Cupids, Cigars, and Meat or a weekend recap

April 29, 2013

THIS IS A WEEKEND RECAP
THIS IS A WEEKEND RECAP
YEAH!
THIS IS A WEEKEND RECAP
THIS IS A WEEKEND RECAP
YEAH!
I BET YOU’VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT A WEEKEND RECAP WOULD LOOK LIKE
WELL THIS IS WHAT A WEEKEND RECAP LOOKS LIKE
YEAH!
I FORGOT TO TAKE ANY PICTURES
WELL THERE ARE TWO PICTURES!
YEAH
THIS IS A WEEKEND RECAP!
MY WEEKENDS ARE VERY BORING!
YEAH

Hopefully you’ve stopped reading after that painful intro. There really isn’t all that much to read. Saturday we spent most of the day at home. There was one executive decision made: Dandelion wine will be made this year. I looked up recipes and everything. Hell, I pinned something on Pinterest. The goal is to start now and let it sit for a year. This time next year I’ll be sipping Dandelion wine while reading Dandelion wine.

Ray Bradbury is so thug life.

At some point the wife’s mom stopped over to help us with our garden. There are lots of things popping up. Hyacinths, Grape Hyacinths, Roses, Tulips and more! We are very excited but also have no clue what we are doing. But we’re trying Ringo.

Yeah vague Pulp Fiction reference!

Eventually we headed off. First stop was Pelvic Joann’s. Then we headed to Ohio City Burrito because we were all starving. There Kat did the weird thing of ordering chips but no salsa or even Guacamole.

Weird.

Next was the ever awesome West Side Market. It’s always such a fun, colorful time there. I’ve managed to resist the urge to mess with them as they carnival bark out to you. There’s a vendor there named Jim’s Meats. Which lead to this:

Wifey: Heh. Jim’s meats.
Me: Don’t worry you’ll load up on Jimi’s meat later.
Wifey: Really?

Next up was the Thrift Store. I was good (Read: boring) and only looked for work stuff.

Okay I looked for a tweed jacket. I always do.  No luck but there was this:

photo (7)

Then we went to Cigar Cigars in Ohio City. I needed to pick up a reward cigar. Why? Well, because my play was picked to be in a play festival. I found out about a line of cigars named Hemingway. Those seemed like the clear choice.  They’re made by Arturo Fuente Cigar Company. Luckily they had some. So I picked up The AF Hemingway Short Story and their Flor Fina 8-5-8 Maduro.

cigars

Can you guess which one is the short story?

Sunday was filled with work and steak. I really do love my job but there is one gallery that makes me think twice about it. That is the early European: French/Dutch galleries. I dig the stuff in them. It has to do with the sensors around the art and MOSTLY the dummies that set them off. OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER—Sorry. I of course was in those galleries Sunday. It was getting bad when this happened.

A kid about 7 years old came into the gallery with his parents. As he looked at the art he slowly started giving them all the stink eye. Then he saw “Cupids in Conspiracy.”

cupids

Stopped.

And said:  “This place is disgusting, look at those butts.”

Needless to say it helped me get through the day. I had hoped to see The Rizza that night but fate intervened. There was plenty of delicious food made by the wifey.

steak

Balsamic steak wraps and mashed potatoes. YUM! How was your weekend?


The one where I get a handy on stage

December 20, 2010

Sunday bloody Sunday….no you didn’t accidentally come across Bono or the edges secret blog.

(I imagine their blog would consist solely of them repeating lyrics and giving grooming tips.)

One of these days I’ll figure out why I use parenthesis for statements like that.

Can he stop making the same joke every post?

(I dunno can i?)

Probably not. This weekend was all about the live shows it seems. Friday I went (all by myself. Sniff Sniff) to a wrestling show. It was held in a church banquet/bingo hall in Lakewood. The show was AIWs (Absolute Intense Wrestling) Nightmare before X-Mas 4. It was a good time and has its own story that sometime soon will be up here. Saturday night the wifey and I went to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat at the Beck Center. The show was decent but also not the point of this post.

