Close encounters of the Brownaconda kind

Today I woke up (early) and in an actual cheery mood. I felt productive and sure of what I wanted to get accomplished. Somewhere along the way I did my best Titanic impression and slammed headlong into an iceberg made of gloom. It came fast (that’s what she said!) and seemingly out of nowhere.

It happens like that often. I suppose I should be used to it. You’d think. Now I’ve been very neglectful of the Cheap Seats and other things. I’ve been writing though so that is good. Working hard on my play has been my full time job. If only it paid that way. At first I thought the problem would be that because I wasn’t working I’d not have anything to write about. That may have hindered the stories a bit but I’ve had things to say since then. The problem was apathy I suppose. I really don’t know. I just found it hard to bring myself to post.

That will change. It must change. I mean when I let some of aspect of creativity fall to the side is exactly when my gloomy moods strike. So I decided to put some tunes on and hammer out this TMI Post. I’ve got a few other things coming up. A couple of reviews and some interesting post on things. Keep your eyes peeled people.

I don’t even know what that means so don’t ask.

This TMI is not so much as a tmi as something gross that happened to me while at work. Yeah work. It will just catalog the tale of finding something completely disgusting. It happened one day while on my break. It was one of those glorious times where there was absolutely nobody upstairs. I mean nobody on break and none of the tools higher ups where in their offices. I was alone. Ah to read and eat in silence.

And I did. Magically not a single soul came up for very long during those 30 minutes of bliss. Then I went into the bathroom, and there was a particularly thick smell of crap. Now the employee bathroom always smelled worse than any others I’d been in. It always smelled like it was placed deep in the heart of the sewer. However you could smell this Brownaconda smell as if it was slowly wrapping its body around your neck.

Whateves clearly someone filled up the pool with a big one. I went about my business of making a sissy (ha take that wife!) Afterwards I washed my hands like a good employee and then wiped them try with a paper towel. I went to toss it when the unmistaken aroma of the Brownaconda (king of the porcelain swamp) hit me. I dumped (haha nice choice Jimi) my paper towel in the trash and knew I’d found where the surly devil rested.

What was in there was a pair of boxers. A pair of boxers that had tiny polka dots on them along with a couple of baby brownacondas that looked a little squished. You could see that whoever had crapped themselves had tried to hide it in a ball of paper towels but it had escaped.

And what was on one of the half squished little brown guys? A cheeto was doing the moonwalk on them.
Like this (but inside out and in a trash can):


I named the cheeto: Chip Orngarin. (Buzz Aldrin)

You are welcome.

Oh and I added the various poo stains for you my good readers benefit.

You’re welcome again.


2 Responses to Close encounters of the Brownaconda kind

  1. kittenkaboom says:

    you. are. so. gross. ew.

  2. moooooog35 says:

    Don’t judge a person until you’ve shit yourself a cheetoh a mile in their shoes…or boxers.

    Cliche fail.

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