the one where it was just a tiny glob

Wow is it Thursday already? It appears to be the case, but these days they all blur together. I spent all of yesterday thinking it was Thursday and then today thinking it was Wednesday. What? Yeah don’t try to understand it.

Tomorrow I’ll probably have a post about the lecture we went to last night at The Cleveland Museum of Art. The lecture was on The Color Woodcuts of Mabel Hewit. It was very interesting and I took about 3 pages of notes.

Not one sentence of said notes is even remotely serious. That is tomorrow though. Today is all about the TMI.

Last week we (the wifey, Lindsay and I) went to our favorite drinking spot Parnell’s Pub to peep the World Cup Final.

Oh god the World Cup is over what will I do?! I feel so empty. Oh Sorry.

So we’re in there and it’s nice and packed. We got there about an hour and a half early so you know we had a great seat in front of the big TV. We enjoyed our time there. It is always fun there especially packed for a big match. So we drank (Lindsay and I more than Kat) and drank.

Lindsay got hilariously toasty but that really isn’t the story here. A little bit into the 2nd half of the match something happened. During halftime in which we got to chat it up a bit with the lovely @carlyjennifer and @azrael I could tell my allergies were going to get annoying. I could feel them inching closer (the allergies not the people we chatted with) and closer. The second half started and one nostril was feeling a little clogged but nothing would come out when I would blow my nose.

I could feel that a glob had somehow snuck its way down my nose into the throat area. He was lurking. He—we’ll call him George—George the glob—was ducking and weaving. I mean this was the freaking Muhammad Ali of the snot world. He just would not be beat. No rope a dope for this thing. I tried everything and then I tried to forget about him.

I cleared my throat except it sort of was more like:

An “Uhhhhhhhhh” noise and then bam this globule of snot (George) came plopping out of my mouth. It landed on the table—didn’t travel very far. The wifey saw it and of course went “ewww gross!” Which you know hearing “eww” of course perked Lindsay’s interest and the wife shared the info with her. Why? I don’t know.

I ripped off a piece of my napkin to take care of George. I was still watching the match and it got exciting (one of the teams was making a run) and I placed the piece of napkin down on George. I missed most of him (probably bobbed and weaved that dick) though. The napkin was next to it with its corner over part of the globule. I sort of forgot about it (read completely) until about 10 minutes later. I grabbed the napkin (to ball up) and that creepy fucker George swung a bit on to my thumb. Now I can’t say why but I sort of tried to flip it off of thumb with the napkin but I did. The napkin flew out of my hand toward my delicious Jack and Ginger. It hit the glass but didn’t really go in.

Except for George he decided a swim would be nice. He did a swan dive but luckily was still attached to the napkin so only partially went in. That’s right this snot globule fell partly into my Jack Daniels. I swiftly removed it but you know part of George was still in there somehow. I did the only thing I could do.

I drank my damn Jack Daniels. Yeah I drank it. Two reasons:

A. It’s Jack freaking Daniels and that is like precious liquid. You do not waste Jack and stay my friend.

II. It was only a little bit and you know from my mouth. We and George are practically kin.

Okay that last one probably didn’t help the cause. Drink up bitches!

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One Response to the one where it was just a tiny glob

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Cleveland Poet, Cleveland Poet. Cleveland Poet said: TMI Thursday:The one where it was just a tiny glob […]

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