What is the point you ask? I’m not sure there really ever is a point.

Anypointless the next thing we attended was a dinner theatre production of A Christmas Carol. This was way out in Geneva. Now I am not a big fan of A Christmas Carol. I mean not play or movie wise. I’m tired of it. I don’t need to see it again—ever. If it isn’t Scrooged I really don’t need to see it ever again.

Now her dad and stepmom didn’t know this. They just wanted to share something they enjoyed and thought was great. They’ve been to the place that does the dinner theatre on numerous occasions. One of which was a Poe themed one that they rave about and continually say how they wish I could’ve been there. They care. They know how important theatre is in our (wife and I) lives and it’s done with love. So you know when they wanted us to go to a show there I was willing to. I mean it would be an easy way to make them happy and they’ve done so much for me.

Oh it’s for A Christmas Carol? Damn.

Okay fine fine. It’ll make them happy. Then it happened that I would be out of time. Darn. The wife would be attending without me. It happens. They’d still be happy to go with her. Then it turns out that I would be in town and they could get us all tickets.

Damn.

Oh well you know bite the bullet and all that jazz. I was prepared to go once. Okay I’m in. They are buying after all. I do preach supporting live. Wait Sunday at 2pm? Like during the Browns game?

DAMN.

Okay. I can handle it. That’s fine. We drive up there—which was no picnic—and had to listen to Christmas music most of the ride up. Then we got the Browns game on the radio and it was okay. We get there and are seated and what not. You know at tables with other people.

Aw crap.

Oh well nice people I’m sure and at least they aren’t trying to talk to me. Oh man why does the kid have to sit next to me? Oh booze. Hello. First up I had a white Christmas: Makers Mark bourbon and eggnog. Yummy.
Oh what is this? A drink called The Ghost of Christmas Past.

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This included 7 different liquors that I can’t tell you because I left my program in the wifeys purse. I can tell you that there 2 different kind of rums in it. Whatever. They only let you get 2 per guest. The wife wouldn’t let me drink more than 2 drinks.

(Buzz Kill huh? Go here and tell her that.)

Anydrinky soon the show started. Well actually the play went on in scenes (most do) and then there would be a different course given. The food was delicious—or at least very good. Then they started bring audience into the play for certain scenes.

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

Can you guess what eventually happened?

(Go on try.)

Yeah yours truly was chosen. Really bad choice because they were lucky I didn’t stab them with my fork. I went up angrily but you know willing to not give the actors shit. They have enough to deal with no? I was up there with my Cleveland City Stars scarf just hoping for it to be over. Apparently the wifey took a picture of me up there looking pissed but she has not given or even shown me it.

(Oh well.)

AnyfuckingParenthesis so there I am up there. They pass out birthday hats with numbers on them. The numbers are 1-12. Yep they want us to help them do the 12 days of Christmas. I was number 4. So they explain that we have to come up with a sound and noise associated with the number we had. I was 4 calling birds. As they worked on what some people would say (most peeps attention were on them and the group) something amazing happened. I of course was standing next to #3. I was on stage and she was on the floor next to me. She did her little French hen thing—which would be saying oui oui and doing some hand motions—and then she lost her balance.

She flailed. She grabbed for anything to catch her balance. Her hand went back and she grabbed my junk.
I mean this as literally as possible. A great big handful of jimis oui oui. And she held on to it too. For about 15-20 seconds before looking back and realizing it. She let go and mumbled something. Yeah.

Then we did are little 12 days rendition. Like a billion times. What was my thing?

Well I was 4 calling birds and when it came to me I waved and said:

“Hey birds.”

The people they laughed. Each and every time I did that. The in-laws totally got a kick out of it and repeated it often.


the one where we cram it all in

July 20, 2010

Thats what she said!

There are a lot of bloggers out there that post a weekly recap of their weekend. It usually involves going to a lot of cool places with their friends. I am not one of them. Mostly because you know I like to make shit up.

