The one in my pants

Helloooooo out there. Last night as I sat on the couch I tried to come up with what to post about. I was already posting a review of Prison of the dead for B movie brigade.

(Cheap plug!)

But what to write for here? I could post about how after no calls for months I now have 3 job interviews next week. That seems sort of boring though. That post would be a little too hopeful and really has no meat to the story.

(You all are dumb for even suggesting it. God)
(Just kidding I love you.)

Plus that little announcement was enough concerning the job front. I realized that tomorrow (read today) would be Thursday—bingo a TMI Thursday post! It’s been a while so it’d be a nice little change of pace.
Only problem I couldn’t think of anything. I thought. I racked. I imagined. Nothing. I suppose I could fall back on Conversations with Jimi Volume 9. Yes I already have enough for a new Conversations post but that felt too soon. So stumped I turned to my beautiful wife.

Me: Been a while since my last tmi post. I do or say anything gross? TMI Thursday story worthy?
Wifebot: You do lots of gross things.
Me: Thanks.

You can see that was no help whatsoever. She went back to her computer and I went back to the Cleveland Indians game on my Television. We sat there in silence. As I did I noticed an itch. It was located in my pants. I surveyed the situation and quickly dismissed:

Me: Hey baby you wanna help me with this itch in my pants.
(No I’ll save that line for some other time.)

It looks like I’d be on my own. The itch just wouldn’t go away. It wasn’t particularly strong or bothersome but it wormed its way into my mind. Finally I gave in and slide my hand into my pants to relieve the Olsen Twins of their suffering.

I scratched (gently of course) and my fingers grazed something weird.
(Shut up)

There was something weird in my pants.
(That’s what she said!)

I pulled at it (That’s also what she said.) and there was the sound a band aid or piece of tape makes when you take them off things. What the hell? I pull it out of my pants and in my hand is:



I really have no clue where it came from our how it got in there.

I held it up in the air.

Me: Hey! Look at what I just pulled out of my pants.
Wifebot: What is that?*
Me: I don’t know, it’s from some piece of clothing or something. It was like taped to my balls.
Wifebot: Nuh huh.
Me: I’m serious. I think I have my tmi post.
Wifebot: Liar.
Me: I swear on my love for you.
Wifebot: No.
Me: Why would I make that up?
Wifebot: To have a TMI post.

*The fact that she looked when I said “look what I just pulled from my pants” will mean I’m totally going to say that to her again and when she looks it’ll be my willy*

I’d like to stop the conversation here to point out that this post is 100 % true. I’m weird, gross, sick, demented, vague and obscure on here but most of this little blog o mine is honest. I put myself out there weird things taped to my balls and all.


2 Responses to The one in my pants

  1. Greg says:

    I just found myself watching the entire Royal Carribean video here. Is it a commercial, a movie trailer, etc. Love the blog!

  2. Jean C. says:

    I get the willy shot more often than not when the hubbs says “look what I pulled out of my pants.” Once it was a dollar bill that somehow stuck to his balls. No, he doesn’t strip and did not go to a club. I am guessing it got stuck there with the gum he had trapped in his man-hairs. Yes, gum. And TMI to you too, my dear.

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