The one where men lay with other men.

First up I’ve got some shameless self promotion for ya. 1. Go check out the new stuff at B Movie Brigade, cus there’s been a lot of activity over there lately.

Moving on….This story as made up as it’ll sound actually happened. It was about 7 pm and not long after my lovely wife went on her merry way to rehearsal.

Rehearsal you ask? For what? I’m glad you asked that. Such a nice and inquisitive readership I have. Why it is for a play titled “Hillary a Modern day Greek Tragedy with a (somewhat) happy ending.” It will be at The Chagrin Valley Little Theatre starting Nov 26th. Be there or you know see above threat.

Be there or be square.

Yes if you don’t come I will turn you into a square. I’m all Harry Potter like up in this bitch.

Little known fact about Jimi: I have not read or seen any of the Potter series.

Anyplug she had pretty much just left when I began to hear yelling. It was coming from out (side) front of our building. I of course tried to tune in. I wanted to see if there were any tidbits I could use in my writing or send to Overheard Ohio.

Wow cheap plug central.

So it got louder and angrier. I could hear one side of it more. Some angry guy was yelling “Faggot this” and “Faggot that.” Then I heard lots of motion and kicking and etc. More calling faggot and etc. I grabbed my phone and headed out there afraid someone was going to be hurt. I tend to freak out about people mistreating anyone (but especially our GLBT friends) and couldn’t live with myself if something bad was happening right outside my apartment.

The wifey upon hearing all that happened was a bit mad. She suggested I just call the cops next time and not check first. This is probably sound advice. I did not intend to do what I did. I went out and the man was still yelling but now I could see who he was yelling at. One was a young dude who was reentering our building, after walking his dog. The other one involved was a young guy on his balcony. It turns out this is what started it.

Guy a decides he needs to pee so goes between our buildings and pees on them. Guy b (dog walker) is walking his dog back there and calls him out on it. Guy a fires back with:

“SO what! There are worse things than a man peeing. Men are laying with other men. Women are laying with other women. That is worse. That is the real problem.”

It of course escalated from there, with Guy C (balcony) coming out to tell him to shut the fuck up. Enter me. Now I’m out there. I see that it isn’t what I feared but is sort of humorous. The dog walker yelled a bit more and then went inside. The pee guy is still ranting about men laying with other men and how we are all faggots. Then he begins to threaten the faggots with “sticking his dick up their ass.”

Now the 4th time he threatened this I said “Are you sure you aren’t the one who wants to lay with men?” and he goes nutso. Calls me a faggot. Kicks the bus stop and launches into the men with men rant again. As he does this a cop (they were called by balcony guy) comes around the corner. Sees him yelling (at this point really to nobody in particular) and approaches him. He calms down but this convo actually happens.

Cop: Settle down.
Peeman: I’m just pissed.
Cop: I can see that. I got a call but why don’t you tell me what happened—is happening.
Peeman: Well you see I had to pee. So what’s a man who has to be gonna do? Go pee. I’m trying to pee back there and this faggot starts yelling at me. Man—
Cop: You know you can’t just pee anywhere? That is against the law.
Peeman: I know. I know but shouldn’t other things be against the law? Like a man laying with another man?
And we got women wanting to lay down with other woman. God don’t want that. That is the injustice.

He begins ranting and the copper tries to stop him. At this point 3 Cleve Hts police cars race up like it was a drug bust or serial killer. Eventually he will rant to all of them about men on men and women with women. They nicely place him in the car and drive off.


3 Responses to The one where men lay with other men.

  1. confessor69 says:

    Damn. My apartment life isn’t nearly as exciting as this. Everybody pees in private, and there’s not nearly as much ranting. Well, except for my ranting, but I pretty much keep it indoors.

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Cleveland Poet, Cleveland Poet. Cleveland Poet said: New post: the one where men lay with men. […]

  3. […] actually amusing here is the fact that I decided to plug this shit before I read J’s post, which is pretty much the same, but also tells of the outrageous people living in Cleveland […]

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