The one with a glimpse

March 9, 2011

So I’ve decided to give you a glimpse into the daily jimi.

It will not be pretty.
Trust me.

Sort of like this:

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That doesn’t normally happen. It was part of the Halloween process.

Moving on…

The alarm goes off (generally) at 6:30 in the morning. It sounds like the warning alarm on army bases or spaceships in movies.

I tell the wife it’s 6:30 and it’s time to get up. Depending on the day she’ll either get up or roll over. This is when I let her sleep for another 7 minutes and the alarm blares again. I once again tell her it’s time to get up.

Now this time she actually gets up and either says she hates the world or me. Sometimes both of these things happened.

I stay in bed as gets ready. Sometimes I manage to stay awake until she leaves. On these days she gives me a kiss and we say our goodbyes. Other days I fall asleep and she probably hates me.

When DSN (Digital Sports Network—shows on the internet) was actually broadcasting I’d wake up at 9 am. On these days I’d listen to the show and troll (in the nicest and most awesomest of ways) the chat room. It was a fun creative process that I won’t explain here because nobody ever seemed to get my explanation.

It sort of results in the “oh haha” type answer.

Now that DSN is on hold I wake up between 9:15-9:30.
(Go on hate me if you want.)

It usually involves me waking up with my ass straight up in the air and my face smushed against the pillow. There are almost always big red sleep marks on my face. If you’re thinking of a “gay sex dream” joke save em the wifey has plowed that field already.

WAIT what?

I meant the jokes not actually you know her rogering me in the bum.
Uhm moving on…

So I wake up and of course before anything put water on to boil.

Gots to get my coffee on.

Then I sit down and check my email. Now this is a process sort of done with one eye shut. I open it hoping to not see some form rejection letters. These days they are piling up from publications and possible employers.
It’s at this point (or possibly earlier) that Carissa has hit me up on gchat with WAKE UP or some other witty way of saying that.

(ClevelandPoet@gmail.com if you too wish to tell me to wake up or you know chat.)

I try to scribble some notes or decide what will be worked on (writing wise) that day. When the coffee is ready I try and sit down and tackle my google reader. Some of you are probably on it and I will tell you know when I click it and there are already like 15 of you with posts I curse you. These days I can barely do 2 in a row and you all make me look bad.

Part of the problem is mine are so story based on what is happening and what I’ve done. Since losing my job those stories have tapered off because honestly I don’t do anything now.

AnyFeelingSorryForMyself after reading and sipping on my coffee the job search usually begins. This is where the day usually goes to shit. I had been trying to tackle some writing first. I learned early on the job search/application process really drains me. It ruins the writing on most days. I’d do a couple hours of writing and then the job search.

As it dragged on and I freaked out more I switched it around. It really has destroyed any thorough writing. I was worried though—still am. So I search first and for longer than I actually write during the day sometimes.

This pains me but yet it happens continually.

Did I mention since the chaos of protest began in the Middle East I do all this while watching/listening to Aljazeera English?

Well I do. I’m enthralled by it. I can’t stop. It inspires me and has led to more writing than I’ve been use to as of late. Also it’s led to some fucked up violent dreams. I mean like hours and hours of the coverage would be playing on my computer as I went about my day.

Around 2pm I’d remember that I hadn’t eaten all day and scrounge up some food.

Sometimes (more lately) I’ll search for a bad movie to watch. Recently: Killer Barbys vs. Dracula, Zombie Honeymoon and Lure: Teen Fight Club and (painfully) Zombie Bloodbath

Why?

Because at the B Movie Brigade we watch it so you don’t have to. Zombie Bloodbath is up and the others will be soon.

(Cheap plug)
Also what happens!

I suffer through these bad movies and take detailed notes. These notes have a very detailed key to make sense of them. If you were to look at the notebook it’d be gibberish.

(What else is new?)

Sometimes after some more writing I take a nap. I did this a couple time while listening to Aljazeera English and that was bad idea. We can substitute a nap with going for a walk. This was always a highlight—until winter really hit. I still try to go for at least a short walk during the day.

Then yoga.
Sometimes naked.
The wife likes that for some reason.