That and I don’t really go out partying it up on the town. We do a lot of stuff. We like to celebrate the things to do in Cleveland and there are a ton of things. There are slow days for us and then there are times where we go to a play, dinner, a concert and a movie in one day. If need be we just cram it all in.

That’s what she said.

This weekend was one of those times. Friday there was what the kids are calling these days a “tweetup”. It was called the east-side tweetup and was held at the Willoughby Brewing Company. We were invited and you know went and stuff.

Oh was that not good enough? See I’m bad at this. The Three Shillelaghs headed over to Willoughby Brewing Company. Hilarity sort of ensued. I was still sort of limping. The pain in my heel had mostly subsided by then. We parked and then started walking toward the restaurant. We didn’t even get across the street when the wifey’s (kat clearly) flip flop broke. The back part just fell right off. Just as she walked it fell off and as she marveled about it and tried to walk on the rest of the shoe died. We walked on discovered it was further than we thought went back and got the car. Drove to it found there was absolutely nowhere to park and ended up parking right by where we originally did. She had to basically walk with the shoe in her hand the whole way and then fake like it was on to get inside.

The night was cool and met some new peeps which always a good thing. I wasn’t that impressed with the menu (though did not have anything) and the apps were expensive. The jack and ginger was tall and that good. The waitress was pretty awesome even if she got sort of busy and there were a few times I sat there like this:

‘more jack daniels please”

But you know more desperate sounding. All in all a good time was had. After we left we stopped and got us some Chick-fil-A. Yum.

Saturday was such a full day that the wifey made an itinerary. I never actually saw it but I’ve heard it did exsist. The Three Shillelaghs packed the car and headed on down to Akron for the:
National Hamburger Festival

Yay.
It was so hot.
(how hot was it)

It was so hot that on the way there a minivan caught on fire. Okay so that probably isn’t true. A minivan was on fire on the opposite way as we drove to Akron though. It was hot as all get out while at the festival that consisted of a bunch of places to get hamburgers for a 2 block radius. I was sort of disappointed by it. I mean it was cool and all but it lacked stuff. The only merch were shirts and Jughead comic books. A vast majority of the events seemed to be taking place at night and we’d have to be gone way before then to keep our schedule. I was going to attempt to be in the bobbing for burgers contest but oh well.

There was this:

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That’s right there was a Barney Fife look alike walking around the festival. How awesome is that? Also as we approached he yelled out:

“I’m Barney Fife bitches! What mofo wanna take a picture with me?”

Ok not really but I almost asked him if he would. Later he threatened to arrest us if we tried to sneak back in. The burgers were tasty and the one we got was from Steel Trolley Diner. Their banner said get your burger branded. I ordered the Marley Burger: A ½ pound burger topped with Jamaican jerk sauce and Orange chipotle mayo. It was tasty and they indeed did “brand” your burger. Unfortunate (or hilarious) they have std as their initials.

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Yes my burger said STD on it and I still ate it.

We left there and went home to nap for a little bit. Then we hit up the Cleveland Cinematheque for Animal Crackers. After some Marx Brothers brilliance we ate some Aladdin’s and then hit up Parnell’s Pub for some x-mas in July. It was for Thirsty Dog’s 12 dogs of Christmas Ale. Tasty! Then I had one tall Jack and Ginger. From there we headed over to the Capitol Theatre to see the late shift showing of Memento. It had been a while since I’d seen it and I really looked forward to it. On the way there the wife tried to destroy the happiness that is the Marx Bros. by saying they were probably very unhappy. This discussion went up until the movie started and included several other people getting involved. Then I won tickets to see the late shift showing of Pulp Fiction.

Sunday was a more relaxed. The wifey headed over to her mom’s house to do laundry and thesis work. I stayed home wrote some and watched soccer for a bit. Then I watched George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead. It was decent. I was preparing for Monday’s viewing of Survival of the Dead. Later that night we went to a new Indian Restaurant called Indian Flame. It was delish. A review with pictures will be written soon as we go a second time.

