Conversations with Jimi 7

It’s been a while since our last installment of Conversations with Jimi. I was going to hold off until it was like a mega post or you know like a Voltron of conversations. Instead I decided to share the goodies early and start a new.

1.

Wife: You look like a pimp in that hat.
Me: My pimp hand is strong.

2.

A Gatorade commercial plays showing numerous athletes.

(Kevin Garnett comes one)
Me: Fuck you Kevin Garnett.
(Dwight Howard comes on)
Me: Fuck you Dwight Howard.
(Various others and the Kevin Garnett)
Me: Fuck you.
(Various others)
Wifey (at TV): Fuck you
Me: I love how you just told the nice Kenyan runner fuck you but Dwight Howard comes on and you say nothing.
Wife: I was showing you how ridiculous you were being by saying it.
Me: You are so mean.

3.

Wifey (about a woman on TV): I don’t like her bangs.
Me: Yeah she does need some more boobs.
Wifey: What? Bangs.
Me: Oh right bangs not boobs.

4.

Maggie’ comes on the radio while we are driving.

(Halfway in)
Me: Do you think this is about his dog?
Her: Maybe but I’m pretty sure Barry Manilow is the only one to write a song about his dog. You know not Rod Stewart.
(I laugh.)
Her: Jackass.

5.

The wife says something that I thought was “god are you there.”

Me: What the hell’d you say?
Her: Nevermind.
Me: Did you just say god are you there?
Her: I said hunny bear.
Me: you said god are you there.
Her: god are you there it’s me Margaret.
Me: Honey he’s gonna know you’re lying.

6.

The wife is about to leave for work but comes back toward the bedroom

Me (in bed): You’re not lolly gagging are you?
Wife (yelling): I’m pooping!
Me: Oh. Don’t forget to wipe.
Wife: I hate you.

7.

The wifey is on the bed and plays dead. I slap her boob till she opens her eyes.

Wife: Jerk.
Me: You shouldn’t have been playing.
Wife: You thought I was dead.
Me: If I thought you were dead you’d be half naked already.

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6 Responses to Conversations with Jimi 7

  1. Um…talking about pooing is like a major, major faux pas…unless its about dogs eating poo.

    • well see you bring up a good point and after reading this the wife said “don’t talk about me pooping!” and I explained to her I didn’t. She is the one who brought up the fact that she was pooping and by yelling “I’m pooping” put it out there for me to use.

      funny wins over everything.

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Cleveland Poet. Cleveland Poet said: you go read this: A new conversations with Jimi part the 7: https://ftcs.wordpress.com/2010/07/02/927/ you know you want to! […]

  3. kittenkaboom says:

    @Avapidblonde, clearly you have never read any of his other posts. 🙂 hehehe

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