A note before I get on to the tmi: I reread this post right before posting it and it sucks. It really does. It is a funny story and gross but the actually post is bad. The quality just is not there. It is probably the worst one I’ve ever written. Sorry.
Today your hero returns to the land of tmi Thursday once again. (Shocking I know.) (Just so you know I imagine these random lines in parenthesis are sung) That bit of weirdness out of the way on to the story. Your hero did not return to the land of tmi unarmed. (Oh no.) It is a familiar weapon. It is a toothbrush. (His Cleveland Browns toothbrush to be exact.) It takes places once again in the shower. Yes it takes place in the soapy confines of my shower. (Getting naked on my blog again!) There will be pics to follow.
No there won’t be any pictures.
Or will there be?
No really there will be no naked pictures.
Anynonakedness I will however diverge and divulge some maybe interesting information. (It won’t be very interesting.) When I take showers I tend do a whole lot of thinking about my writing in there. So I tend to end up just standing there with my arms folded across my chest as the water flows down on me.
I vaguely remember saying this before and if that is the case then I apologize.
So I’m in the shower doing actual shower things. No not masturbating. One of the things of course was brushing my teeth. When I finished brushing them I did something I generally do afterwards. (No it wasn’t masturbation!) I usually pull the shower curtain away and toss my tooth brush over and into the sink. I do this so I don’t forget the tooth brush in the shower. As for other reasons why I do this: I don’t know.
This time was a little different. I pulled back the curtain and tossed the toothbrush. The problem is I tossed it like I was a Cleveland quarter back and it was way too weak. It missed the sink altogether. It went under the sink which happens to be where we keep our cat’s litter box. I saw this. I cringed and then with nothing else to do I finished my shower. When I got out and dried off this is what I saw:
Yeah my toothbrush managed to land bottom first (thankfully) and standing up in the box. Especially since when I leaned down to pick it up I could see it was sticking out of a freshly made and mostly covered in litter poop.
I yanked it out and scrubbed it off feverishly in the sink. As I was cleaning it off the wifey walks in and sees me. There were pieces of litter in the sink and she looked at me like I was nuts. I explained to her what happened and that really didn’t help.
There you have it I speared a piece of poop with my tooth brush like it was a brown, non whale version of Moby dick. Hahah or Moby Poo!
Why do I keep brushing my teeth in the shower when such bad things seem to keep happening?
For all of you of course.