Conversations with Jimi: enter vol 9

1.

(It takes place in a crowded bar (the grog shop)

Random guy: AMANDA!
Me (In as girlish as a voice as I can): Whaaaat.
Random Guy (Looks around confused): Where are you?
Me (In as girlish as a voice as I can): Overrr here.
Random Guy (Looking): Amanda??
Me (In as girlish as a voice as I can): What!
Random Guy: I can’t hear you too good, where are you?

(He went off to search.)

2.

(I walk slowly with a bad headache to greet her as she returns home.)

Me: This is like the Hollywood Hogan of headaches.
Her (Loudly): Oh yeah you big baby!
Me: You’re a heel*

*Wrestling reference: heel=bad guy.

3.

(While driving.)

Wifebot: That wire looks like it’s hanging awful low.
Me (singing): Hang LOW sweet chariot—oh wait it’s swing low isn’t?
Wifebot: …

4.

(Rihanna’s “S&M” comes on.)

Me: Sticks and stones may break my bones but Chris Brown’s hands are what choke me.
Wifey: Did you just make that up?
Me: Uhm…yes…
Wifey: You’re a horrible person.
Me: Oh I thought you’d be proud of my cleverness.
Wifey: No.

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