of the piece is Hope Springs.


Hope Springs



That’s right I have a piece of art in the Cleveland Museum of Art. The staff art show is up through December. Check it out because we have some talented artist there.

And then there is the Altered Octavos show.

This month in celebration of Octavofest, Loganberry Books is holding an altered book show/contest called Altered Octavos.  The show is up now in their Annex gallery and runs through October.

For my piece, Jesus Always Bets The Over, I turned a bible into a reliquary.

Jesus Always Bets The Over

It explores how football has become the new religion. Apparently cutting up a bible is still shocking to people. The show is pretty sweet and has two other Museum employees. Loganberry Books is awesome. If you get a chance stop by and check it out.

You can even vote for the pieces you like.




What I learned from last week

September 21, 2009

We all learn from our mistakes right? Our daily can impart valuable and useful information sometimes. People at work think I’m this whimsical fun loving rapscallion and for the most part that can be true. I’m a firm believer of just fucking do it and if people wanna look at you like you’ve lost your marbles just scream “take a picture it’ll last longer!” or “yeah I’ve lost my marbles and now I can’t fly!” Yes a vague Hook reference in the middle of a random post. How awesome is that? Where was I (and why is that question so common in my blogs?) Be random, be weird wait I wasn’t totally going for that. Scratch that…well no don’t scratch it but I mean I can be very calculating in my fun and antics. I can also be very somber and low key. I think things through and well quite often regret things. I mean it is a real problem. I regret things I’ve said in the fucking sixth grade. I stay up late at night being chase by demons of yester year. This is probably better left for another post though—you know the I regret things too much post. Aren’t you excited for it? Anyways the point is we can all learn from what happens day in day out. It may be don’t go to that bar again, or stay away from so and so, or I really liked putting that pig nose on and drinking heavily. It can lead to the discovery of small things that we really like, and here at the cheap seats we’re all about the small things. Damn walked right into that one! So dear reader if you aren’t totally confused, put off or ready to leave the blog because of this rambling inconsistent intro read on!

What I learned from last week:

You can get a piece of glass stuck in your finger while only working with produce.

Apparently fights on twitter aren’t only for football players and celebrities.

That caramel apple coffee creamer from coffeemate is so so. Taste good but wouldn’t be my first choice.

N.P.H is enough to get me to watch The Emmy’s instead of Sunday Night Football, even if it’s the only time I’ll get to watch NFL football.

My employers must hate me. I mean fairness in scheduling includes working every Sunday for the past month though they know I need Sunday off, and closing every night next week.

My wife (@kittenkaboom) wears her heart on her sleeve and I love her for it. She also wears her heart on her sleeve when it comes to picking NFL games. She picks the Browns to win repeatedly.

That a smiley emoticon means nothing anymore.

That cuddling in bed with the wife on a mild Saturday afternoon while watching soccer is one of the best ways to spend my time. It’s true even if she was sleeping the whole time.

Handmade “We want Freejack” tee shirts are just plain awesome.


we want freejack

The fact that the wife would make them/wear one even though she hasn’t even seen the movie is just another sign of how awesome she is.

We want Freejack!

It is okay to hope the N.Y. Jets win if and only if they are helping to knock the New England Patriots off their pedestal for a bit. They’re both wankers though.

Eating once a day is a pretty easy way to lose weight. It however is probably not too smart.

Those asking to have some sort of produce reduced are rarely young and attractive.

My obsession with Spider-Man goes as far as almost picking up a (probably) dirty plastic bag because he’s on it. Also there was once a Spider-Man book bag (very small child’s) thrown in the bushes and I pondered picking it up. I didn’t because I was positive it’d end up being some kidnapped kid’s bag and I’d be arrested.

I’ve got a very active imagination.

International talk like a pirate day is vastly underrated in its awesomeness.

That when stressed out it always manifest itself in my neck. A very large amount of pain shows up in my neck when stressed out. I think this pain in my neck is a metaphor for people I work with.

I don’t deal well with change (at least of the work variety)

When an alcoholic continually makes jokes about being an alcoholic it gets very creepy.

I care way too much about a place that doesn’t really care all that much about me.

I actually really wish I was still in school.

I miss the effort, work, thought and camaraderie that comes with a stage production.

That it took me about 5 years to figure out how to spell camaraderie.

How big a nerd I really am. As I read Green Lantern Blackest Night I totally geeked out when Aquaman rose from the dead to join the ranks of the Black Lanterns.

