Excuse me Miss, where can I get a full beard like yours?

Pic A

Pic A


Pic B

Pic B

Okay so one of those pictures is a bit cartoonish and over the top. Can you guess which one? B? Anyway I often feel like picture A at work. At the very least no matter how hard I try I feel a strange surety that I have that look on my face at all times. The picture looks silly and I think nicely captures my feeling of “What the hell happened and how the hell did I get here?” So last week before the shit hit the fan and I found myself under a very large annoying bus this occurred. As I was putting up tags in aisle 5, a lady pushes her cart down the aisle to me and stops. Ok so she is now facing the side of my face (see Picture B.)

*I should break in to explain that aisle 5 is where the shampoo is in and I’m in fact standing in front of the shampoo.*

When I realize she is standing there staring at me I turn to face her full on (See Picture A.) I’m pretty sure I even smiled a big friendly smile. Although my smiles do come off sometimes as grimaces that really has nothing to do with what eventually happened. Anyhoo however my smile comes across I smile and say hello. She of course replies with:

“Excuse me miss, but where is the shampoo?”

I hitch my thumb to my right and say “Sure they’re right here.” I’ll overlook the shampoo question but the miss part is problematic. The photographic evidence I’ve provided makes it abundantly clear that I’m not a miss at all. She must’ve thought I had a real glandular problem if she thought I was a chick.

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2 Responses to Excuse me Miss, where can I get a full beard like yours?

  1. […] Diver. She bullied me into it I mean complained asked me to. Why I’m not sure. I mean don’t I get called miss enough as it is? Anyway she took my bait about the whole thing being sexist and kept turning it around on […]

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