I’ve always wanted to be able to use that as a title. I know Blink 182 got to it first but at least my title will be related to the post. As funny as the above picture is, I assure you the following events actually happened. I have not embellished them in any way.
The Following takes place between 2PM and 3PM.
I was going to make some sort of Kiefer Sutherland joke here, but I couldn’t decide if it should be a head butting joke or a naked x-mas tree hugging joke. That being said feel free to insert your own joke. The note/conversation I scribbled on an old receipt only had a time—2:07PM. I can say this was about a month ago. I was stocking the vitamins in a very professional manner.
Okay enough with the laughing.
Short set up and then on to the meat of the matter—the conversation. As I said before I’m stocking the vitamins and this lady of maybe mid 60’s comes up to me. And this happens:
Lady: Young man.
Me: Hi, How are you today?
Lady: I have a complaint….you’re too young.
Me: (silent and then uncomfortable laugh)
Lady: Probably won’t care.
Me: How can I help?
Lady: These. (Points up at Fleet enema box)
Me: Do you need—
Lady: Look at them!
Lady: The side. Grab one. Look. It is pornography.
Me: Oh the instructions.
Lady: Whatever that is.
Lady: It shouldn’t be there.
Me: I don’t think anything can be done. It’s like that on all the brands.
Lady: Don’t you think it’s wrong?
Lady: That’s all I guess I’m going to say. I need to shop. Have a good day.
She exits stage left and I find a receipt to record it for all of you. The moral of this story is if you’re hard up for some loving, come on over to the store and get your porn on.