That half the people who read the above statement probably has no clue what it means.

I waste entirely too much coffee trying to drink it while writing. If I’m actually writing it just sits there and gets old and cold.

Making breakfast and letting it sit next to you for an hour while you work on your script does not equal eating it.

I’m really looking forward to going to see the Columbus Crew twice in one month.

I’ve always become a snob as to where I sit but only when it comes to soccer. I can sit in the nose bleed sections for anywhere else, but have become accustomed to great seats for soccer.

When I haven’t seen l-rizz in a long time I get all out of whack and down.

Thankfully Linzi and the wife are pretty good at combating that.

I haven’t introduced myself as Jacob in a long long time.

That I’ve neglected Stiller’s Cleve-o tour greatly

tre country

That this probably doesn’t replace a thoughtful real post.

*Anyone who gets the Stiller Reference (not already in the know) will totally get some sort of prize*

So what did you learn from last week?

Top Ten Commercial list

March 13, 2009

This post has been a long time in the writing phase or in other words it was left in my blog folder to rot but here it is. Commercials can be really good or really bad. I’m going to focus on the good right now (spoiler alert worst commercial blog coming up soon.) Now these are the best commercials no debating needed (I mean in my opinion of course) that are from between 2006 and last year. Totally separate from the likes of the McDonald’s Filet o’ Fish ad of 2009 that would blow away the competition.

10. Brooke Shields Routan boom.

There’s an epidemic spreading and its hilarity. This commercial wrapped in the guise of a PSA was just the beginning. It was on the bubble but when I read so many nuts being angered by it, I just knew it had to crack my top ten.

9. Espn Monday Night Football Mc Hammer.

ESPN may do many bad things (read force feed us Chris Berman) but they hit the mark with a few of the MNF commercials. How can you go wrong with MC Hammer? It needs to be on here for the “Hammer don’t hurt him” line. Oh and Hammer just so you know it wasn’t my beeper that kept on beeping and beeping.

8. Jack Links Beef Jerky Messing with Sasquatch

One thing is for sure the creators weren’t messing around when they came up with this little gem. The whole set of “messing with sasquatch” ads are great. I went with the old shaving cream on the hand gag one because of its educational value. It can help sure that future generations know a classic way to get their sleep deprived friends. Just make sure if you do that they can’t clothesline you into next week.

7. Warren Wallace “into the wall” GEICO

Now I’m not a fan of racing but this commercial transcends it. This commerical came to win. The kid in it plays the lines beautifully. Well written and at least the gecko isn’t in them. “When it comes to Mike Wallace the story ends with me putting him into the wall.”

6. Mr. T World of Warcraft

Much like with MC Hammer one can never go wrong with putting Mr. T in a commercial. If this was a top ten of video game commercials list this one would beat down the competition. You never know Mr. T “may be pretty handy when it comes to computers.” I do know that I pity the fool who doesn’t think this commercial is funny.

5. Bruce Campbell “hungry like a wolf” Old spice

Bruce Campbell. Nothing more needs to be said.

4. Sony HD tv “I don’t like sports”

 It gets points from the get go for use of person in animal costume. The San Diego Chicken and Peyton Manning in one commercial is almost too much to handle. Their bit may end with “Chicken No!” but I’m say commercial yes!

3. N.P.H old spice commercial Neil Patrick Harris. What more can you ask for? This commercial is perscription strength awesome!

2. Berries and cream

Ah starburst makes an appearance. Their commercials are as off the wall as anyones. This is just plain awesome. You want a laugh or just odd looks break out with “I’m a little lad who loves berries and cream”. Brilliant I tell you! “Pardon me what kind of starburst did you just say? Ber…berries and what else?” I wasn’t a fan of the berries and cream starburst but I’m a little lad that loves berries and cream commercial!

1. Skittles singing rabbit

This just may be the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. It has it all. Culture (the opera singing) use of animals, emotion (the pain of losing his skittles) tension (will he get them back?) and even action (running in the rain). Hell even a bit o violence (the rabbit really gets him good).Skittles probably need to be crowned Kings of the commercial world. Now this one in particular gets special treatment for the sentimental value it has (we imitated the bunny all throughout or VACA in Chicago.) It wins mostly because there is a singing rabbit and there will never be a time I won’t laugh when seeing it. Plus the bunny bites him at the end!

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