New Poem: Blueberry Ale

November 2, 2010

Here is another poem. It is part of the book titled: Love is a Donkey. Now for some interaction (should you choose to accept your mission.) from you all. The poem is titled Blueberry Ale (right now) but the wifey thinks it should be titled “The Art of Giving Blow Jobs”. What say you dear reader? As always any comments appreciated.


After the third bottle the topic turned to sex.
This was usually the case but never with so many people
mulled and munched veggies. The party should’ve been over.
Rick finished off the hummus by himself. It was thick and homemade.
We found him on the toilet a joint in one hand and the other knuckle deep in the bowl.
“At least he’s not jacking off again” Johnny offered. He was right.


Two years from now he’d jump off a highway over pass.
His body smashed through the windshield of a brown Taurus.
He always had to take someone down with him. A pocket full of peach schnapps’
I got drunk at his funeral. “I always hated smooth tongued Johnny Ray.” I quipped
to the pretty girl at the bar. I undressed her with my eyes.
It turned out to be his sister.


At one point I must have met her. She may have even been at the party.
Pieces of poetry and scraps of art were thrown about.
It was the last of its kind. The only one where we were all friends and artists
If we had known that it may have changed things.
Of course in the end we’d still be high and debating the art of blow jobs.

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The one with the guy who thought he was smooth

August 28, 2010

No it’s not me. I know I’m not smooth.

At least not 100 % of the time.

The following takes place at the Lou Barlow and the Missing Men show at the Grog Shop. It really has nothing to do with the show itself. That post will come later. The story is about a guy. A guy who clearly thinks he is smooth with women but most clearly is not. He was as generic normal looking as the next college guy hitting up a show at the grog shop.

(I’m pretty sure he practices fist pumping in the mirror.)

AnyJerseyShoreReference I was in the men’s bathroom when I first encountered the tool young man—oh who am I kidding he was a tool. I was at one of the three urinals making a sissy (ha take that wife!) and there was another guy at another one.

Side note: The grog means bathroom is set up so that there are 2 urinals on one wall and a 3rd directly on the opposite wall. Here crappy drawing to confuse and horrify you:

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So keep that horrible paint shop chicken scratch in mind. So Douche O’Tool saunters on into the bathroom. There is a guy washing his hands and (as said before) two urinals being used. I’m at urinal A and there is a skinny dude at Urinal C. Now the quarters are close but unless you are precious (bad form peter) or fat bastard you can get in there easily. You know in and to the urinal without you know touching another dude and becoming gay because of it. He says:

O’Tool: Woah! A line in here what is this the woman’s room?

(No line not sure what he was talking about.)

O’Tool: I’m not going to that urinal and that guy is at the sink or I’d pee there.

At this point someone comes in and O’Tool says to him:

O’Tool: You see that chicks tits?

Guy: No, who?

O’Tool: Some chick out there.

So now I go to wash my hands and he runs to the urinal and pees. As I finish and leave he zips ups and hurriedly squeezes past me. As he does a girl is rounding the corner to go to the ladies room. She is wearing a cool Dinosaur Jr. Tee:

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He stops her as she reaches the door.

O’Tool: That’s a dope shirt.

Chick: Thanks.

O’Tool: That’s a shirt that says “date me” all over it.

Chick: No thanks.

(She pushes door open.)

O’Tool: Hey mebbe we can xchange digits?

Chick: I don’t know about that.

O’Tool: Oh. You want me to wait out here?

(She goes inside the bathroom)

Yeah that actually happened. And yes I actually stopped to listen to this—pretending that I was texting someone—because I knew O’Tool wouldn’t let me down.

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Snapped in the New Year #3: Chin up

January 11, 2010

So I’ve been pretty good at snapping the pictures but not so much at the posting of them.
Will post them all eventually. This was one I snapped Saturday Night at the Grog Shop. It’s a rather odd one and not all that great but I really like it.

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Jefferson’s Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout

July 13, 2008
jefferson's reserve bourbon barrel stout

tasty

Jefferson’s reserve bourbon barrel stout

Malts used – Special Pale, Wheat, Chocolate, and English Roast Barley
Hops used – Northern Brewer & English East Kent Goldings
ABV 8%

The name itself is a mouthful, and for me a personal record; for longest beer name that I’ve tasted. There isn’t much in the way of first impression. The bottle doesn’t really give much of a hint of what you’re getting. There’s no description of the beer on the label other than ‘stout aged in bourbon oak barrels.’

From the Bluegrass Brewing Co website: Delicately aged in “2005 Bourbon of the Year” Jefferson’s Reserve small batch barrels for approximately 60 days. The malt sweetness is perfectly balanced by the roast barley and a nice hint of bourbon flavor and aroma. The bourbon barrel stout was first brewed December 22, 2005.The McLain & Kyne Distillery has been a family owned since 1977. With their focus being on producing high quality Bourbon, the family hand selects new white oak barrels that are deep-charred for proper aging.

Jefferson’s Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout ( which from now on I will call Jeff’s Reserve or maybe Jeff’s BBS) pours dark and opaque. It appears to be a thick dark beer like many Imperial Stouts. It’s a little lighter than a majority of them though and it did pass the wife test. There was only a hint of the wrinkled forehead look when she sipped it. The head is a frothy tan color that drops almost at once, leaving a vague memory of it’s presence behind. The body has a creamy consistency you feel in your mouth and had dark malty color. Out of the snifter rose a pleasing distinct aroma of bourbon, oak and the hint of a light pipe tobacco. There was also a perfect hint of vanilla in the nose. The flavor (actually flavors) is the strong point of the stout. The combination are complex yet subdued. On first sipping your taste buds are met with a roasted, chocolaty tinge. A bold bourbon sweetness mingles with a dark chocolate and, both are a nice contrast to the subtle tartness. The feel inside the mouth is creamy and delicate (very thin) leaving behind a smoky aftertaste.

Critiques: For a stout it is little thin and the head is a bit too understated. Jeff’s Reserve’s palate was more like a porter than a stout. It has too slight of a mouth feel and a body more light to medium than thick. Unlike in Hollywood with our stout thin ain’t in.

Overall, I’d have to rate it an 8 out of 10. Jeff’s BBS is a complexly favored beer that is very easy to drink. It goes down smoothly and the aroma is rather pleasing. This offering from Bluegrass Brewing Company is a tasty choice anytime of the year. I really don’t go in for the whole wheat in summer stout in winter spiel. At 8% ABV it’s on the higher end when it comes to American Imperial stouts. It can be a bit pricey at $9.99 for a four pack, but really what isn’t pricey these days?


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