gummy blow job or TMI Thursday

Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

TMI Thursday

Right back to the sex posts (sorry family!) for me I guess. It does help me to keep adding ass to mouth for no real reason. Now the last time I posted about sex my wife said I came off “dickish” but I have to disagree. I mean sure I was a little less than nice of my description of the ex, but it was fair. Plus I was damn sick and the broad wouldn’t leave me be. She was the dick! Anyways this post I will admit was sort of dick like on my part. You can leave now if you are a member of my family. Here we go:

We have to jump back in the DeLorean. This time we’ll be heading once again to my High School days (almost like it’s a theme) to the first time I received a blow job. It was a glorious and celebratory moment in my life! At this point I had been getting the touches, the gropes and the yanks. That was pretty fine up until that point. That Tuesday in April changed it all. It was a pretty awesome girl (Who I won’t name.) We’d been friends for a while and gotten pretty close. When this fun and very pretty girl thought we should maybe try our hand at being a couple I wasn’t going to say no. One beautiful April afternoon we were relaxing at a park when things started to heat up. After a few minutes of making out and some light petting she asked the greatest question ever.
“You want a blow job?”

I think it burst a hole through my pants and said “hell yes!” I in my innocence assumed we’d walk over to her house and she’d truly become my favorite chick in the whole wide world. Instead she had me lean back against the tree and proceeded to take it out. She started off slowly and then she stopped and leaned her head to the side and smiled at me. I held my breath hoping to any and every god that she was going to keep going. As she moved back to continue (and with more enthusiasm) I noticed something in her hair. Trying to take my minds focus from the wonderful feeling in my naught bits I wanted to know what was in her hair. Finally I realize it was some gum that looked like it was rolled in tar or some other disgusting substance. I knew what I had to do. I had to tell her right? That’s about when she really started bobbing and as sad as it was going to be I had to do what I had to do. I mean this awesome chick was gobbing my knob (haha had to throw that in there to annoy my wife!) and I owed her the decency of telling her. So I sucked it up and did the only thing I could do. I moved my hands that were on her head (quite next to the alien substance) and put them on my side. She continued for about 8 more minutes and as I thanked her I channeled my inner Marlon Brando and acted as if I just saw it. We packed up and headed to her house. I helped her get it out (luckily it wasn’t in there too much.) I thanked her some more and then on her nice clean, gum free bed I returned the favor.

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7 Responses to gummy blow job or TMI Thursday

  1. […] Cleveland Poet’s gummy blow job or TMI Thursday […]

  2. Paula says:

    I don’t think I blame you for not telling her until afterwards . . .

  3. Zoe Right says:

    You’re such a man. For a woman- that would be all we could think of and we’d miss the best part- the oral.

  4. LiLu says:

    Agree with Paula. I don’t know any guy who WOULDN’T have waited!

  5. carissajaded says:

    Hell, even if you would have told her, she probably would have kept goin, it sounds like…

  6. she was enjoying it…I was ENJOYING it it was my duty not to stop it. I’m the hero in this instance. Ah the sacrifices I make.

  7. kryptonitekatt says:

    Last time I stopped reading as soon as I got to “First off if you are my mom or either of my sisters please don’t continue” because I know that I wouldn’t be able to unread it. I didn’t read this one either. As far as other family members go, I can’t vouch for them.

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