She’s never here for it is probably why. At 5 the day swings into more of a sports watching mode with some work on writing thrown in. There was a point or at least a joke I wanted to have thrown in here at the end. The only problem is it has slipped my mind

Jokes on you I guess.

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What I learned from last week

October 25, 2010

What I learned from last week:

I’m working on a piece for here that simply refuses to cooperate. So until then a short little review thang. Mostly I just wanted an excuse to show the picture at the end. Enjoy bitches!

I like to get glassware. Well to be fair I already knew that. Let’s just say it was reaffirmed. It was Cleveland Beer week and many of the events gave away glasses.

I have a problem with The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. This was also not too much of a revelation but as of late I find myself changing the station when they come on. I’ve even groaned one time. It is not that I don’t like them—well at least I did like them. I dunno. I just change em right off the bat now.

I miss painting my nails. Sort of. It causes such a stir still. It just sucks having to take time to do it. It does help me avoid writing though.

God has a sense of humor or irony. The other day in the spirit of spirit day (haha get it) I painted my nails purple. T o show my support of the lgbt (or anyone actually) anti bullying campaign. Not an hour after that I went for my daily walk. Not even 20 minutes into the walk I got heckled by some guy.

Painting your nails makes you “some sort of faggot” See above.

Dracula (1931), Bela Lugosi and Dwight Frye will trump college football. I was going to watch the 2nd half of scheduled college football games but then saw Dracula was playing. Yeah I missed some football for the time it was on.

That I can be ninja like. This may come as a surprise to those of you who have seen me but it is true. Whilst visiting the former employer (to see people I like only) I proved it on more than one occasion. There were former higher ups that I did not want to deal with and each time they came near me my hood was up in a jiffy. Or I was dipping and bolting behind things and it was all avoided.

I still dig meeting people I’ve met because of twitter. Two more off the list: @Q104Rebecca and @BrewersDaughter

That I want halloween soda!

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Jones Soda co. makes it and it be tasty, but of course I’m on a diet.

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The above hat was one of the best buys ever. Ninja Turtle hat FTW

Wow I didn’t really learn anything of consequence did I? Shut up! You learn anything last week?


The one where I should cut n paste

August 23, 2010

Before I fully get started a bit of business. I want you to head on over to the B Movie Brigade to check out the latest Monday’s Maniac by yours truly. Follow the brigade on twitter @bmoviebrigade!

With that done shall we recap one another?

Don’t worry I’ve been tested.

Well Friday you can read about it in this post from Saturday. It’s quite a fun post.

(I can’t actually back that statement up)

Saturday like most of the previous ones included a whole lot of sitting down and doing nothing. The wifey dropped the car off to have it checked out for the 3 shillelaghs big roadie to Key West. This caused some great concern and some anxious moments. News came back of what needed to be taken care of and now we wait to see how much it is.

Ah waiting is so fun isn’t it?

Anyhatewaiting I watched some nice soccer yet again. I really should just start cutting and pasting these things.

Can you say phone it in!

After the EPL match I managed to get some writing in. The MIL (I need to give her a nickname because MIL makes me want to type MILF and well I won’t be going there) wanted to take me to dinner as a late b-day dinner. We headed over to the Aladdin’s for some grub. Sticking to (and getting back on track with) the diet I had a Shish Kabob salad. I ordered it with the Tahini Yogurt Dressing (like always) but with a side of the Zesty Sweet Tomato one too. I had been interested in trying that one and felt it was time to pull a “do it already jimi!” It was a delish meal. Here is a pic snapped before devouring it:

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Looked exactly like that except more like an actual salad and less like a man with veggies on. Plus you know like not at all. That is from ATHF by the way. If you don’t like that show I will break up with you.

Like seriously.

We had a nice long talk with ILM (In law mother) which was cool because it’d been a while since we had one. Plus you know I don’t turn down free stuff.

