Hey it’s Tuesday! That means something somewhere? Well over at Pursuit Blog it means Penis Tuesday! This week it also means that the lovely Mel has allowed me to write another guest post for her. Yeah a Penis Tuesday jimi style!
Who can resist that? Certainly not any of you—go read. I’ll wait.
Done? Good. In all honesty she is one of the best reads out there. Read her often if you didn’t already. Today I haven’t got much to write about. Well I do but as of late I’ve been struggling to put it to paper (or computer) in a way I like.
With the prospect of people finding this place for the first time because of the guest post I felt I should post something. I have a few (billionity) more NYC stories to share but that didn’t seem right. You can read one here,here, here and here.
So I took to my good old friends on the webby web for possible topics.
One person suggested I just write from the heart.
Have the ever read my blog?
Another suggested a penis themed post to match the guest post. This sort of made sense except I wouldn’t want something too similar to the guest post. Plus most penis posts are found in my TMI Thursday posts.
Carissa suggested I write a Vagina Tuesday in an attempt to even it out and keep things fair. This almost resulted in me spitting coffee onto my computer screen. It also resulted in me typing Vagina into a Google search.
Which showed me at VAG: Vagisil, vagabond, Vagus Nerve, vagifem and vag.
And surprisingly searching Google with the term vagina didn’t bring up to horrible a result. It did show me these right away:
See not too scary?
So I’ve often sometimes been known to build makeshift peens while out. You know like place a straw between two balled up napkins and etc. It is some good wholesome fun. I usually get a “James” out of the wife who is trying not to giggle.
My favorite time was when I made one like that and then wet small strips of napkin and then threw them at the wife. I of course made a squirty sound as I did it.
Hey this place isn’t titled From the Mature Seats!
AnySquirtyFakePenis this fun activity came (haha) to bite me the other night. We were at Luxe with Lindsay when I heard the familiar “Really James?” from the wifey. I was of course innocent and so inquired what she meant. She pointed to a knife that was placed neatly between the salt and pepper shaker.
This I assure you was quite by accident. I used the pepper (and they gave me the salt at the same time so as to not kill a sailor or whatever) and then placed it near my plate. After cutting up my chicken I neatly (and unaware of the result) placed my knife on the bread plate. It just happened to be between the shakers like a little metal penis.
Another friend suggested for this post I Google search “Urban Penis” and so I did. She thought this may bring up cool instances of the above but it really didn’t. I was giving up when I came across this: