The one where I’m a wingman

Recently on the way home from work I told my wife two stories about my interaction with coworkers. I stopped at “and then she asked ‘are you serious?’” The wife said:

“And you said no, I’m just an asshole.”

Later in the week (after the story I’m about to recount) she said:

“One day someone is going to come up to you and punch you in the face. The sad thing is you won’t even know why you deserve it.”

I promise you I didn’t set out to mess with this guy. I was patrolling my gallery when a young man and woman came in. They walked and viewed the first half of the gallery. The woman stopped at certain paintings and said things about them. The dude appeared to be trying (read pretending) to be listening. After a few minutes she asked me where the nearest bathroom was. After she exited he came over to me.

Dude: Hey big man.

(When you start with that I’m probably not going to be helpful.)

Dude: How you doing…lemme ask you, do you know about this art stuff?

Me: I know some—

Dude: Great. Look we on our first date and I want to impress her. Can you tell me some stuff player?

Me: Well…like?

Dude: Come on big man. Help a player out?

Me: Well…okay…taker her over to the Picasso stuff back there. Tell her…okay show her Fan, Salt Box, Melon. Tell her it’s one of his early Cubist works, but what people don’t know is…well his sister actually did it. His sister Patty, Patty Picasso. She did most of “his” early Cubist stuff. Show her the green stuff at the top. That is the only thing he did in that painting. She was like a year or two younger than him. They had a big fight about it because she wanted credit. They fought about it until she died of a strange illness a little bit later. There are rumors that say he poisoned her.

Dude: Yeah?

Me: Yeah.

Dude: Good looking out.

(He fist bumped me and walked off. They headed off to the Picasso stuff when she returned. I then went on my break.)

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4 Responses to The one where I’m a wingman

  1. […] The night was going slowly and sort of boringly. Then this happened. For those of you who don’t know the Patty Picasso story click here. […]

  2. […] this one time a strange fellow was telling people about Patty Picasso. Some of the things aren’t so fun. For instance a dad saying to his teen […]

  3. […] where is Picasso? me: Patty or Pablo? visitor: wait, there is more than […]

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