the one where I write Lilu a bad ode

Okay a while ago I decided I’d write an ode to Lilu in support of her MTV TJ campaign. This would generally be frowned upon by most candidates for most things. I enjoy writing the horribly bad odes to things I love. Oh oh that sounds creepy. Moving on I decided but never did, but then I had a bit of nicely buzzed free time at the pub yesterday. The lovely wife and Lindsay joined me at Parnell’s for the World Cup Final. It was fun and met some cool peeps but that is for another time. As we waited for our tabs and what not I began to jokingly pen an ode to lilu on a wet napkin.

The fact I did it on a wet napkin does not reflect her awesomeness. Or it does depending what each and every one (read all 5 people) of you reading this feel about wet napkins. Anynapkin I kept it going on in my notebook and well it expanded got weirder and well ended up like this.

Another note:
I don’t know why the parenthesis stuff doesn’t have to rhyme. Also they should be heard in your head like how Nelly sings in ‘Pimp Juice’

I apologize in advance…..

Let her tweet (mtv!)
or I’ll kick you with my feet (of course I will!)
My feet are dirty and that wouldn’t be fun (for youuuu)
But this is about Lilu not you, me or Attila the hun (say whattt?)
She can quote always sunny just like a pro. (rock flag and eagleeee)
I got to wonder how good she’d look with a kick ass fro. (look at all that hair)
You know you can’t beat her surprise trust falls (you better catch her)
Can only hope she’d take her cat’s phone calls (yes live on the air)
Guess I should have said fur babies (save them all)
Bish so cool you’d let her give you rabies (no she doesn’t actually have rabies!)
Lilu she does got that humor (thang dowwwn)
Oh oh you think we could get her to say “it’s not a tumor” (all kindergarten cop like)
She’s a hot momma that calls herself a southified mass-hole (that’s betta than an asshole yo)
DUST YOUR SHOES OFF – befo` you touch that flo (I totally ripped that whole line from Nelly)
On MTV she’d be nothing but awesome. (and that’s no mean feet err feat)
I’m relatively sure she’s never stabbed a bum (can you say the same?)
Unless of course it was a triple dog dare (that doesn’t count)
Just take a look at her hair (wait what?)
Moving on because that was sort of creepy (and how?)
Will you vote for her if she promises to live in a teepee? (How)
That joke was pretty tasteless (sing alongggg)
On TV she’d dance and be shameless (losing is for losers)
She’s a dork and makes it look good (go on get your nerd on)
Oh and she pulls off saying “bish:” now I just wish I could (nope can’t do it)
Wine in a can and French fries can be considered romancing (can we channel sir mix a lot?)
You know we could use some more white girl dancing (vote bishes!)

What are you waiting for? Vote here

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5 Responses to the one where I write Lilu a bad ode

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LiLu. LiLu said: RT @ClevelandPoet: one where I write a bad ode for Lilu: read & vote for @LivitLuvit […]

  2. LiLu says:

    I think you need to make this a vlog… 😉

    Thanks so much, darlin!!!

  3. City Girl says:

    I love this! And, I’m still so bummed that MTV handled the contest in such a shady manner. xoxo

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