Afterwards we (wifey and I) went back home and I planted myself in front of the tube to watch the Browns pre season game. Watching lead to this exchange:

Disclaimer: I don’t normally yell at pre season games.
Me: Oh come on jeez!
Wife (from other room): What?
Me: Sports.
(She made me institute a rule of saying sports after yelling at the TV so she knows nothing “real” is wrong.)
Wife: See this is why I hate you watching football.
Me: Why?
Wife: You yell so much.
Me: I yell at soccer.
Wife: No you don’t
Me: True. NOW SHUT THE HELL UP I’M WATCHING FOOTBALL*

*That didn’t actually happen. Don’t send me anymore emails about my wife leaving me angry email sender it hurts my feelings**

**It doesn’t actually.

We then headed over to the Capitol theatre to see “This is Spinal Tap.” Oh man there is nothing better than seeing a movie you love on the big screen and for 5 bucks. That was at midnight. When we got home and settled down it was about 3 am and we hit the hay.

Sunday started off as one big fail. First I woke up about 10am to a wicked headache. Then the cable remote wasn’t working. Once I got that taken care of the TV wouldn’t work right. Finally I got all 3 to obey me.

Soccer time yeah!

Then a trip to Aldi’s which was only worth mentioning because of the young kid there. He was walking around pointing this like lollipop necklace thing at people going:

“laser. Laser.”

I do believe he was shooting people (including the wife and I) with it.

Awesome and funny.

Of course Sunday was time for the finally Marx Bros movie being played at the Cleveland Cinematheque. Good time as always. Watch em bishes (and you thought you’d get away without me using that!) cause they’re great.

Once home we settled in together to be romantical. Syfy was showing Predator 2 and we snuggled up. Okay actually she was cleaning up around the living room but we snuggled up in spirit and soul. Interesting note: It stars Maria Conchita Alonso who we saw in The Vagina Monologues.

She found a card from me that had this in it: ‘I wouldn’t change what we have for all the tiny magical gnomes I could fit into a suitcase.”

I dropped some poetical shit on you bishes (haha 2 now!) with that line there.

Hope you had a good weekend and feel like telling me about it. DO IT!

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Me, Myself and Bernie Kosar?

March 29, 2010

I must warn this post is probably a little distorted. One because it had two extremes-equal parts awesome and fail. It was like a science experiment or something you’d read on Not that kind of Girl’s blog.

If you don’t read her you really should.

Anyhizzle so as you may or may not know I’m not the easiest person to get to socialize. I mean if I know you I’m very open and friendly. I’ve grown as a person quite a bit over the last years. I do things. I go places and put myself in situations that I would never have before moving to Cleveland. There is still a bit of the old me in me (sweet scoring with myself!) and at times I’m a tad reluctant to do things. I should rephrase that a tad: I’m reluctant to do things on my own. I’m not one of those guys who need total separation from the wife to have fun. In fact I’m the total opposite. The wife does nothing but add to whatever fun is going down. She is a ton of fun. Read her here or get her tweety tweets.

Okay commercial for her over.

I mean. I love my wife (unlike seemingly everyone I used to work with. They continually complained bitterly about theirs.) And like to spend time with her. This is not to say we are attached at the hip to have fun. I can have fun and not be with her, but it’d be a lie if I was say she wouldn’t add to my enjoyment.
There are factors that go into my reluctance. I must say here it’s a reluctance to go to things alone. By alone I don’t mean sans wife I mean literally by myself. No wife or friends—just me. I won’t lie I’m much more comfortable with a pen in my hand alone writing. There was a time where if I didn’t have friends I was pretty sure I wouldn’t care. Books and writing. The other factor is the no license/car. This makes going places more difficult. What was the point to all this? Well Thursday night I went against my instinct and went out. Yes (gasp) by my lonesome. Twitter came through yet again for me. I saw that The Cleveland Gladiators were having an open house and free scrimmage.

A sidebar: I rant get over it. Twitter gets a bad rap sometimes. I know a bunch of people who are like “Twitter! Yeah that’s a waste of time.” I also know someone who won’t get onboard the twitter train (chooo choooo) because it’s called twitter and this bothers him somehow. It has been a great way to find new and interesting reads, restaurants and I’ve met people I consider good friends and hang with consistently. Plus if not for twitter I’d never heard about the scrimmage and therefore what happened wouldn’t have.

