Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s! So if my Too Much Info doesn’t slake your thirst for the gross click on over to LiLu’s and read them all.
This week I’m going to drop a little non jimi story on you. This TMIT post is about a coworker who I will not name or really even describe. I will say that all his groceries don’t make down the checkout line. What the hell? He’s not all there mentally. I hesitate to write about this because he’s a good guy, but really nobody who doesn’t work there and know about this sort of thing will know who he is.
I’ll start with bit of background of Sam (not his name) for you. He’s been known to pick at his hair (a la a monkey picking at another monkey’s) and then eat whatever he finds there. He’s also been known to pretty openly rummage through the trash to find something to chow on.
I’ll give you a moment to digest that (Ha Ha!)
On to the actually incident I’m posting about. It of course happened one fine Cleveland day at the
hell hole wonderful place I work at. I as I went about my business (don’t worry I’m not digressing into a poop post) around the store I came upon a cart in one of the aisles. It wasn’t just any cart either. No some ass clown customer had a cassata cake that somehow fell over and busted throw the plastic container. It spilled all over the little section you sit a child and onto the floor too. Half of this cake was on the floor under the cart and the other half was on the cart. So I was a good employee and informed the people up front that someone needed to clean it up. Now Roger (that’s right I changed it from Sam deal with it!) at the time was the store’s porter. Naturally they called him and I went about my merry way. A few minutes pass and I find myself passing the cake disaster aisle and there is Steve (switcharoo!) there munching on the cake as he picks it off the cart. He had a trash bag and some paper towels. It went sort of like this: Wipe wipe toss (in trash) and then a handful into his mouth. I sort of gawked at this for a few seconds and then left. As luck would have it I had to pass by Bob’s (just when you think I won’t I change it again!) buffet aisle to see him scooping the stuff on the floor into the trash and of course his mouth. He did this until everything was clean enough to eat off of.
Ha ha I kill me.
Okay that is all. Not the typical one and not all that graphic but still pretty damn gross.