Monday we went to breakfast and then picked up Lindsay. We headed over to the zoo to enjoy free day. It was pretty sweet even if it was packed and my heel was hurting again.
The wife and I on the Australian adventure train:

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It was fun but got weird when the driver said:
‘Oh my mate lookit the kangaroo ova there. Ain’t she a beaut? Why I’d like to stick me little dingaroo in her pouch. Boomerang bitches”

All that but you know with an Australian accent or you know probably not at all.

We encountered a lady wearing leggings that looked like jeans as jeans. It was not pretty and I wasn’t fast enough to snap a picture. Later on the wife and Lindsay marveled at the Rhino’s dong.
After that we went home for some resting and lunch. I almost set the apartment on fire. I forgot the package my Sammy was in had metal like shit inside and yeah it started to burn in the microwave. After a nap that did nothing for us we headed out to see Survival of the Dead which was pretty good.

Damn I’m tired.

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Jimi say what?

June 10, 2010

There is no tmi Thursday today. I’ll pause for the mass exodus. I had a few maybes to write for the much celebrated (thanks to the lovely Lilu) TMI Thursday, but they need to be finely crafted. I hadn’t flushed (haha) them out quite yet and well I want them to be good. There is a quality (even if a dubious one) that is expected from my tmi posts. This is mostly due to worrying about the lack of job, thinking of the world cup, and freaking out about being dubbed “the watch killer”.

The first two are pretty self explanatory but I’ll explain (the jimiverse requires this often) the being dubbed “the watch killer” thing. If you are the angry emailer you probably won’t find this part funny. Okay it probably isn’t funny anyways but whatever. You see as the wife and I walked to our apartment she found a watch on the floor. Not an overly expensive one probably about 20-30 bucks. She picked it up and then handed it off to me. I took it and just kept on walking and talking. When we got home I dropped it on the Buddha table and thought nothing of it. A little bit later I saw it and said:

“Oh great we brought this watch in here and now I’m probably linked to some guys murder. I have his watch. I’m going to be known as the watch killer.”

We both sort of laughed. I of course went on to imagine the manhunt and media coverage but again that is neither here nor there.

Where exactly are we if none of what I’m saying is here nor there?

Anyconfusion instead I thought I’d take the time to talk about my loverly wife. Well sort of. Last night we went to Tommy’s for dinner with her mom and sister. It was to celebrate her sister’s birthday. It was a nice little dinner (Tommy’s generally is.) even if I didn’t go into Mac’s Backs to look at the books. That is neither here nor there. We sat around a bit and talked nicely.

No milkshakes were consumed.

Anymissingshake as we walked home I called my sister so I could say happy birthday to my nephew. He turned 13! He is officially a teen. I hopethe rebelling commences I mean I hope he enjoys the teens. Now to many this would spark the “oh god I’m so old” statements. Nope. What did happen was me thinking:

“Damn Chicago won their last NBA title 13 years ago.”

You see I remember being in the waiting room (for some reason I typed locker room) of the hospital watching the NBA Finals game. I have three very vivid memories left from this night (not in this order):

1. A steal Jordan made.
2. The father being a complete tool (as usual)
3. Holding my nephew and being scared shitless.

This like the rest of the post is neither here nor there. See kiddies consistency is key when it comes to things like this. I stick to my shtick bitches. Did you check out that alliteration? That is why I’m a poet people! It was about the wifey and that I found this:

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YEEHAW! I’m not being mean. I find it to be adorable but that doesn’t take away the humor of it. Ok so as we were eating I said something. I don’t truly remember what it was but it was semi funny and I suppose a little vague. The rest of the table just sort of stared at me and then the wifey jumped on in and explained it.
She then said:

“Aren’t you glad I’m here to explain things?”

