Recently someone from the Columbus Crew called me about tickets. For a couple years the wifey, Lindsay and I made our way to a bunch of matches. Last year we did not however. Many a thing got in the way—not the least was me being laid off.
Me: Hello.
Ticket guy: Hi, James?
Me: You found me.
Ticket guy: Haha. Yeah. Hi I’m whatever the name I said was with the Columbus Crew. How are you?
Me: Delicious.
Ticket guy: Haha delicious. I like that. That’s good right?
Me: Yeah.
Ticket guy: Great. Well I’m going to make it better I hope. Our records show you didn’t make it to any Crew matches last season.
Me: Yeah last season was tough…we wanted….
Ticket guy: Yeah we understand economy got rough…but I’m here to help get you back up here—
Me: Yeah it was mostly losing my job that stopped us.
Ticket guy: Oh? That is…I’m sorry about that. Economy hit a lot of people.
Me: Yeah.
Ticket guy: Well we got a lot of deals for you James. Especially if you get season tickets.
Me: Well we’d love to make it to at least one this season but season tickets would not be possible at this time.
Ticket guy: Okay Okay. I understand. Let me get you started on some of our single game specials.
Me: Yeah we want to go to at least one but at this time I can’t make any commitments. We’ll be looking at the schedule soon…
Ticket guy: Well James we have a lot of gifts for ordering tickets now. Let’s see what it’ll take to get you to come on down. Lots of cool gifts.
Me: Is one of them a job?
Ticket guy: Oh? Uh? Haha no unfortunately. I’ll tell you what my name is again whatever name I originally said, and my number is (number here) when you know what you want I can help you. Okay?
Me: Thanks whatever his name was.
We said our goodbyes then. I couldn’t help but try and make him feel uncomfortable. I dig the people at the Crew and they’ve always been nice and helpful. When we can make a match I will call him.
Posted by ClevelandPoet 
From the cheap seats 