Anytwitter this is about me and the Gladiators. So I hear about this and I think “yeah I can go for that.” I mean since the unemployment I’ve done mostly sitting in the apartment during the day. I’ve gone for walks everyday but still majority of the time was sitting in the apartment writing. This is a good thing of course but probably be good to get out too. I tried to get peeps interested in going but nothing panned out. The wife had school to go to so if it was going to happen it was gonna be all me. Cue the cartoon devil on one shoulder angel on the other. Only it was me arguing/coming up with excuses and the rizza telling me to go for it. So I did. I jumped. That meant one bus and rapid ride down and one each back. Did I mention it started to snow and get windy again? Full disclosure it wasn’t all that much snow, but still. As luck would have it the wife was able to drop me off downtown, cutting my bus/rapid ride in half. I got down there early and hit up the mall food court for some dinner. Yeah Mall Chinese! Click here to go the Dictionary of Jimi to find out the meanings of my rambles. So I sat down with my bourbon chicken and ate. The whole while this lady who looked about 60 sat down the table closest to me and proceeded to eat her taco bell burrito like she was in prison. She huddled near it and kept her eye on me the whole time.

After the yumminess that was Mall Chinese I walked over to the Q. That’s the arena that hosts the Cavs, Monsters and Gladiators for those of you who didn’t know. So I get there and of course set off the damn metal detector. I had to unzip my coat and let them scan me. Then I had to take all my damn pens out of my pocket. Yes I had about 10 in there, and I forgot about my IPhone so then I had to take that off too. Then it still went off because of my belt buckle but yeah finally I get in there. I pick out a cozy seat in the 4th row (which I had all to myself) and relaxed.

Checked into 4square of course. (shut up!)

Then thankfully I got thirsty. I decided I needed a drink and went out to get one. In the hallway I ran into some dude I went to College with and he proceeded to chat me up. So we’re there in the hallway between the concourse and the lower bowl. He’s blabbing and then what happens but Bernie freaking fracking Kosar walks up.

Okay now if you are someone who doesn’t know who Bernie Kosar is click here. I also really hope you have the excuse that you’re not from Cleveland.

We both (read he) stop talking and silently gawk at him. The Cleveland football god! I do believe there were rays of light (held by Jesus himself) shining in his general direction but that was never confirmed. He’s busy being prepped and we’re busy gawking and well gawking. He then comes over and seeing as us gawkers are in his way stops. I’m wearing a Miami Dolphin shirt. He asks me if I’m a Miami Hurricane fan too. This got us talking about The Hurricanes, Dolphins and of course the Browns. I shook his hand about 60 bazillion times and he signed my Gladiators’ roster:

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He then went down, signed and took pictures with people and then gave a short intro to the scrimmage. It was fanfuckintastic. It was a fun time at the scrimmage. Soon a really drunk dude and his younger siblings came and he kept asking me annoying questions like “which team are we?” He could not understand the concept of a scrimmage or why there was no score being kept. Then he asked who that guy everyone is taking pictures of is and when I told him Bernie Kosar, he asked me “Who’s Bernie Kosar?” That is when I turned around and ignored him for the rest of the night. A girl who was pretty wasted too moved over to sit next to me and have me explain the rules to her. After the scrimmage I decided instead of going on to the field to meet the players (a bunch of which would soon be cut) I’d just head on home. I mean it was a fun time and I met Bernie Kosar it wasn’t going to get much better.

So I head back to the rapid station and the girl who sat next to me comes with all the while asking me question after question. I’m so annoyed and trying to be nice. The problem was I sort of got lost in my explanation of things and just got on her train. I thought she said she was taking the same one as I was and I didn’t pay attention. She then sat next to me and yammered the whole time. Halfway through I realize I’m on the wrong freaking train, and that my phone is dying. The only way to get back to a train that I could get on to get where I would need to go to catch my bus is pretty much go all the way back to where I started. By the time this would’ve happened the last bus would have been long gone. Luckily the wife had just entered Cleveland and I got off at Shake Square to wait there. Now a diner that had an open sign lit up and their sign on the door still turned to open was not actually open. I went in and they proceeded to yell at me. I was starving and planned on buying food while I waited but I wanted a place to stay in from the cold too. I headed back out to the rapid station waiting area to at least sit. Luckily I had some Kerouac to read. Of course as soon as I was immersed a tall, older and extremely drunk black dude came in. He said “Hi, my man.” And I said “Good day sir” Nailed that huh?

