TMI Thursday: Wrong bloody bathroom lady!

Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!
TMI Thursday

Well, Hello neighbor! Look, its Thursday again. Wow! Did you know it was Thursday again already? I bet you did. You look real smart. Do you know what Thursday means neighbor? That’s right…hold on let me take my shoes off….it means it is….now my sweater….TMI Thursday! Do you like TMI Thursday? Okay enough of the cheap Mr. Rogers impersonation. I’m not sure why I even had the urge to do that (Other than the fact that I was getting naked as I typed this.)

I’m just kidding.

I was naked the whole time.

Joking.

Or am I?

Anynaked time for my TMI Post. This one harkens back a couple of months. It goes back to my first bout with the cough from hell. Sadly for all of you I do not have a picture to go with it. I know I know but do try to cheer up.

So I was at work and the cough at this point was (probably) at its worst. I was coughing hard just about every minute with instances of prolonged fits. So much coughing (and so hard) that there were blood vessels bursting and my face looked terrible. I looked like patient zero in a zombie flick. I was coughing and spitting stuff up at a pretty good clip. I mean I was a pro at it….hmmm perhaps I can find a way to get paid for it. No? Okay. It was at the point where there was blood in the crap I was spitting up. This day was no different. Well except for what happened. So I was feeling like crap. I didn’t sleep much the night before and had considered calling off. I of course did not. So I’m at work and the cough hasn’t been too bad. I had enough control to make it to the back or to the bathroom when I was gonna have a bad amount of coughing. This is one of those trips. I get into the bathroom and cough till my face is red, afterwards I stood in front of the sink trying to collect myself. My nose had been bothering me. It felt real sore, dry but every time I coughed it seemed to fill up. So I blew my nose and some stuff came out but it (my nose) felt filled. So after another blow with no success I succumbed to desperation. I moved closer to the sink and pushed one finger to my nose and

Blew!

Everything in my nose, head and body appeared to come out. It hurt like hell too. I coughed and coughed and when I looked up there was blood, snot and god knows what sprayed all over the sink. Son of a bitch! I turn to get some paper towels and what do I see?

A woman is standing in the doorway switching from me to the sink and back again. She had one of the most horrified looks on her face I’ve ever seen. She said “I thought this was the ladies room” and ran out.

Yeah. Awesome.

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4 Responses to TMI Thursday: Wrong bloody bathroom lady!

  1. […] Cleveland Poet’s TMI Thursday: Wrong bloody bathroom lady! […]

  2. Vittoria says:

    Yum!! You should have found her outside and then rubbed your hands all over her desk.

  3. carissajade says:

    Ahhh hahaha I’ve done that many times. Both the nose thing and the wrong bathroom thing. And um. I loved the Mr Rogers Impression. Nice, verry nice.

  4. Lucy says:

    Obviously, the woman the can’t read and bet her day was ruined! Did you ever go to the doctor??

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