Now I’m glad that I have her for many many things. Hell some of them are not even related to sex. Sorry it was just too easy. A gear sort of clicked then in my head just how much a role she plays as translator for me. On here (and twitter) there are a great number of you who get and enjoy my humor but out there the herd thins out a lot. I’m still pretty sure at least 76% of the people I meet don’t get me. Not because I’m funnier (I am!) or better but because I tend to be dry and vague. On more than one occasion she’s had to stop to answer the “what does he mean?” question. When I talk this is often the scene:

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She gets that half of the things are quotes or references from a few select movies. You may have noticed I do that a lot. Hell she enjoys that half the time the stories are about something I imagined to happen. The loverly wife doesn’t even bat an eye lash when the quote or reference only has the slimmest of connections to the topic. She may have gotten use to it but honestly I don’t remember there ever being a period where she didn’t get it.

I like to have an apostrophe now and again. Like lightning striking me brain.

(Hook bitches watch it!)

I like to be reminded every now and again that if not for my dearest silliebean (the dickens’ out of them)

Nobody would get me.

Yeah Scrooged reference in the middle of June!

Ahem yes the point is if she didn’t get me nobody would.There is no manual for me—though I can give you a list of books, shows and movies to watch that’ll help. Just sit back and enjoyed the ride.

And if you have any questions ask her.


AMP 150 amps up the taste

March 5, 2010

A wise man once said “It’s all in the reflexes.” If good ole Jack Burton was right well then the wife and I may be in trouble, depending on what you choose to call reflexes. Does it come to seeing movies in a timely matter? We’ve been known to let things get in the way of watching a netflixed (did I make that word up?) movie. Or then there is this: Big Trouble in Little China. It’s a wonderful flick (from which I lifted the above quote) starring Kurt Russell. The wifey and friendy had never seen it and I insisted they must. I purchased the movie like 2 years ago, but did we ever get around to seeing it? Nope. Then the Cedar Lee announced it was showing it on the big screen as part of its cult movie series. See it took us two years to get around to seeing a movie we owned.

What does this have to do with a review of Amp 150? It was a long time coming. Why? Well we like many a humanoid let living life get in the way of well living it. So it took a whole lot of planning and mishaps before we actually made it over to the restaurant. Well that and I like to quote and reference movies in vague ways…you’ll see….

The first obstacle was what I like to call A Cool Hand Luke. And if I’m honest is my fault. I should probably start with what the hell I meant by a Cool Hand Luke. I really hope someone out there gets it. I know my wife won’t because well she’s never seen Cool Hand Luke.

“What we’ve got here is…failure to communicate” is a classic line from a classic movie. Watch now: I’ll wait.

Back? Okay besides being a classic moment it is always what occurred. Someone who I went to school with told me they went to AMP 150 and that it made them think of me. I don’t really remember what it was that made them think about me, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. Anyfoodie I looked it up and of course instantly decided to go there. The food sounded delicious as did the drinks. I filed it away as a must go and then promptly never really mentioned it to my wife at all.

See? A failure to communicate? And you thought I was just random and wouldn’t tie it in some vague, recklessly unnecessary way. What was I doing here again? Oh yeah a review (I promise!) So it slipped my mind until divine twittervention occurred. Twittervention it’s a word look it up. Okay I sorta made it up but still. One day as I was aimlessly checking twitter doing research I saw someone retweet something from @amp150cleveland. The deal was one person would get a free entrée for retweeting it. I of course jump right on that. The only thing I like more than free are vague jokes and movie references. I’ll jump ahead and tell you the obvious I won one of the free entrees. Now with us nothing is ever easy, especially when my work likes to interfere. Setting up a time was difficult because of her classes, my work and other things already planned. After several attempts we got something planned for a nice Sunday night dinner. Only problem was a meeting (for work) was called to inform us that we would in fact be losing our jobs for that night. I did the natural thing: Dinner with my wife. Easy breezy from there right?

Yeah except yahoo maps sucks and had us all backwards, but we eventually found it and 2 separate food comas ensued. We were greeted very nicely and seated before we could even get out the name of the reservation. There were about 3 other parties when we arrived and we were given a nice comfy table to ourselves near the back.