Anydrunk he ignored the fact that I was reading and talked and talked. Told me how it was his birthday the next day and how he wasn’t going to do shit. Not a god damn thing but lay there. He don’t care who calls. He’ll party for his b-day another day. The best was he looked around and whispered “I come out here to party. Drop like 400 bucks for the night and party and then take this train back to Cleveland Heights to live. Safety over there not in the hood, I just party out here.” The train came and I wished him a happy birthday. He only replied with “Birthday?” Then the wife came and all was well.

Experiment: Go somewhere on my own.
Result: Met Bernie freaking Kosar, but then had a horrible travel fail. You gotta take the good with the bad.

The next day for lunch I ordered something I would generally never ordered. I liked it too.


Post it Note Tuesday Vol. 6

January 26, 2010

So I skipped Post it note Tuesday (oh man I think I may need to refer to it as PINT from here on out!) Yeah I skipped it because I wrote about a gajillion of them the day before and then lost the sheet of paper I wrote them on. Okay it was really just like 5 of them but they were good. I think. Anypint I didn’t want to rush like 6 day of so I did a little skipola. All that being said it’s time once again. Here I go again on my own. Walking down the only road I’ve ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone……what? Yeah I did just break out a White Snake reference for no real reason at all. I mean seriously it had nothing to do with the PINTS. Just read em if ya like.
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Bozo of the week and football say what?

October 9, 2009

Perhaps since bozo the clown is always top on the search list of what brings peeps to my blog maybe I should call it the Bozo of the week. Hmmm. Ah the potential….

Bozo/catch of the week/will come up with a better title is:

clowndave

Dave Grzyb

So football is big in some places we can agree on this yeah? Real big, especially in places like Texas, Mississippi and of course Alabama. This little gem comes to us from Alabama. Now I’ll start with acknowledging this was probably just some nothing spat, and both sides didn’t press charges. That may be the case. It may not be. On to the story though. Way back in August at the start of the Alabama Football season there was an altercation between a Bama football player and his then girlfriend. It basically went like this: A crazy person woman slapped her roided up musclehead football playing boyfriend because he was talking to another girl. So far everything is so logical…..right. He then grabbed her by the hair and neck and apparently tried to shove her down she freed herself (doesn’t bode well for The Bama defense if he couldn’t tackle her huh?) and swung/missed him. Both were promptly arrested. Flash forward to her dad (Dave Grzyb) and he’s pretty pissed at said player right? No, he is very supportive of him. He called the coach to defend him and also said this:

“I hate to see this guy get in too much trouble because I honestly think it was probably initiated by my daughter. I don’t think he laid a hand on her. He just tried to restrain her to keep from getting hit again.”

After the court hearing where both cases were tossed he covered her from the media but turned to them and yelled “Roll Tide” before exiting. Now that is some fan huh? Guess fan really is taken from fanatic huh?

As we left India Garden last night the topic turned to first Kellen Winslow or scrotal staph and then Braylon Edwards. Keep in mind I was with Lindsay (@lviboheme) and the wife (@kittenkaboom) and to say neither could care less about football is a vast understatement. My wife started to explain about Braylon Edwards to Lindsay using all the appropriate terms (No not block for hands or incompletions but wide receiver), which is funny in of itself. Lindsay didn’t care and this brought out the fact that neither of them can understand/follow/learn the rules of football. Believe me people have tried. I really don’t understand this because the rules really aren’t that difficult to grasp and I consider them to be very smart. I’d venture to say 3x smarter than I am and I can easily grasp it. It really boils down I suppose to the fact that they simply don’t care. I mean they watch soccer and understand that. In truth though the rules there are a bit more simplistic.

Run 50 yards this way kick the ball to the other guy wearing the same shirt you are he runs 15 yards sideways and then misses the goal by 6 feet.

Oh!

Rim shot please!

I kid. I kid. I love the footy, and that really wasn’t that funny. Is this live? Oh.

A new segment starts today and that is my wife vs. my cats in football pick em.

