Conversations with Jimi Volume the third

So to start off we’re going to delve into my work situation for a second. This recently happened and I suppose serves as a reminder of just how much I’m valued at work. I needed a new Emo teen with slashes up their arm cutter for work. So I ask someone who use to get them for me. He tells me he can’t but if I ask the store manager he’ll get me one of the fancy ones. So I bring myself to ask and after he looks at me and repeats “a cutter” he goes off to get one. Now he opens the desk and there is a fancy one (which he pushes aside) and scrounges till he finds a cheap looking old one that when I try to use really does not open without more effort than should be needed. A sign of how respected I am? Who knows but to bolster my confidence a trip down to Conversations with jimi RD and amused with myself BLVD. Enjoy.

(Commercial for Rihanna comes on.)

Me: You think the reason she has so much makeup on is because she’s….
Wife: You are so wrong.
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(Watching ‘Live Free or Die Hard’ and Bruce Willis’ character Turns Creedence Clearwater Revival up on the car radio. The guy who plays the Mac (In the PC vs. Mac commercials) doesn’t like this.)

Me: Who isn’t down with the Creed?
The Wife: I know right.
Me: Although really they aren’t that great.
The Wife: What are you talking about Creedence Clearwater is awesome.
Me: No. Now I’ll give you they’re good. I’ll give you they’re classic. I will not however give you awesome.
The Wife: Oh they’re awesome. You have to say they are its CCR.
Me (Possibly grinding in her direction): I got your CCR right here! A bad moon rising for ya!
The Wife: Oh James.
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(The wife is making elaborate pushing noises from the bathroom.)

Me: The kids need a push into the pool?
The Wife: No I was doing the noises for your benefit.
Me: Now that’s love.

*********************************************************************************

Me (To Rasputin our cat): Don’t look at me like that, I can talk to her. She may be a handful but we still love her.
Wifey: Are you referring to me? (She had just spurned his affection)
Me: (To the wife) No, no. I was talking about Csonka (our other kitty) not you. (To Rasputin) I was talking about her. Shhh.
(Then I made him fist bump me.)
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(After reaching for some tissue paper and not finding it.)

Me: You took my tissue.
Wife: Oh yeah sorry.
Me: Now I’ll have to blow my nose on Rasputin.
Wife: Don’t blow your nose on the cat. I’ll get you more.
Me: Oh
(Rasputin runs from my lap.)
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(Wife calls me from work)

The Wife: We should get something inscribed on our rings.
Me: Like what?
The Wife: Do or Die.
Me: Oh Oh I know live or die man?
The Wife: Uhm no.
Me: Oh I got I got it! Sweep the leg!
The Wife: Uhm…
Me: You know from The Karate Kid.
The Wife: I know where it’s from…
*********************************************************************************

(Text conversation)

Wifey: Hey I’m getting Return of The Jedi from Linzi so we can watch it tonight.
Me: Are you sexting me?
Wifey: Yes.
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(I get into the car.)

Me: So I have this idea for a roleplay.
Wifey: Okay.
Me: Want to hear it?
Wifey: Sure.
Me: Okay so it’s Star Wars themed.
Wifey: Of course it is.
Me: Not the typical one. No gold bikini though same movie and involves Princess Leia. Okay so it’d be like when they’re on Endor. Okay? You’re wearing like a camouflaged poncho thing. You’ve just crashed your speeder, out cold. I’ll come up like wicket; I’m short and got enough hair to reasonably pull it off. I’ll poke at you and be afraid of you, you’ll offer me the food and then some loving.
Wifey: Uhm….you are so weird.
Me: What?
Wifey: And you certainly could pull off the ewok—
Me: Yeah I said the hairy part already!

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2 Responses to Conversations with Jimi Volume the third

  1. kryptonitekatt says:

    1. I’m sure “the wife” really appreciated the bathroom convo being included.
    2. I can totally see that conversation, and the fist bump, with Rasputin.
    3. I guess my iPhone didn’t make the cut.

  2. kittenkaboom says:

    @kryptonitekatt… I didn’t. but it was funny 🙂

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