The one on the phone

Recently someone from the Columbus Crew called me about tickets. For a couple years the wifey, Lindsay and I made our way to a bunch of matches. Last year we did not however. Many a thing got in the way—not the least was me being laid off.


Me: Hello.

Ticket guy: Hi, James?

Me: You found me.

Ticket guy: Haha. Yeah. Hi I’m whatever the name I said was with the Columbus Crew. How are you?

Me: Delicious.

Ticket guy: Haha delicious. I like that. That’s good right?

Me: Yeah.

Ticket guy: Great. Well I’m going to make it better I hope. Our records show you didn’t make it to any Crew matches last season.

Me: Yeah last season was tough…we wanted….

Ticket guy: Yeah we understand economy got rough…but I’m here to help get you back up here—

Me: Yeah it was mostly losing my job that stopped us.

Ticket guy: Oh? That is…I’m sorry about that. Economy hit a lot of people.

Me: Yeah.

Ticket guy: Well we got a lot of deals for you James. Especially if you get season tickets.

Me: Well we’d love to make it to at least one this season but season tickets would not be possible at this time.

Ticket guy: Okay Okay. I understand. Let me get you started on some of our single game specials.

Me: Yeah we want to go to at least one but at this time I can’t make any commitments. We’ll be looking at the schedule soon…

Ticket guy: Well James we have a lot of gifts for ordering tickets now. Let’s see what it’ll take to get you to come on down. Lots of cool gifts.

Me: Is one of them a job?

Ticket guy: Oh? Uh? Haha no unfortunately. I’ll tell you what my name is again whatever name I originally said, and my number is (number here) when you know what you want I can help you. Okay?

Me: Thanks whatever his name was.

We said our goodbyes then. I couldn’t help but try and make him feel uncomfortable. I dig the people at the Crew and they’ve always been nice and helpful. When we can make a match I will call him.


One Response to The one on the phone

  1. Lindsay says:

    Oh my god, hilarious.

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