I will ask my wife and she’ll pick however she does, and then the cats will have the options to play with 2 pieces of paper. One will represent one team and clearly the other piece the other team.

First pick (no video cause the battery needs charging):

Louisiana Tech vs. Nevada

A few tidbits on the two teams:

LA Tech: Colors: Red and (Tech?)blue Nickname: Bulldogs. One of Tech’s great traditions is the players rubbing a bronze bulldog statue commemorating Tech’s entry into Division 1A football as they enter the stadium

Nevada: Colors: Blue and silver Nickname: Wolfpack Alphie: Nevada’s wolf mascot. Alphie replaced cousin “Wolfie” as the institution’s mascot earlier this decade following Wolfie’s reign that began in the 1970s.

Wife: La Tech

Csonka: Nevada

Rasputin: La Tech


Nazi Zombie’s and other things

September 28, 2009

Pounding headache and a lot of script to work on means this will be short,sweet and shallow. A review of what my weekend was. It was a pretty eventful one. Dead Snow, Parnell’s, Bridge Project, Columbus Crew match and more.

It was quite the weekend. I haven’t shaved since Thursday and so I currently look like this:

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The lack of shaving has more to do with laziness/desire to sleep a little longer before going off to work. Nonetheless I’m sporting the whole wolf man look. Upon further review perhaps being forced to work every Sunday isn’t such a bad thing. I mean it is a laid back sort of day where anyone with real power couldn’t be bothered to come in. The main reason is maybe their doing me a favor by making it impossible to watch the Browns? It is downright painful. Has I was working in the backroom I pulled out my phone to check the score. It was about an hour after the game started, and I clicked my sports link and what came up was Cle 7 Balt 0 and I was shocked and happy. Of course when I clicked it I realized it was the Indians score against the Orioles. I went to the right place to see the 10-0 Ravens lead. How is it they appear to be getting worse and worse each week? Aren’t you suppose to improve? If both Qb’s suck can there be controversy?

Friday night we went to see Dead Snow. That night we got to meet Linzi’s friend Kat (not to be confused with her friend and my wife Kat.) Before we went to the flick we went to Parnell’s and had a drink. I love sitting around and talking with good friends (and new ones) at this watering hole. It is always good to see Liz and shoot the shit with her too. Now seeing as I didn’t take any actual pictures I’ve a crudely rendered paint version of the ladies.
ladies at Parnell's

This in no way represents how I think they looked. The three of them are very lovely.Dead Snow was fantastic. You have less than a week to get over to the Cedar Lee Theatre and see it. It is a fun time and very well done. A zombie fan? Go see it. Horror fan? Go see it. It has gore, it has jumps, and it has jokes. It may even have a message, but most of all it has Nazi Zombies! Here is the trailer:

Saturday it was off to The Cleveland Bridge Project. I was very excited for this unique event for a long time. It is one thing I love about Cleveland, there are many ways to promote/enjoy/get yours out there art wise. It was a lot of fun. It was a very interesting site and I hope it continues to happen. The views and setting itself was as big a draw as the art and performances. Here are a few pictures of the site itself.
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It looked awesome! After the Bridge Project we headed over to Burger King where we got to see the Heaven Train.
heaven train

I stole that pic from Linzi. We didn’t hop on board because we were headed to Columbus to watch the Crew take on the Galaxy. It rained the whole way there and for the 2 hours we waited at the Stadium. It looked like were doomed to sit in the rain for 90 minutes. At least they keep playing throughout, but 10 minutes before the match the rain stopped. It was a pretty night for the rest of the match. It was probably our last chance to stick to Beckham. So of course as he was announced we…wait what oh yeah he didn’t fly with the team because he was too busy doing this:

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I think he had a hang nail.

The Crew won and has sole position of first in both the east and the entire MLS. None of you care but whatever. Linzi and I enjoying the match/the teams come out:
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Steak and shake followed. Mmmmmm Butterfinger milkshake was tasty. Long drive home where all three of us were falling asleep (or wanting to). Of course we got home at about 2 am and the stench from Bigfoot that was in our apartment hallway when we left was still there.

Sunday I had to work and then we went to the wife’s dad’s house for some Beef Ribs. Damn they were tasty!

What was your weekend like?


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