First up the drinks! My wife had the Caipirinha:

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It looked as delicious (though the picture does not do it justice) as it tasted. It’s a Brazilian drink blood orange puree, Bacardi rum, simple syrup. It was very simple and tasty. The wife barely let me have a sip. It had a nice simple sweetness to it. I asked my wife for a description of the taste and this was her response: Heaven. So in case you were wondering heaven is a Brazilian style drink with blood orange puree, Bacardi rum, and simple syrup.

Now my first choice was the Blackberry mojito but unfortunately they were out of blackberries. I quickly went for the Warm House Made Gleuwine. It really hit the spot on a chilly evening. It consisted of Winter Oranges, Cloves, Cinnamon, Red Wine, Brandy. It was delicious and warming. It did have a bit of a heavy taste of red wine (not to me but to my wife) so if you hate red wine this may not before you.

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I had worked all day and hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I wanted to order just about everything on the menu. The wife was just as hungry as me and it was hard to pick what to get. To start off we ordered some fries and bread to share.

The Fries:

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The bread: Well actually we devoured the bread before even thinking of taking a picture of it. It was delicious. There were several slices of warm soft (yet crispy) Artisan bread. The butter was a delightful maple butter that melted in your mouth. I’d be lying if once the bread was done we didn’t each take our fingers and take a dab of the maple butter and eat it by itself. She did it more!

Yes! Throwing the wife under the bus five! No? Okay. Next up were the meals (which we’ve already picked what we would be trying next time) and they were just as good. The waitress was very helpful and knowledgeable. First up is me with the CHICKEN PAILLARD SANDWICH:
Mixed Greens, Lemon Herb Vinaigrette, Brie Cheese, White Truffle Aioli.

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The chicken was so juicy and the lemon herb vinaigrette was the perfect compliment for it. There were about 5 long slices of slightly melted brie cheese on it. At 8 bucks it was a prefect bit of comfort Sammy I needed that night.

The wife could not help but order the HOUSE MADE CORNED BEEF SANDWICH
It came with a nice Swiss Cheese, and Mustard Aioli. It was served on a tasty onion roll. Tasty is hard for me to say because I’m not a fan of onion rolls generally. Here just look at it:

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Both sandwiches were delicious and safe choices for not too bad of a price. We ate until we were stuffed and then the next set of mishaps occurred. None of which was anyone’s fault really just how we roll I guess. We asked to visit with Chef Cooley and unfortunately he wasn’t there because he’s been nothing but great online with us. We wanted to meet and thank him, and then plaster his picture up here. Next up we explained about the free twitter entrée but since our reservation wasn’t checked the note in it was never seen. The waitress (who I repeat was so very nice) checked and came back really apologetically. It wasn’t a bother to us at all but she brought out the Sous Chef Ben. He was very gracious and nice. We talked for a bit and then got him to pose for this:

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He then offered us two desserts on the house! Now we were both stuffed and shot each other a look but we couldn’t say no. I mean 1.) it’s free dessert and 2.) When the chef offers you take it. We hadn’t even glanced at the dessert menu but he said he’d bring us two surprises. For me:

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It was the Pear and Walnut Cobbler and it was served with Saigon cinnamon ice cream. It was the perfect combo of warm vs. cold. The sweet versus the nutty battle raged on. I give it a two thumbs up. Now the wife almost died when she tasted hers.

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Milk Chocolate Pana Cotta. It is a wonderfully layered dish of Salted Caramel, Malted Hazelnut. With each bite you can dip into another layer and be delighted. When asked for words on it she said: “did you say it was a shake made of salted caramel and malted hazelnut? Then there is nothing else needed to say, but get it.” So there get it!

AMP 150 is in the Airport Marriott but please don’t let that stop you from going. The menu has a nice selection of sandwiches, soups and can fulfill your need for steak too. The highest priced dinner is at 19 bucks with one of their steaks. The staff is friendly and the music is awesome. I mean how happy was I to eat my dinner to David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’?

AMP 150: Cleveland Airport Marriott, 4277 West 150th St. (at the West 150th Street exit from I-71), Cleveland; 216-706-8787, amp150.com.


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