TMI Thursday: the poop that comes between us

Today we resurrect TMI Thursday.

Anyone who reads this blog with any consistently knows the wifebot and I play some strange games. This goes double for anyone who has spent any amount of time with us in real life. One of them is the divorce game. We play many variations of the divorce game.

(Sorry divorcees.)

One is the “we’re over: start to take our ring off” game. This game begins with a simple, meaningless disagreement.

Her: This show is dumb.

Me: How dare you! We are over!

Her: Fine! Take your dumb ring back.

Me: Fine!

(Both start to pull wedding rings off.)

A great number of things have resulted in “divorce.”
Her thinking the Doritos locos taco sounded gross.
Brussels sprouts.
Her not liking Children’s Hospital.

I didn’t expect a story about poop would be one that leads to actual divorce. A few weeks ago our marriage appeared to be on the brink because of a story I told about poo. She was really mad. Let’s jump back in the way back machine.

It was the end of the day. She worked all day and picked me up outside the museum. We said our hello’s and gave our kisses. It’s some very sweet and touching stuff folks.

Lots of touching. (Bow chikka bow wow)

AnyPointlessSexJoke we drove home and talked about our day. Eventually, I turned to what happened at work. What happened you ask? Sometime after lunch my stomach started to feel upset. It wasn’t anything too serious just a little just a warning. It was a notice that soon I would be a filming a movie.

Wondering about the filming a movie thing?

The problem was it escalated far quicker than I thought it would. First you have to find someone to cover your gallery (or get a manager to find someone.) I got a neighbor to agree and called it in.

No response.
Little more urgency.

I called again.

This time I call again and plan to leave either way. Luckily I got the okay and went off to the rest room.  The producers were REALLY ready by the time I got in there. I’ll spare you the details.

It was a major production though. When all was said and done I was sweating. Then we got called back in for some re-shoots.

It was bad.

I related the near miss but being the story crafter I am described it a <s>little</s> lot more graphically. I may have described color and fell.

But the shit really hit the fan (see what I did there?) when I used sounds to describe it. The wife was not happy. She called me disgusting (and even disturbed) which I didn’t enjoy very much. I tried to understand where I went too far.

You know to know where the line was.

She wanted nothing of it. She said not to even bring it up and made these hilarious gagging sounds. Her anger was sort of cute. This of course made her madder. I found it all to be ridiculous and told her so. Wrong move of course. This was about when she said if I brought it up again we’d be getting a divorce.

Clearly we weren’t anywhere near divorce. I think it’s pretty awesome that the only thing we’d get in a fight over is a poop story.

It was pretty gross and graphic.
But she’s still ridiculous.


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