The one where I salute Roadhouse

This past weekend the missus, pelvic Joann and I went to see Roadhouse at the Cedar Lee Theatre. Yeah the Cult Movie Series (Late Shift) for this month was Roadhouse starring Patrick Swayze.

Love, treachery, and broken furniture are the hallmarks of this rollicking action drama. Dalton (Patrick Swayze) has a Ph.D., but rather than make a living teaching Socrates at some university, he’s opted to become a top-drawer “cooler” — an expert barroom bouncer who can break up fights without getting himself killed in the process. Dalton is hired to keep the peace at the Double Duce, a rough-and-tumble honky tonk in Jasper, Missouri, where beer-soaked free-for-alls are a nightly event.

Was the movie predictable? Yeah. Was the acting memorable? Not in the good way. Was it highly entertaining and worth the watch? Absofreakinglutely!
Some fun facts about the movie:

The man who composed the film’s score, Michael Kamen, also scored the Lethal Weapon movies, the first three Die Hards, and – wait for it – Mr. Holland’s Opus.

An off-Broadway musical production of the film wowed audiences in 2003 it was called Road House: The Stage Version Of The Cinema Classic That Starred Patrick Swayze, Except This One Stars Taimak From The ’80s Cult Classic “The Last Dragon” Wearing A Blonde Mullet Wig.

Chris Latta (the most awesomest of voice actors) who played Starscream on Transformers and of course Cobra Commander makes a cameo on this movie as the “Sharing Husband”.

During the pool party scene Dalton (Patrick S.) is reading the book “Legends of the Fall”

In the beginning band sequence, the drummer of the band is actually the late, great Randy Castillo, drummer for Ozzy Ozbourne from 1985 to 1993.

Patrick Swayze gets down with Kelly Lynch to the Otis Redding song “These Arms of Mine” – the same song he used to woo Jennifer Grey’s character in Dirty Dancing

Road House was frequently cited as a favorite film of the characters on Mystery Science Theater 3000, especially Crow T. Robot

So anyroadhouse without further hesitation I’ll just get onto the fact that I decided to write an ode to Roadhouse. Why? I can’t actually say I simply did. Aptly named Ode to Roadhouse. Enjoy

Ode to Roadhouse

Oh Roadhouse how do I love thee?
I just want to say here: Patrick Swayze.
Yes I just rhymed that
Because Dalton is one cool cat.
He could kick your ass or school your mind
They even show you his behind.
If you’re into that kind of thing.
Wait why did the waitress just sing?
Master of the running gag
You got ass kicking in the bag
With the upper cuts and roundhouse kicks
All your bad guys were real dicks
You know how to make a bad guy who just doesn’t care
Why did that car ignite mid-air?
There was one of my favorite wrestlers Terry Funk
And that waitress who had spunk.
Did I mention Sam Elliot is in it?
He called Swayze “mijo” quite a bit.
Together they sweated cool
Oh look more naked girls in a pool.
Knives, monster trucks and guns oh my
Count them 3 major explosions before we said goodbye.
Remember that time he curled the dudes leg around the tree?
In closing I’ll simply say a polar bear fell on me.


One Response to The one where I salute Roadhouse

  1. That Ode to Roadhouse rocked my world.

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