No it’s not me. I know I’m not smooth.
At least not 100 % of the time.
The following takes place at the Lou Barlow and the Missing Men show at the Grog Shop. It really has nothing to do with the show itself. That post will come later. The story is about a guy. A guy who clearly thinks he is smooth with women but most clearly is not. He was as
generic normal looking as the next college guy hitting up a show at the grog shop.
(I’m pretty sure he practices fist pumping in the mirror.)
AnyJerseyShoreReference I was in the men’s bathroom when I first encountered the
tool young man—oh who am I kidding he was a tool. I was at one of the three urinals making a sissy (ha take that wife!) and there was another guy at another one.
Side note: The grog means bathroom is set up so that there are 2 urinals on one wall and a 3rd directly on the opposite wall. Here crappy drawing to confuse and horrify you:
So keep that horrible paint shop chicken scratch in mind. So Douche O’Tool saunters on into the bathroom. There is a guy washing his hands and (as said before) two urinals being used. I’m at urinal A and there is a skinny dude at Urinal C. Now the quarters are close but unless you are precious (bad form peter) or fat bastard you can get in there easily. You know in and to the urinal without you know touching another dude and becoming gay because of it. He says:
O’Tool: Woah! A line in here what is this the woman’s room?
(No line not sure what he was talking about.)
O’Tool: I’m not going to that urinal and that guy is at the sink or I’d pee there.
At this point someone comes in and O’Tool says to him:
O’Tool: You see that chicks tits?
Guy: No, who?
O’Tool: Some chick out there.
So now I go to wash my hands and he runs to the urinal and pees. As I finish and leave he zips ups and hurriedly squeezes past me. As he does a girl is rounding the corner to go to the ladies room. She is wearing a cool Dinosaur Jr. Tee:
He stops her as she reaches the door.
O’Tool: That’s a dope shirt.
O’Tool: That’s a shirt that says “date me” all over it.
Chick: No thanks.
(She pushes door open.)
O’Tool: Hey mebbe we can xchange digits?
Chick: I don’t know about that.
O’Tool: Oh. You want me to wait out here?
(She goes inside the bathroom)
Yeah that actually happened. And yes I actually stopped to listen to this—pretending that I was texting someone—because I knew O’Tool wouldn’t let me down.