So it is quite possible that the reason I was put on this planet is to creep people out. Here is the latest successful mission. It was at work. The only real set up was I was tired, the day had a bad start and I just sat through a meeting.
Manager: Tighten that tie Mr. professional.
Me: I’d like to tighten my tie till it chokes and then tie it to something on the ceiling and hang there.
(He looks away a confused/creeped out look on his face)
I had to create and put up this communication board at work.
Manager: I thought with you doing there’d be magic fairy dust on it or bejeweled or something.
Me: I’m creative not gay.
Him: Oh well right…