the one with hoochie mamas, strippers and paste

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The long awaited Top Overheard Ohio sent in May. Once again in no particular order but my favorite probably is:

“We decided to stop having sex till our wedding night to make it special but after 2 months I may pound her into paste.”–drunk guy at bar


“we’re friends and I like you, but not enough to buy you cocaine.”–Frat boy to roid ragey looking frat boy.

“The hot new secretary walked in as I was doing the ‘up my ass’ monologue from Pulp Fiction but all she heard was ‘up my ass’ & she ran out”

“Mom and tits don’t belong in the same sentence, unless it’s to say thanks for my new tits mom”- big haired chick in lobby @CleMarriottDwtn

“You remember the time we stopped in the middle of sex to go get some @Tacobell? From now on either smoke pot or drink Patrón but not both.”

“excuse me, does my daughter look like a hoochie mama? bc she is actually really intelligent” Lady in fitting room

“no we’re East Cleveland, but nobody likes us there so it’s the Heights for breakfast.” -East Cleveland police officer @ The Inn on Coventry

“Don’t hate on strippers with c section scars. Those are the ones with tight pussies.”

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